Are you an INFJ personality type?
If so, you are one of the rarest personality types of all. INFJs make up about one to three percent of the total population.
That means when someone becomes involved with you, they are connecting with a unique, perceptive, complex, and sometimes mysterious personality.
As an INFJ, relationships are especially important to you, so it’s essential that you understand yourself and what you need in a partner.
Your personality type definitely influences how you relate to other people, and understanding your type can make a huge difference in your choice of friends and romantic partners.
If you happen to be another personality type who is involved with an INFJ, bravo to you for taking time to learn about this special person in your life.
Here’s the Myers Briggs Foundation’s general description of INFJs:
Seek meaning and connection in ideas, relationships, and material possessions. Want to understand what motivates people and are insightful about others. Conscientious and committed to their firm values. Develop a clear vision about how best to serve the common good. Organized and decisive in implementing their vision.
Did you notice that very first two sentences in the description reveal the INFJs keen interest in relationships?
Of all of the types, we are particularly intrigued with and motivated by our relationships with other people — especially our romantic partners.
INFJ Relationships and Dating
INFJs take their relationships very seriously and are always seeking the “ideal” partner.
They don’t prefer dating around and having a series of superficial connections. INFJs want a soulmate or least someone who engages with them on a deep and intimate level.
Communication is a high value for this type, and not just any communication.
It needs to be authentic, perceptive, and lacking ego. It also should be open and honest with both partners willing to share of themselves.
INFJs love deeply and pay attention to the needs, emotions, and preferences of their partners. And they’d like some of that devotion and affirmation in return.
Because they tend to be more extraverted introverts, INFJs are open to adventure as well as to deep philosophical conversation.
When it comes to physical intimacy, they view sex with their partner as a near spiritual encounter and a way to bond body and soul with them.
INFJ Best Match
Although INFJs can match well with just about any personality type, there are some types that have more INFJ compatibility than others.
Because INFJs are sensitive, introspective, and empathic, personalities that are more intuitive (the N function) tend to match better than the sensing types (the S function).
INFJs partner well with ENFPs, ENFJs, INTJs, INTPs, and INFPs. They also do well with other INFJs — although given the rarity of this type, it might be hard to find another INFJ to date.
8 reasons INFJ relationships are extraordinary and powerful:
1. INFJs seek meaning.
We tend to seek out relationships that are far more than superficial.
We crave deep, intense, meaningful interactions with people who share our commitment to intimate connection and growth.
It might take us more time to find our “tribe” or lover, but once we do, our relationships have a level of depth and sincerity that is profoundly fulfilling.
2. INFJs are warm and compassionate.
Whether you’re in a friendship or romantic relationship with an INFJ, you’ll find they are selfless, warm, and trustworthy.
Because they so highly value relationships, they strive to be the best possible friend or partner.
In fact, they are always desiring to improve or perfect their relationships.
They are excellent listeners and extremely supportive and compassionate.
If a conflict arises, INFJs are usually the first to seek resolution and are very willing to find compromise.
3. INFJs are invested love partners.
INFJs fall deeply in love and enjoy showing love to their partners and sharing their rich inner life with their soulmate.
They are committed to the relationship and will work tirelessly to maintain a strong and intimate bond. INFJs are service-oriented, so making their partner happy is very important to them.
Because they have such high expectations from their love relationship, INFJs do best with a partner who is equally committed and invested in a healthy, meaningful connection, and someone who is willing to offer affirmation and emotional intimacy.
4. INFJs are soul-filled lovers.
For INFJs, sex is an expression of love rather than lust, and they will rarely engage in it casually.
They view sex as a communion of the souls, adding to the bond between them and their mate.
INFJs are passionate partners, and see sexual intimacy as a way to make their partners happy.
INFJs cherish not just being in a relationship, but the joy of becoming one with another person, in mind, body and soul.
5. INFJs are empathic.
INFJs have uncanny insight into people and situations. They can read the mood of a room and get strong feelings about other people.
They have natural intuitive abilities that allow them a depth of understanding and compassion other types don’t possess.
Because of their empathic and caring nature, INFJs attract many people to them, although they are generally selective about their closest friendships and lovers.
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6. INFJs are values-oriented parents.
Most INFJs take their role as a parent very seriously.
They are devoted, warm and loving parents, and they want their children to grow as independent individuals with strong values and principles.
INFJs listen to their child’s point of view and will take into consideration their ideas and suggestions, as they want their children to learn to think on their own and make sound decisions.
As their children become adults, INFJs especially enjoy having a deep and meaningful relationship with them.
7. INFJs are creative and visionary.
INFJs try to express their complex inner worlds through creative pursuits. They have rich imaginations and can easily visualize their ideas.
The are excellent communicators and writers and have a high degree of imagery and metaphor in their writing.
INFJs often use their creativity to draw people to a mission, to beautify the environment, to help people envision possibilities, and to improve the human condition.
They tend to notice patterns and trends to develop creative visions and ideas.
8. INFJs are dedicated, principled workers.
When INFJs are in the right careers, they are highly valuable employees or professionals.
They want a career where they can make a difference, while utilizing their creativity and organizational skills.
They are creative problem solvers, have innovative ideas, and are principled workers who can envision, plan, and carry out complex projects aligned with their values.
In team environments, INFJs are mindful of group process, and will listen attentively to the opinions of others while synthesizing ideas and input to create a unified vision.
You’ll often find INFJs in helping professions such as counseling, teaching, or the ministry.
Have you found your INFJ relationship match?
If you see yourself as an INFJ, and you’re looking for a romantic partner, it’s valuable to recognize some of the less positive traits of this personality type.
In spite of our warmth, compassion, and creativity, we can sometimes be dismissive, intolerant, and intense.
We may have unreasonable expectations of others and be less than patient with their weaknesses.
But because we value self-awareness and inner growth, INFJs can improve these problem areas through self-reflection and by applying the same insight and determination we use for causes we value.
Even though we may search for that ideal relationship, the better path is seeking someone who is willing to learn and grow in the connection rather than someone who is perfect.
Don’t allow your expectations to push away a potential partner who is willing to listen, communicate, and evolve with you.