Relationship Compatibility Test: Are Your Personalities A Love Match?

Have you ever taken a relationship compatibility test?

Maybe you ran across one online and wondered, “How could any test tell me whether or not my spouse/partner/crush and I are compatible? What do they look for?”

A compatibility test for couples might look at any of these factors:

  • Personalities (using the MBTI or other classifications)
  • Goals / interests / passions
  • Views on politics, religion, children, money, and intimacy

All of these come into play in any relationship, but is your similarity in one or all of these categories the best indicator of compatibility — or is it just something that makes it easier to speak the other’s language?

Because there will be disagreements. Personality is important, but compatibility is less about how alike you are than about how you’re likely to respond to differences, disagreements, and conflicts of interest.

It’s also about how each of you contributes to the other’s personal growth.

So, how do you find out whether you and your significant other are a love match?

And what does that even mean?

What is love compatibility?

Usually, when a love quiz asks the question, “Are you two compatible?” it means one or more of the following:

  • Do you want the same things (from life)?
  • Do you have the same end goals?
  • Do your personalities complement each other?

Pre-wedding retreats across the country cover every couple’s approaches to money, politics, child rearing, religious upbringing, and intimacy.

man and woman standing together relationship compatibility test

Couples who differ in their beliefs or their fundamental approach to life are cautioned to take a step back; those who are “on the same page” are encouraged to move forward.

But couples who start out “on the same page” don’t always stay there. And couples that don’t start out that way aren’t necessarily doomed because of it.

Related: 10 Signs Of Relationship Compatibility

The real test lies in how each one handles a disagreement — and how much importance each one places on loving and respecting the other unconditionally.

And yes, personality does come into play here. But don’t make the mistake (that some do) of assuming that two personality types are “wrong for each other” because of certain traits that, according to an online test, make them incompatible.

People aren’t robots, and personality types are more fluid and adaptable than you might think.

Do we have love compatibility?

If you want to know whether you and your love interest are compatible, look for the following clues:

  • You encourage each other to develop your gifts and personal interests.
  • When you disagree about something important to you both, you respect each other’s need for space, as well as for patience, respect, and understanding.
  • You care more about loving and understanding each other than about winning debates.
  • You look for ways to speak the other’s love language.
  • When one of you suffers a setback, the other responds with compassion (i.e., no gloating, lectures, or self-centered monologues).
  • Though you may disagree on a number of things, your top priorities are in agreement.
  • You challenge each other to step outside your comfort zones, try new things, and seek out opportunities for growth and meaningful contribution.

Relationship Compatibility Test: Are Your Personalities a Love Match?

Wherever you are in your relationship, if you’re at least a little curious, go ahead and take the couple compatibility test, and keep an open mind.

Related: 75 Of The Best Questions For Couples To Build Closeness

If the questions surprise you or get you thinking, “Hm. I didn’t see that one coming,” don’t worry. This compatibility quiz is designed to get you thinking about your relationship in a way you might not have considered yet. And it never hurts to get a new perspective on your situation.

Answer the questions honestly to get the most helpful results. If you answer questions based on how you want things to be (or wish they were — or think they could be), your results won’t meet you where you are. Let your answers reflect your relationship as it is now, and don’t think ahead to what the test results might say, based on your honest answers.

Chances are, if you see your love interest as someone who makes you a better person, this test will reflect that — even if you’re both still a work in progress (and who isn’t?).

So, enjoy the test, and learn what you can from it to make your relationship even richer than before.

graphics cover of relationship compatibility test

Click image to download the Relationship Compatibility Test (PDF)

How compatible are you and your love partner? Take the Relationship Compatibility Test below:

Answer the following 10 questions by answering “most of the time” or “rarely.” Then check your score below to see how well you and your partner match up.

1. Are you and your partner equally punctual (or not punctual) and do you share the same values around timeliness?

___Most of the time ____Rarely

2. Do you and your partner communicate in similar ways and feel you can talk things through easily with mutual understanding?

___Most of the time ____Rarely

3. Are you and your partner on the same page when it comes to cleanliness and tidiness in your home?

___Most of the time ____Rarely

4. Do you and your partner have similar values and goals around spending and saving money?

___Most of the time ____Rarely

5. Do you and your partner share the same sexual needs and desires and agree on the frequency of sex?

___Most of the time ____Rarely

6. Do you and your partner share the same daily life priorities related to how you spend your time working, by yourself, and together as a couple?

___Most of the time ____Rarely

7. Do you and your partner share the same religious or spiritual beliefs and agree on how to practice those beliefs?

___Most of the time ____Rarely

8. Do you and your partner agree on how much time you'll spend with in-laws and other extended family?

___Most of the time ____Rarely

9. Do you and your partner have an equal commitment to working out relationship problems and being responsible for the on-going health of your relationship?

___Most of the time ____Rarely

10. Do you and your partner share common interests and hobbies that you enjoy doing together?

___Most of the time ____Rarely

If you answered 8 or more questions with “most of the time,” you and your partner are highly compatible and will have fewer stressors in your lives together that can disrupt your closeness and intimacy. Focus on improving communication and compromise in the areas where you differ to keep your connection solid and harmonious.

Related: 49 Of The Best Hobbies For Couples Who Want To Have Fun

If you answered 5-7 questions with “most of the time,” you and your partner are similar enough to have a successful relationship, but you'll need to work hard to support one another's differences and prioritize the health of the relationship so you can find workable compromises. Regular communication and mutual understanding are key.

Relationship Compatibility Test (Are Your Personalities A Love Match?). Click To Tweet

If you answered 4 or less questions with “most of the time,” you'll have some challenges ahead of you that can create ongoing stress and conflict. That doesn't mean you can't have a successful relationship, but you'll need to be diligent about communicating often and accepting one another's differences. You may need the support of a couple's counselor to help you navigate your differing values and attributes so that conflict doesn't weaken your bond.

What now?

I hope you enjoyed the test and learned something useful from it. May your relationship benefit from the insights you’ve gained, and may you and your intended help each other grow into the people you want to be.

We don’t get there alone, after all. The most effective catalysts for growth needed catalysts of their own along the way — people who challenged them to make the most of the personalities they were born with.

We’re naturally inclined to coast, but when we meet someone who encourages us to climb instead or to swim against the current, we’re more likely to do so — especially when we see the good to be gained. It’s harder to see the benefits of growth when no one is around to shake things up and show us how much better things could be.

I hope you’ve found someone you can grow with. And may your love and your potential for greatness influence everything you do today.

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