Is He Making Love To You Or Just Fooling Around? 21 Signs His Heart Is Truly In It

Being intimate in a new relationship is both exciting and confusing.

What do his actions and words in the bedroom say about his feelings for you?

Whether you’ve gone on just a few dates or you’ve been together for a while now, you know that you’re into him, deeply.

But, is he into you? 

There is a big difference between sex and love.

Sex is physically satisfying and something our bodies are designed to do.

Making love is different – it is both sex and an intimate trust between the two of you.

It can be hard to tell whether you’re making love with a man or simply having sex.

On the one hand, you want to give the relationship time to flourish, but on the other, you want to know if it will work out, so you don’t become heartbroken. 

21 Signs He Is Making Love to You

How do you know you’re making love? Maybe he’s said he loves you, or perhaps he hasn’t, but you know there is much more to love than simply saying it. You want to find out if his heart is genuinely in it. 

Look for these signs he’s making love to you and not leading you on. 

1. He sets the mood.

We’re talking about romance here. Making love with a man should involve lighting candles, kissing you passionately, or rubbing your feet.

A man who is in love with you will want to set the mood and ease into physical intimacy. It takes time and patience to get that fire burning, and if he wants to make love, he will put in the effort. 

2. He takes his time. 

He doesn’t rush things – either before intimacy or in the bedroom. If he moves too fast, he’s likely focused on one thing only: himself.

signs he is making love to you

If he moves slowly and is romantic, it’s clear he is setting the tone for love-making. He wants you to enjoy being with him as much as he loves being with you.  

3. He touches you – everywhere.

When your man takes the time to explore your body, he shows you that he’s looking for those areas that turn you on.

He’s showing you that your satisfaction is just as important as his. Lay back and let him caress every part of you and know that you are the one person he wants to be with.

4. He doesn’t mind switching it up.

You may think he’s just satisfying his fantasies when he tries various sexual positions with you. But his creativity could be his way of making love to you.

By switching it up, the two of you might find a new and exciting way to both feel pleasure together. Each of you might be able to get there on your own, but making love is about finding the right fit together.  

5. The location is not a problem.

Being with your man at your place, at his place, or on a random trip somewhere is not an issue. Making love is not restricted to a specific location, just a particular person.

If he can’t stop touching you no matter where you are, then he’s fallen for you and sees every location as an opportunity to show it.

6. He gives you that look and keeps looking.

You know that look. The moment you lock eyes and feel your whole body melt, you want to look away, but it feels too good.

Will he hold your gaze in those times of intimacy? And do his eyes say his heart is melting too? He cares about than just your body, and you can feel it deep in your soul. 

7. He asks and focuses on what you like.

If he wants to know what works for you to get in the mood or bring more pleasure to the bedroom, then it’s not just about him. When he cares enough about you to ask, he shows that he cares that you enjoy the experience just as much as he does.

8. He cuddles with you after.

The sex was great, and the two of you thoroughly felt the pleasure of being with each other. Now what?

Does he want to continue to hold you and bask in the afterglow, or is he up and off to the next thing on his list? 

Real love-making continues after physical intimacy, so if he stays to hold you, you can be sure he’s not just fooling around.

9. He stays over, often. 

When you can just lay with someone all night, your body sends you a message that this is comfortable and feels safe. His staying the night also sends the message that he’s emotionally connected to you.

If he’s unsure about his feelings, he won’t want to stay over, especially if you don’t have sex every time he’s there. 

10. He kisses you passionately.

Does he kiss you frequently during intimacy? It’s that passionate kissing during lovemaking that tells you his feelings are more than just physical. Many men find kissing deeply intimate, and continuing to do it during sex shows you that he is into is you. 

11. He tells you that he loves you.

You are already in bed together, and he says, “I love you.” This declaration is the clearest sign that he is making love to you. You might wonder if he’s being truthful, but why would he lie now that you’re already under the sheets?

If he says he loves you (bonus for whispering it up close to your ear), you should believe him and enjoy making love with him. 

12. He’s present, not distracted.

Think about how it is when the two of you are together at any time – but particularly in bed.

Is he fully present in the moment, or does he seem distracted and thinking about something else? If he’s focusing on you, taking his time, and locking eyes with you, this encounter isn’t just a physical quickie. 

13. You can talk freely during sex.

Let’s face it – sex is both physical and mental. If he’s open to speaking his feelings and desires during intimacy, and he responds to what you say, then he feels comfortable and safe with you.

When you just have sex, he may clam up and just get down to business. Speaking sensual and tender words during intimacy distinguish making love. 

14. You feel like you can be yourself.

When a guy is making love to you, he is with you because he loves who you are. Be cautious if you feel like you have to hide something each time you get together.

Making love involves being able to open up completely to your partner. If you’re uncomfortable being yourself, then the trust required for true love is not there. 


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15. There is no race to the finish line in the bedroom.

If you’re making love, then you accept whatever happens as part of the experience of being fully intimate with each other. You focus on the experience itself, not just the end game.

Having sex is just about fulfilling a biological need and making that the only goal.

If you find him racing along, either for you or himself, then it’s more about reaching the finish line than being together. 

16. He cares about you being comfortable. 

What works for him in the bedroom may not work for you. This situation might be the case no matter how much you try.

When a man is making love to you, your comfort is important to him, and he is willing to change to ensure your comfort. If you’re honest about what works, he will adapt easily.

17. He comes back to what he knows you like.

A guy who loves you makes each intimate encounter special. If your partner knows that particular spot and returns to it because he wants to please you, he is making love.

You shouldn’t have to ask for it every time. It is something he just knows and does for you. 

18. He gets emotional.

If your guy is a sensitive person, he may become overwhelmed with emotion during physical intimacy.

His deep feelings for you, combined with the rapture of bringing your bodies together, can make him tear up or show these profound feelings in his facial expressions or tender actions. There’s no doubt he is making love to you. 

19. You can laugh together. 

Laughter is an excellent sign that you are both comfortable. It’s nearly impossible for either of you to laugh during a sexual encounter if there is no deeper connection.

If you both can smile and laugh during periods of physical intimacy, there is much more chemistry and closeness between you.

20. Massages are frequent. 

Massages from your love partner are a caring form of intimacy and part of foreplay in lovemaking. It involves working hard to please your partner.

When he touches you for your pleasure, he shows how much he cares about you, especially if he’s taking his time. 

21. You feel it.

Love and sex are very different. Sex is a physical and instinctual act that our bodies are designed to do for a specific purpose.

Love is something you feel toward another person based on passion, attraction, and compatibility. Can you feel love from him? If you do, give yourself a break and stop overanalyzing everything. Just be with him and share the love. 

How Does a Man Feel When Making Love?

You know how you feel when making love with a man – that feeling of not wanting to be anywhere else or with anyone else in the world. It is a deep connection that is both emotionally and physically charged.

But, how does he feel? It can be hard to tell during the intensity of sex which may mask his genuine emotions. For most men, physical intimacy is the key to emotional closeness and helps them form a lasting attachment.

For men, making love involves a much more intimate connection around the trust you have created in the relationship.

His heart is racing with excitement, but he takes the time to create a pleasurable experience for both of you. Knowing that he pleases you and that you desire him is one of the most satisfying parts of your relationship for him.

When making love, the enjoyment for him is that you both enjoy the experience together, and he will show you that. 

Reading the Signs He Loves You When Making Love

Look through the signs he loves you when making love once more. Take the time to think about your relationship and even write down some thoughts.

Are there ways he has shown that he cares about you both in and out of the bedroom? 

If so, he is showing his love for you. It might just be different than you’ve experienced with past partners. Talk about it, get on the same page, and you will feel more at ease in a relationship than you have ever felt before. 

Is he in the mood for some love making? Find out the signs if he wants to make love to you or just joking around.