As your relationship progresses, your conversations with your partner can start to become mundane.
You might find that you only discuss where to go out to eat or the daily annoyances of the workplace.
For parents, the topic of their children can consume almost all of their discussions.
Don’t let your time with your partner focus on shallow, day-to-day topics. You can spark long and stimulating conversations with intimate questions to ask your partner.
The questions we've curated here aren't related to sexual intimacy but rather emotional intimacy. They can help you learn more about your views, wishes, dreams, best and worst moments, and what you need from each other emotionally.
The following intimacy questions will draw you closer together. You’ll strengthen your relationship through a much deeper understanding of what makes both of you tick.
Some of the questions might make you feel vulnerable, but that’s the moment when intimacy can blossom.
101 Intimate Questions for Couples
1. Do you remember the moment that you knew that you loved me?
2. What were you most afraid of as a kid?
3. What's your biggest fear as an adult?
4. Has anything seriously upset you in recent months?
5. When was the last time I made you feel appreciated?
6. What's a bad habit I have that bothers you?
7. What activity do you most enjoy doing with me?
8. Do you feel that you tend to be introverted or extroverted?
(Sidebar: If you'd like to learn to enhance your relationship, then I suggest checking out this book, which has 201 relationship questions that will build a deeper trust and intimacy with your loved one.)
9. If you could change one big decision in life, what would it be?
10. What's your favorite memory from our relationship so far?
11. What's the worst thing that ever happened to you that you haven't told me about?
12. How can I be a better partner?
13. What do I do right in our relationship?
14. What do I do that makes you feel loved?
15. What do you do when you're trying to show me your love?
16. When you're upset, do you want me to talk to you or give you space?
17. How often do you choose to put my needs ahead of yours?
18. If you were in trouble with the law, would you tell me?
19. What was the funniest thing you ever saw me do?
20. What's a talent that you would like to develop in yourself?
21. Tell me something that you admire about me?
22. What personal accomplishment are you most proud of?
23. Do you have any big regrets from your youth?
24. Has anyone ever broken your heart?
25. What is something that intimidates you?
26. If money were no object, where would you like to go on vacation with me?
27. Is there anything that I helped you learn about yourself?
28. What would be the best thing about growing old with me?
29. What aspect of our relationship makes you the happiest?
30. Tell me something that has changed about your outlook over the past 5 years?
31. Which is most important: financial security or happiness?
32. What is your most important moral value?
33. What would be unforgivable to do in our relationship?
34. Should spouses care about each other more than their children?
35. What book or film had the biggest influence on you?
36. What do you think happens to people after death?
37. Do you think that you possess free will?
38. What are you most grateful for in our relationship?
39. Have you learned any relationship lessons since becoming my partner?
40. Do you ever feel vulnerable around me?
41. What do you think my insecurities are?
42. Were you raised with any beliefs that you now reject?
43. If you could solve one big problem in the world, what would it be?
44. Could you take me off life support if my official medical directive authorized it?
45. Have you learned anything profound from me?
46. Has anyone ever told you that you were inspiring?
47. What should we be trying to achieve together as a couple?
48. Would you feel safe telling me an embarrassing secret from your past?
49. Have I ever done anything to inspire you?
50. What is something that I can do right now to improve your life?
51. Tell me about something bad that happened to you this month?
52. If a fire or flood threatened your home and your loved ones were safe, what material possession would you want to rescue?
53. Tell me something good that happened to you this month?
54. If you could, what life advice would you give your teenage self?
55. Do you view yourself as more of a nurturer or protector?
56. What skill would you like to acquire?
57. Is there anything that you can't do that you're embarrassed about?
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58. How have your priorities changed over the last 10 years?
59. Do you think that we should plan an adventure together?
60. Do you ever feel like you can read my mind?
61. Do you have any recurring dreams?
62. What career do you think would be the best fit for you?
63. If you only had a year to live, what would you want to do with your time?
64. What's the last thing that made you cry?
65. What three words would you use to describe me?
66. What three words would you use to describe yourself?
67. If you could go back in time, what would you want to witness firsthand?
68. What's the worst insult that anyone ever directed at you?
69. What’s the nicest compliment that you ever received?
70. Tell me something that you think is attractive about my personality?
71. What's a common behavior among people that you think is rude?
72. Do you think that your personality resists change or is open to it?
73. What's something romantic that I could do for you?
74. Would you want to know how you were going to die?
75. Do you think that we should go out more or stay home more?
76. Were you nervous when we started our relationship?
77. Does forgiveness make you feel less guilty?
78. How irritated do you get when people mispronounce words?
79. What's the most important thing that a parent can teach a child?
80. Is there anything I can do to make you feel more special?
81. Would you quit your job and move with me if I got an incredible career opportunity?
82. Am I ever hypocritical?
83. What do you think is the strongest part of our relationship?
84. What do you think is the weakest part of our relationship?
85. Do you like luxury gifts or practical gifts?
86. What are you most sensitive about concerning your appearance?
87. What's your earliest memory of me?
88. What are three things that we have in common?
89. Do I give you enough alone time or too much?
90. What is something that you worry about but know that you have no control over?
91. Is there anything going on right now that you'd like my advice about?
92. Which is most important in a relationship: true friendship or sexual attraction?
93. What's something that you have trouble accepting even though you know that it's true?
94. In what situations would you want me to lie for you?
95. Which do you assign more value to: gut instincts or rational thought?
96. Was there anything in your upbringing that you think messed you up?
97. Do you think that our relationship has helped you increase your emotional skills?
98. What's something about me that is totally different from yourself but you love anyway?
99. Tell me about a big setback in your life?
100. What’s something that you would never change about yourself?
101. What's something about me that you hope never changes?
Keep the Conversation Going
You don’t have to ply each other with these intimacy questions all at once. That might be exhausting because many of them delve into your past fears, future aspirations, and most cherished values.
Feelings of vulnerability may make you or your partner shy about answering, but that’s normal. Building a strong bond as a couple comes from recognizing and even appreciating vulnerability.
Many times, people want to portray themselves to their partners as strong and capable. Still, the healthiest relationships come from loving people as complete packages that include their quirks and opinions.