19 Brutal Signs He’s Pretending To Love You That Will Break Your Heart

You love him so much your heart hurts. You’d do anything for him.

But does he feel the same way, or is he pretending to love you?

You’re getting vibes that maybe he doesn’t.

Sometimes it can be hard to tell if the person we love genuinely loves us back.

Guys may pretend to love us for selfish or inexplicable reasons. 

When you invest your time, energy, and emotions into a relationship, it’s heartbreaking to realize the man you adore was never really in love with you.

If you’re seeing signs he's faking his love for you, brace yourself – some of these signs may be brutal and difficult to accept. 

But knowing the truth is crucial to make informed decisions about your future.

Why Would Someone Pretend to Love You?

It may be hard to imagine that someone would pretend to love you.

After all, love is supposed to be genuine and sincere. 

However, some people have ulterior motives for feigning love.

These reasons can vary from person to person and situation to situation, but they all have one thing in common: self-gain.

Here are some common reasons why someone would pretend to love you.

  • To avoid loneliness: Some people may pretend to love you because they fear being alone. They may not feel a deep connection with you but are afraid of being single and may see you as a convenient option.
  • To manipulate you: Others fake loving you to manipulate you into doing what they want. They use your emotions against you to get what they want, such as money, sex, or power.
  • To impress others: While this may sound strange, some people may pretend to love you to make themselves look better. They use you or your relationship to make themselves look more successful, attractive, or desirable.
  • To gain favor: Others might fake love to gain favor with someone important in your life. It could be a powerful parent, a boss, or even a friend.
  • To avoid confrontation: Some people may pretend to love you because they don't want to hurt your feelings or face the consequences of breaking up with you. They may stay in a relationship even if they're not truly in love with you.

19 Brutal Signs He Pretends to Love You

Does my boyfriend really love me? This is a tough but important question to ask yourself if you suspect your partner is using you. 

Here are some telltale signs that he's pretending to love you:

1. His Words Don't Match His Actions

One of the most obvious signs that your partner may be pretending to love you is when their words don't match their actions. They may say all the right things, but their actions tell a different story.

man talking to another woman on date Signs He's Pretending To Love You

For example, they may promise to spend more time with you but always seem to have an excuse when the time comes. They may also make grand declarations of love but never take steps to demonstrate their commitment to you.

When someone truly loves you, their words and actions will be in sync, and they will do everything they can to show you how much they care.

2. He Doesn't Introduce You as His Partner

Being in a relationship gives one a sense of pride and accomplishment, and most people are eager to show off their significant other.

If your partner always introduces you as just a “friend” or doesn't mention you at all when talking to friends and family, this is a major red flag.

He may be ashamed of you or not feel a strong connection to you. Either way, this is a sign that He isn’t fully invested in the relationship.

3. He Doesn't Make Time for You

Time is one of the most valuable gifts we can give someone. And when someone loves you, they will try to spend as much time with you as possible.

If your partner always seems to be too busy or can never make time to see you, it could be a sign that they aren't as invested in the relationship as you are.

4. His Attention Fades in and Out

It is normal for couples to go through periods of both connection and disconnection. But if your partner's attention fades in and out constantly, it could mean that they are not truly invested in the relationship but instead just using it for their own benefit.

In such a case, his attention will usually come and go based on his needs. For example, he may be more attentive when he needs sex or money from you but disappear when he doesn't need anything.

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5. He Avoids Discussions about the Future

When someone loves you, they usually want to plan a future with you. This may include discussing marriage or children, shared goals, or where you want to be in five or ten years.

If he's evasive when you mention the future or refuses to discuss it all together, this could be a sign that they don't care about your relationship.

This is especially true if they seem to have no problem discussing other topics in their life, such as work or their hobbies.

6. His Body Language Is Off

One of the most telling signs is his body language. Even if he says all the right things, their nonverbal behavior can betray them and reveal his true feelings.

For instance, he may avoid physical contact or seem uncomfortable when you are being intimate, signifying a lack of emotional connection.

Additionally, he may avoid making eye contact, cross his arms or legs, or lean away from you during conversations. These subtle cues can reveal a lack of emotional connection and may signify that your partner is faking his love for you.

7. He Doesn't Show Any Signs of Jealousy

Jealousy is a natural emotion that everyone feels once in a while, and it's usually a sign of love when someone gets jealous of other potential suitors.

couple sitting on sofa emotions Signs He's Pretending To Love You

If your partner shows no signs of jealousy whatsoever, he may not care about you enough to feel threatened by other people.

It could signify he doesn’t love you as much as he claims to, or at least not in the way you deserve.

8. He Doesn't Open Up to You

True love is more than just having butterflies in your stomach when you think of the other person. It involves opening up and sharing your feelings, thoughts, hopes, and dreams.

This may come naturally for some guys, but for others, it can take a bit longer to feel comfortable enough to do this.

However, if your guy never opens up to you, even after months or years of dating, it may be a sign he's not truly in love with you.

9. He Never Puts Any Effort into the Relationship

This means that they don't make any plans, don't take you out on dates, don't bring you small gifts, and don't make any attempts to surprise or please you. They may also cancel plans at the last minute or be slow to respond to your texts or calls.

Essentially, they are not actively trying to build a strong and healthy relationship with you, which clearly indicates that their feelings may not be genuine.

10. Physical Intimacy is Always His Number One Priority

If a man is only interested in physical intimacy, he doesn't care about the emotional connection or the relationship. 

He sees you as an object to fulfill his needs and desires and is not invested in anything beyond that. 

He may pretend to love you to get what he wants, but his true feelings are revealed when he is not getting what he wants. This type of behavior can be emotionally devastating and make you feel used.

11. He Is Not Willing to Compromise

A healthy relationship involves a give and take, and if your partner is constantly putting his own needs and wants first without considering your feelings, it shows a lack of care and concern for your well-being.

Maybe your partner always expects you to change and adapt to his preferences without reciprocating. If so, he is not invested in the relationship and is only interested in getting his way.

12. He Never Apologizes

Apologizing is an integral part of relationships, and it's how partners show each other that they care and are sorry for any hurt they have caused.

If your partner refuses to apologize or make necessary changes even after being confronted with their behavior, this could be a sign that they don't actually love you.

13. He Openly Flirts with Other People

If your man is openly flirting with other people, it's a clear sign he's not taking the relationship seriously. And it doesn't matter if it's in person or online.

It's disrespectful and shows he doesn't think you're worth the effort of being faithful. He may tell you he loves you and is not interested in anyone else, but his actions say otherwise.

It's a sign that he's not as committed to you as he claims and will ultimately break your heart.

14. He Is Overly Critical of You

Criticism can be constructive when done correctly and with sensitivity; however, if your partner constantly puts you down or nitpicks every little thing, it is likely a sign of disrespect or deep-seated resentment.

No one deserves to be treated this way, especially by someone who supposedly loves them. This behavior is unhealthy and can damage your self-esteem and mental health.

If he is unwilling to acknowledge or address their overly-critical behavior, it is likely a sign that they don't truly love you.

15. He Has a Wandering Eye

If your partner has a wandering eye, they are constantly checking out other people, even when they are with you.

They may stare at other women in public or on social media, making you feel like you're not enough for them.

This behavior shows a lack of respect for you and your relationship, which suggests your man is not truly in love with you. A genuine lover will be fully present and focused on you, and they won't be distracted by others.

16. He's Distant and Unresponsive to Your Emotional Needs

This behavior could manifest in various ways, such as:

  • Not being there for you when you need him. 
  • Not listening to you when you talk about your feelings.
  • Not showing empathy or concern for your well-being.

If you feel like you're constantly trying to get his attention or affection, but he seems disinterested or detached, he's not invested in the relationship.

Communicating your feelings and needs with your partner to see if he's willing to change is essential. If he's not, then he doesn't really care.

17. He Doesn't Make an Effort to Be a Part of Your Life

If your partner is pretending to love you, he won't make an effort to be a part of your life. He won't show interest in your hobbies, work, or social circle.

He may avoid spending time with your family and friends and may not want to attend important events with you.

This lack of effort and interest shows that he is not invested in your relationship and is only going through the motions.

18. He Doesn't Initiate Physical Affection

If your partner never initiates physical contact, such as hugging, kissing, or holding hands, it suggests he's not genuinely in love with you.

Physical affection is a natural expression of love, and if your partner doesn't seem to desire it, maybe he's just not that into you.

He may also avoid physical contact because he's trying to keep his distance emotionally. Either way, it's not a good sign for the future of your relationship.

couple sitting on sofa man on computer signs he's pretending to love you

19. He Is a Chronic Cheat

If your partner has a history of cheating or is currently engaged in an affair, he doesn’t have the emotional maturity for the love you want. He’s not ready for a committed, healthy relationship.

Regardless of the reasons for his infidelity, this behavior shows that he is not loyal and doesn't honestly care about you or your feelings.

What to Do If You See the Signs He Is Forcing Himself to Love You 

If you notice that your partner is exhibiting some of the signs mentioned above, it may mean he's not in love with you and is forcing himself to stay with you. This situation can be difficult, but there are ways to cope and move on. 

Here are five things you can do if you find yourself in this situation.

1. Talk to Your Partner

If you are feeling uncertain about your relationship, it is important to communicate your concerns to your partner. Try to approach the conversation in a non-confrontational manner and express your feelings honestly. 

Ask your partner to be honest with you about their feelings, and be prepared to listen to their response, even if it’s difficult to hear.

2. Take Time for Yourself

Sometimes, taking a step back and focusing on yourself is the best thing to do. Spend time with your friends, pursue hobbies that make you happy, and practice self-care. 

Taking care of yourself can help you clarify your relationship while building your self-confidence.

3. Seek Support from Friends and Family

Talking to trusted friends and family about your feelings can be helpful. They can provide an objective perspective and offer support as you navigate this difficult situation.

4. Seek Professional Help

If you are struggling to understand your partner's feelings or behavior, consider seeking professional help. 

A therapist can help you understand and cope with the emotions that come up in such a situation and provide guidance as you decide what to do next.

5. End the Relationship

Once it's clear that your partner is not truly in love with you, it may be time to end the relationship. This can be a difficult decision, but it is important to remember that continuing a relationship based on false pretenses will never lead to true happiness.

Final Thoughts

If you see any of these signs, it's time to take a good, hard look at your relationship and ask yourself if this is the kind of love you want or deserve. 

You deserve someone who loves you unconditionally and wholeheartedly, not someone who is just pretending for their own benefit. 

Don't let yourself be fooled by empty words and false promises; only believe what is backed up by genuine actions.