You love your partner more than anything, and you want a happy, healthy relationship.
But sometimes, it’s just hard for you to communicate without things dissolving into an argument.
Couples, whether married or not, face many challenges when it comes to living together, but healthy communication should be front and center when resolving any challenges.
However, it is notoriously one of the most difficult parts of a relationship, and every couple can use some insights and instruction on how to do it effectively.
If you and your partner want to improve your communication, these 15 books have the expert answers to all of your questions.
- What Are The Benefits of Reading Relationship Communication Books?
- 15 Must-Read Communication Books for Couples
- 1. The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman & Nan Silver
- 2. Love & Respect For a Lifetime by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
- 3. Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson
- 4. Mindful Relationship Habits by Barrie Davenport and S.J. Scott
- 5. Communication Miracles for Couples by Jonathan Robinson
- 6. Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix & Helen LaKelly Hunt
- 7. The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
- 8. 201 Relationship Questions by Barrie Davenport
- 9. Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus by John Gray
- 10. The Relationship Cure by John M. Gottman & Joan DeClaire
- 11. Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler
- 12. Boundaries in Marriage by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
- 13. The Five Keys to Mindful Communication by Susan Gillis Chapman
- 14. 8-Week Couples’ Therapy Workbook by Jill Squyres Groubert
- 15. The Space Between by Harville Hendrix & Helen LaKelly Hunt
- Finding The Right Couples’ Communication Book For You
What Are The Benefits of Reading Relationship Communication Books?
In addition to improving communication, there are several other benefits of reading relationship communication books together.
These books are often written by celebrated couples’ counselors, coaches, and family psychologists who have helped countless couples improve their relationships.
Their expertise may also provide support in some other ways, including:
- Helping you and your partner identify patterns that lead to miscommunication or tension
- Learning to be more intimate and vulnerable with one another
- Learning new things about your communication styles
- Developing healthier habits related to communication
15 Must-Read Communication Books for Couples
If you’re looking for the perfect communication book for you and your partner, there are many on the market.
These 15 books include entries by the top couples’ counselors in the world.
1. The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman & Nan Silver
John Gottman and Nan Silver first published The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work in 1999. Since then, it has helped countless couples learn about addressing the fixable problems in their marriage through small changes every day.
The book outlines seven principles that Gottman says are the keystone of helping couples stay together.
These include seeking comfort in one another, nurturing your mutual affection, growing love maps, mutual influence, finding a shared purpose, defeating gridlock, and solving what can be solved.
Gottman also pinpoints four things to avoid while trying to solve your marriage problems: criticism, defensiveness, silence, and contempt.
2. Love & Respect For a Lifetime by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
Love & Respect For a Lifetime is an abridged version of Dr. Emerson Eggerichs’ book Love & Respect. This marriage-centered version includes tips for couples, both those who are struggling in their marriage and those who want to learn how to foster a happy and healthy relationship.
You can easily skim the book, as it has quick pages you can read alone or as a couple. Dr. Eggerichs is an expert in child and family ecology and is considered one of the foremost professionals in his field.
This simple book is a must-read for any couple looking to improve their relationship.
3. Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson
Psychologist and couples’ counselor Dr. Sue Johnson made waves with her book Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations For a Lifetime of Love.
The book covers how to talk about topics ranging from childhood trauma to disagreements to your sexual relationship — all in a way that is productive and healthy. Johnson’s book has been praised by many other leading couples’ therapists.
Hold Me Tight is your go-to rubric, illustrated with real-life examples from Dr. Johnson’s practice, for navigating difficult or scary conversations to leave you both feeling strengthened as a couple and as individuals.
4. Mindful Relationship Habits by Barrie Davenport and S.J. Scott
Too often, couples fall into relationship issues by forgetting to be mindful of each other — they are too distracted by the demands of life.
Davenport and Scott’s book helps couples foster habits to become more mindful of what they have in one another and their relationship, leading to an environment of intimacy and gratitude.
Though this sounds complicated, Davenport and Scott outline the basics in 25 simple practices that invite couples to grow their relationship one step at a time. You can make a considerable change in your marriage and your life through these small actions.
5. Communication Miracles for Couples by Jonathan Robinson
In his book Communication Miracles For Couples, Jonathan Robinson provides simple tips for improving your communication skills as an individual and a couple.
First published in 1997, this guide has been helping couples for more than a quarter century by providing rules for reducing arguments, increasing understanding, and feeling more accepted by your partner.
If communication is a challenge in your relationship — as in most — this book could be a lifesaver for you.
6. Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix & Helen LaKelly Hunt
Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt are two of the world’s most famous and respected couples’ counselors — and they are also married. They wrote Getting The Love You Want after experiencing the near-breakdown of their marriage, despite their successful careers helping other people.
The book follows 12 exercises for couples on how to express what they want in the relationship and how to provide for their partner’s needs.
Hendrix’s and LaKelly Hunt’s expertise comes from professional experience and a lifetime of working and living together as husband and wife.
7. The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages is undoubtedly one of the most well-known couples’ communication books ever.
This fascinating book explores the different ways that people respond to affection and what makes them feel loved: words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, physical touch, and gifts.
The Five Love Languages will help improve communication and teach you how to make your spouse feel authentically loved and appreciated, improving your intimacy and satisfaction in your relationship.
8. 201 Relationship Questions by Barrie Davenport
You might think that you know everything about your significant other, but the truth is that there is always more to learn.
Barrie Daveport’s book 201 Relationship Questions: The Couple’s Guide to Building Trust and Emotional Intimacy is about learning about your partner in ways you have never considered before. The guide is fairly straightforward: it includes more than 200 questions to ask one another, both about yourself and your relationship.
As you work through it together, you will learn new things about one another and gain a new appreciation for your partner’s unique personhood.
9. Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus by John Gray
John Gray’s book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus is possibly one of the most famous couples’ books ever, having sold more than 15 million copies since it was first published in 1992.
It is aimed toward helping heterosexual couples understand where the other might be coming from, as our experiences as men and women shape much of the way we communicate — and often, miscommunicate.
Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus is designed to help couples communicate more effectively and better understand one another’s perspectives.
10. The Relationship Cure by John M. Gottman & Joan DeClaire
John Gottman is one of the most prolific authors on the topic of healthy marriages, and his success speaks for itself. The Relationship Cure isn’t exclusively geared toward couples, but large sections are designed to help people strengthen their love relationships.
The book makes an extraordinary claim: you can fix your marriage by following five simple steps. He emphasizes the importance of “emotional connection” and how you bid with one another for that connection.
As you can imagine, his well-researched steps have helped thousands of couples address many issues preventing a loving, healthy connection.
11. Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler
Have you ever had a conversation with your significant other where you realized that what you were saying could make or break your future?
Crucial Conversations is designed to help you learn how to have these big conversations in a level-headed, empathetic, and logical way.
Humans tend to get emotional when these topics arise, but Patterson’s tactics will help you stay cool under pressure so you can make the right decisions about the things that matter the most, such as your relationship. It’s a useful skill and extends beyond the home and your family.
12. Boundaries in Marriage by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
For most people, relationships mean sharing everything you are. But that doesn’t mean there shouldn’t be boundaries in a marriage. In fact, these boundaries are the key to fostering healthy emotional intimacy with your spouse.
In this book by Henry Cloud and John Townsend, couples will explore the ten types of boundaries to employ in their relationship and how to begin doing so.
Couples might be surprised to learn they feel closer to their spouse and happier in their marriage as a couple and as individuals.
13. The Five Keys to Mindful Communication by Susan Gillis Chapman
.Susan Gillis Chapman explores how to communicate mindfully in your relationship to advocate for your needs while also navigating conflict.
These conversations are often fraught with emotion, and as a result, we communicate less effectively. Chapman’s rules are designed to help couples communicate with intention, especially during those stressful moments.
14. 8-Week Couples’ Therapy Workbook by Jill Squyres Groubert
Couples therapy might seem daunting for many people, but it doesn’t have to be. Dr. Jill Squyres Groubert offers the chance to explore it right in your own home in a way that you and your significant other can figure out together.
This workbook provides a step-by-step program in which you set the pace, working through it week by week.
Along the way, you will gain inspiration from other couples and find ways to work through your issues while regaining your love and respect for one another.
15. The Space Between by Harville Hendrix & Helen LaKelly Hunt
In The Space Between, couples’ counselors and married pair Harville Hendrix and LaKelly Hunt explore what it means to be an individual in a relationship and how fostering your individuality will lead to a healthier relationship.
You will also learn tips about respecting your partner’s identity outside your relationship and how the space between you can catalyze deeper intimacy.
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Finding The Right Couples’ Communication Book For You
Try a few different books to find the one that works best for you, your partner, and your communication issues. With some effort, you will find the one that helps you work together toward a healthier, more intimate relationship.