Has Your Boyfriend Lost Interest In You Sexually? 11 Reasons Why And What To Do About It

When a relationship is new, there is no shortage of passion and sexual tension.

Over time, as the initial excitement fades, you might notice you are having sex with your boyfriend less often.

This change is normal and to be expected.

However, there is likely a problem if you frequently find yourself thinking, “He doesn’t touch me sexually anymore!”

If your boyfriend is always disinterested or even completely avoids sex with you, that is something you need to address.

6 Signs Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Want You Sexually

It’s essential to have open communication in any relationship, especially when it comes to the intimate bond between two people.

Physical intimacy is just one facet of a romantic relationship, but if you’re sensing a decline in your boyfriend’s sexual interest, it might be cause for concern. 

Here are some signs that he may not desire you sexually:

  • Distance during physical moments: If he frequently pulls away from hugs, kisses, or other affectionate touches, this might indicate a decreased interest in physical intimacy.
  • Avoids initiating intimacy: He seldom or never takes the lead in initiating sex, or he constantly has an excuse when the topic comes up.
  • Increased focus on other activities: If he suddenly prefers watching TV, working out, or even doing chores over spending intimate time with you, it could be a red flag.
  • Lack of communication about sex: When couples don’t discuss their sexual needs, desires, and boundaries, it can point to waning interest or discomfort.
  • Frequent rejection: While it’s okay for either partner to not be in the mood occasionally, consistent rejection can be a clear sign of dwindling sexual interest.
  • Changes in compliments and verbal affirmations: If he used to shower you with romantic and affectionate words but now remains quiet or neutral, he might not be feeling the same sexual attraction.

Understanding these signs can help open the door to important conversations. Addressing the issue directly and understanding each other’s needs will pave the way for a healthier and more fulfilling relationship.

Why Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Want You Sexually

You might feel like your relationship is doomed if your boyfriend doesn’t want you sexually anymore, but that isn’t true.

There are so many factors that contribute to a decreased sex drive, and none of them are necessarily your fault.

The following are possible reasons why your boyfriend has lost interest in your sex life:

  • He is struggling mentally due to stress, anxiety, or depression.
  • He’s feeling unsure about your relationship, or there is an unresolved issue that’s bothering him.
  • He simply has a lower sex drive than you, and now that the relationship isn’t so new, it’s becoming more apparent.
  • He feels self-conscious about his body or is unconfident about his performance in the bedroom.

My Boyfriend Doesn’t Seem Interested in Me Sexually Anymore: 11 Reasons He’s Lost Interest

You’re frustrated and constantly thinking, “He doesn’t make me feel wanted sexually!”

Before taking out your frustrations on him, consider these possible reasons why your boyfriend has lost interest.

1. He is overly stressed from work.

Don’t underestimate how much external stress can have on your man’s sex drive. Perhaps he received a new promotion or has been putting in extra hours at work.

woman sitting in bed boyfriend is not interested in me sexually anymore

He probably doesn’t have much energy left for sex if this is the case. When he gets home at the end of the day, all he wants is to put his feet up and relax on the couch. It’s nothing personal, so give him time to adjust to his new workload.

2. He is suffering from a mental health issue.

Has your boyfriend seemed unlike himself lately? Maybe you’ve noticed he has been withdrawn emotionally as well as sexually.

If so, he might be suffering from anxiety or depression, which can put a huge damper on his desire for you. Untreated mental health issues can cause a strain in your relationship, so encourage him to visit a doctor to get the help he needs.

3. He is unhappy with the state of your relationship.

When the two of you have unresolved issues, your boyfriend will likely avoid sex with you because he feels unsatisfied with your relationship.

It’s difficult for him to get turned on when he is questioning whether or not you two will even last. If you notice a sudden decrease in sex, maybe bigger issues in your relationship need to be worked on.

4. He has performance anxiety.

Maybe your boyfriend feels like he’s unable to please you. Believe it or not, this can significantly affect a man’s desire to have sex. He might think you’re only having sex with him out of obligation and aren’t truly enjoying yourself.

He wants to avoid disappointing you as the woman he loves. It’s easier for him to avoid sex entirely than to face feelings of failure if he can’t make you orgasm.

5. He doesn’t feel confident about his body.

Women aren’t the only ones who face self-esteem issues. Perhaps your boyfriend is struggling with his body image. 

He compares himself to other men in your life and feels inadequate. He might be questioning whether or not you even find him attractive. Giving him compliments and putting in the effort to show you find him sexy might be all he needs to get excited about you again.

6. He feels unwanted or unappreciated.

If you aren’t meeting your boyfriend’s emotional needs, then he may not feel a desire to be intimate with you.

Maybe he feels you are too demanding of him and is exhausted trying to meet your expectations. Or, you’re constantly nagging him over minor things while not appreciating all of the things he does for you.

7. He has been getting his needs taken care of elsewhere.

It can be hard to hear, but if your boyfriend’s sex drive suddenly plummets, he might be getting his needs taken care of elsewhere.

It could just be a habit of watching too much porn that has gotten out of control. But, you should also consider the possibility he’s cheating on you, especially if you’ve noticed a personality change in him lately.

8. He naturally has a low sex drive

It’s normal to have sex more often at the beginning of a relationship. After you’ve been together for a while, intimacy tends to taper off a bit.

Generally, this period is when you get to know each other’s typical sex drives. It’s natural for some people to desire more frequency than others. However, you need to consider the possibility you’re incompatible if your boyfriend has a much lower drive than you do.

9. He has a physical issue he can’t help.

Before you jump to any conclusions, consider maybe your boyfriend is dealing with a physical issue preventing him from having sex with you.

While more common for older men, younger guys can still deal with these problems. If this is the case, he should see a doctor to diagnose and treat the issue.

10. He Has Experienced Some Recent Trauma

Trauma can profoundly impact a person’s emotional and psychological well-being, leading to symptoms such as anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

When someone experiences trauma, their focus may shift to coping with and recovering from it, leaving little mental or emotional energy for other areas of their life, including their sex life. They may also experience feelings of shame or guilt, which can further inhibit their sexual desire.

Moreover, trauma can lead to a disconnection from one’s body and emotions, making it challenging to engage in sexual activities. Your boyfriend may feel numb, disconnected, or dissociated from his body, making it difficult for him to experience pleasure or connect with you sexually.

11. Your Emotional Connection is Broken

This might seem very strange, especially because we’re told that men don’t associate sex with emotions.  However, many men have a strong emotional connection with their partners that fuels sexual desire.

Unfortunately, when this connection is lacking, it can be challenging for him to feel interested in you sexually.

Maybe he’s too anxious or insecure to express his feelings towards you, making it hard for him to feel comfortable enough to be intimate. It could also be that you two have drifted apart, and he’s unsure if he can rekindle the spark between you two.

Whatever the case may be, both of you need to talk about this openly and honestly so that you can bridge the gap and get back on track.

reasons my boyfriend does not want to have sex with me

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How Do I Tell My Boyfriend That I Don’t Feel Wanted?

Sexual satisfaction plays a vital part in a healthy and happy relationship. If you consistently feel unwanted and it’s damaging your confidence, it’s time to take action.

So, here’s what to do when you don’t feel desired by your boyfriend.

The best way to tell him is at a time when you’re both relaxed, and he doesn’t have a lot on his plate. You absolutely don’t want to bring this up directly before or during an intimate moment. That’s a sure way to kill the mood!

Instead, broach the topic in a neutral setting. Be honest about your feelings and give specific examples.

For example, has he been rejecting all of your advances lately? Have you noticed he rarely touches you, but you catch him staring at other women?

Make sure your boyfriend knows you still love him, but you are unsatisfied sexually and want to solve the problem together. Stay calm and allow him time to express his concerns as well.

How Can I Get My Boyfriend Interested in Me Again Sexually?

Just because your boyfriend is disinterested in you sexually now doesn’t mean it will last forever.

Wondering how to put an end to his dry spell? The following are some ways you can bring the passion back into your relationship until he can’t keep his hands off you:

  • Address any unresolved issues in your relationship: If there are communication issues or unresolved conflicts, your boyfriend may not feel emotionally connected to you, making it difficult for him to feel sexually attracted to you. So by addressing any unresolved issues you have, you can improve the emotional connection between the two of you and make it easier for him to feel attracted to you again.
  • Spice things up in the bedroom: Is there something he’s always wanted to try that would bring the excitement back? Whatever it is, now is the perfect time to give it a go! Surprise him by taking charge and suggesting that you try something new or even invite him to join you on a sexy lingerie shopping spree.
  • Surprise him with a romantic gesture: As women, we aren’t the only ones who can appreciate receiving flowers or special candy! Men also like to be romanced occasionally, so why not surprise your man with a romantic gesture? Whether you write him a love letter or buy him his favorite chocolates, a small token of your affection could be just what he needs to reignite the flame between you two.
  • Give him compliments: Men don’t receive enough compliments, so make sure your guy knows how much you appreciate him by giving him compliments and expressing why you love him. This will be incredibly impactful if your boyfriend feels unconfident in his own skin. When giving compliments, focus on the physical aspects, such as his body, style, or eyes. Be confident and show off your body: Men are naturally more drawn to women who feel comfortable in their own skin.
  • Initiate more often:  Sometimes, all it takes is a little bit of initiative on your part to get him interested again. Show him that you want to be intimate and take charge by initiating more often. Whether through flirting or giving him a sultry look, your man will know you’re on the same page and will be more than ready to show you his passion again.
  • Put more effort into your physical appearance: Surprise him with a wardrobe change or maybe try a new sexy makeup look. You can even change your hair to show him you’re serious about reigniting the spark between you two.
  • Don’t nag him over small things. If your boyfriend feels you are too demanding, this will put a damper on his sex drive. But when you stop nagging him over small things, he may feel more relaxed and comfortable around you, which can lead to an increase in his sex drive. Additionally, showing appreciation and gratitude for the things he does can also go a long way in strengthening your relationship and improving your intimacy.

What You Should Never Say or Do If You See the Signs He Doesn’t Want You Sexually

If you notice that your partner doesn’t want you sexually, there are certain things you should avoid saying or doing to prevent making the situation worse.

Here are some examples:

  • Never pressure or guilt trip him into having sex: Guilt-tripping him will only make him feel more uncomfortable and resentful towards you. It can lead to emotional distance and a breakdown of trust, making your man less likely to initiate or engage in sexual activities with you in the future.
  • Don’t assume that his lack of desire is about you: There could be many reasons why your partner isn’t interested in sex, and it may have nothing to do with you personally. Maybe he’s just not in the mood, or he’s going through some stress in his life that has nothing to do with you. Don’t take it personally until you have an honest conversation with him about this.
  • NEVER make negative comments about his body: If there is an issue with his physical appearance, it’s best to approach the topic delicately and with compassion. Making comments about his body will only damage his self-esteem and make him feel less attractive.
  • Don’t withhold affection or love as a form of punishment: Silent treatment, passive-aggressive behavior, or any other form of emotional withholding can worsen the problem and strain your relationship. It will only create a cycle of resentment and emotional distance. Instead, try to talk to your partner and work together to find a solution.  
  • Don’t avoid the issue: Assuming your partner’s lack of desire is temporary and will take care of itself with time won’t help. Ignoring the problem won’t make it go away, so it’s essential to approach the issue with an open mind and be willing to talk about it. But ensure to do so in a non-judgmental and compassionate way.

If you keep thinking, “He doesn’t get turned on by me anymore,” don’t give up hope. Yes, it’s hurtful when your boyfriend doesn’t want to be intimate with you, but it doesn’t automatically mean your relationship is over.

With a bit of work and mutual understanding, you can bring the passion back into your relationship. Dry spells don’t last forever!

What could be the reason your boyfriend has lost his interest in sex? Read this post and find out why your boyfriend has lost his interest in you sexually.