Maybe you've been called “dry,” or perhaps you're looking to widen your social circle.
Whichever the case, you're interested in cultivating a warm personality.
How's it done?
What are the traits of a warm personality?
We've got the answers and a handy how-to guide.
So sit back, grab your favorite beverage, and let's do a deep dive into the ins and outs, ups and downs of this personality type.
By the end, you'll be an expert!
- What Does It Mean to Have a Warm Nature?
- 13 Endearing Warm Personality Traits
- How to Be a Warmer Person
What Does It Mean to Have a Warm Nature?
A 2013 study found that people perceived as warm were also seen as less egocentric. Interestingly and notably, they also scored higher on the extraversion scale.
Warm and warm-hearted personalities are not the same. The latter tend to be genuinely kind but aren't always outwardly approachable.
Conversely, people can be friendly but not empathetic or kind.
So what, exactly, does it mean to have a warm personality?
- You're outwardly kind to people
- You go out of your way to make people feel comfortable
- People commonly describe you as having a warm demeanor.
- Friends and family rely on you for support and advice.
- People find it easy to speak with you and open up.
13 Endearing Warm Personality Traits
A warm person can be many things. Some are admirable; others aren't. Yet they tend to share certain characteristics — some authentically and others deceptively.
Correctly reading a warm personality takes at least an intermediate level of insight — because everything isn't always as it appears on the surface.
1. Cheerful and Chipper
Ostensibly, warm people are often cheerful and chipper. They see the glass half full and are usually ready with a big smile to cheer up someone's day.
An excess of cheerfulness can be annoying and not engaging, so be careful not to overdo it.
2. Generationally Aware
Authentically warm people care about others and generations beyond their own — even if they don't have kids. They're enthusiastic environmental stewards who always look for ways to make life better for everyone, not just themselves.
Furthermore, genuinely warm people tend to embrace people from all walks of life and don't expect everyone to walk their exact path.
Have you ever had someone in your life you could call or text, no matter the time or place, and they'd be there for you within minutes?
They may not be able to fly to your side, but they're always a click away and have your emotional back. Authentically warm people never chastise their friends for being too “needy,” nor are they overly concerned about appearances.
4. Protective and Loyal
Warm and soft may be complementary, but they aren't synonyms, and many people with friendly personalities are also strong and fierce. The mix of qualities makes them loyal and protective, viciously so when necessary.
They're also the folks who will pamper you when you need a pick-me-up, and they'll always be happy for you when your life is going well — even when their lives aren't.
Genuinely warm people are self-aware and don't take themselves too seriously. They can easily laugh at themselves and have no problem identifying when they've messed up or acted like an asshole.
Self-awareness isn't easy to cultivate. It takes time, patience, and the kind of self-actualization work that will leave you feeling crummy (when done correctly).
So it follows that warm folks have likely been through it and back. No, their journey may not look like yours; regardless, they've probably put in the work they needed to reach a state of self-awareness.
6. Deceptive and Deceitful
We hate to be cynical, but “warmth” isn't always genuine, and it's one of the easier behaviors to emulate convincingly.
Manipulative people regularly leverage social cues considered “friendly” and “welcoming” to shuffle people around the proverbial deck unwittingly.
Warm personalities are easy to imitate, and ne'er-do-wells take advantage of that fact.
7. Respectful of Animals
Warm-personality people typically have a special bond with animals. Although many do, they don't need to “love” them, but they almost always respect them.
Kind, compassionate people understand that all species are exceptional in their own ways.
They may not be vegans or pet people, but they're also not the type of people who only concern themselves with human wants and needs.
Generosity isn't just about giving away material goods and assets — (although that counts); it's also about being generous of spirit.
You don't need to have tons of money to give away to be helpful. All you need is to be there for people in need.
Generous people don't turn their backs on friends who are navigating difficult times. They don't cut off friendships after discovering someone has a mental health condition.
They're always willing to lend a hand and offer encouraging advice when asked.
Genuinely warm people possess these qualities — but they also know how to draw boundaries and don't burn themselves out by perpetually tending to other people's problems.
Warm people aren't quick to judge books or people by their covers. They're usually more concerned about a person's kindness quotient than any material measure.
They welcome everyone into their fold and usually trust people until given a reason not to.
Warm people don't care too much about popularity, and they'd rather spend time with nice folks over status-struck people.
Individuals who are warm but lack confidence may develop a people-pleasing problem. Since they're desperate to be liked, they risk crossing the butt-kissing line.
Once warm people recognize their lack of self-esteem, they usually get right on it and snap out of this behavior.
In some ways, warm people need others around to feel their best. After all, they derive pleasure from being helpful to others and getting to know them. As such, they tend to be sociable.
Please don't read us wrong, many shy-but-warm people walk the Earth, and they're not necessarily social butterflies.
However, they usually can get on fine in group environments. Sometimes, other neurodivergent hurdles can also affect the situation.
As we've mentioned, authentically mature people have often been through the wringer and done the work. They've seen things and learned many hard lessons. As such, they tend to be wise.
Their maturity is what makes them great people from whom to seek advice. They won't tell you what you want to hear, but they will impart the truth in a supportive and comforting way.
Though it's not as common as the kind-hearted variety, some warm people can be very superficial.
Since warmth is easy to emulate, some people fake it in the hopes of people not being able to see the “true” them, which is usually more self-centered.
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How to Be a Warmer Person
Are you interested in turning up the temperature on your personality or adding a dabble of charisma to your life? We've got a few ideas to try on for size.
1. Ask Questions
If you want to come across as warmer, ask more questions. Inquiries are an excellent way to strike up a conversation; plus, people who are good at it can bring other people into the fold and better steer conversations.
Being a good conversationalist also puts people at ease, which is another great skill to foster — personally and professionally.
2. Work on Self-Esteem
As mentioned above, self-awareness is part of being warm. So if you want to raise your personality's temperature, dive into self-esteem work.
Try doing self-acceptance journaling and other mindfulness and meditation exercises that encourage self-exploration.
Don't, however, mistake arrogance for confidence and self-esteem. Broadly speaking, self-confident people firmly anchor their humility in their weaknesses and are more likely to appreciate that everyone has their strong and fault-filled parts.
Arrogant folks see themselves as “better” than others and don't acknowledge their weak points.
3. Active Listener
Do you know someone who's always consulting their phone mid-conversation?
Or you have to tell them something 378 times before they remember (unless it's about them; then they always remember). These are passive listeners — and they qualify as terrible listeners.
You'll need to master the art of active listening to become more charismatic. How's that done?
- Focus on what the other person is saying.
- If your thoughts wander, gently pull them back to the topic at hand. Meditation is excellent practice for this.
- Offer non-verbal cues — smiling, nodding, and eye contact — so your discussion partner can tell you're engaged in what they're saying.
- Ask relevant questions that signal engagement and interest.
Being an active listener can significantly improve your personal and professional relationships. As such, it's worth the effort to learn.
4. Demonstrate Grace
Life coaches, gurus, therapists, and other self-development authors talk a lot about confidence and esteem, but grace is rarely discussed — and it should be.
Granted, defining grace secularly isn't easy, but it does exist. It's that feeling that sweeps over you when you realize you needn't always be correct or that things not going precisely to plan isn't the end of the world.
It's that sense of humanity that overtakes you upon choosing to give people a pass rather than clinging to a grudge.
People with grace assume the best about others, try to remain open-minded, and give people leeway, understanding that life is difficult for everyone and nobody is perfect.
Developing a capacity for grace can warm up one's personality. Plus, it's a beautiful way to live life.
5. Start and End on a Positive Note
Here's an interesting fact about human nature: People tend to remember the beginning and the end of things — conversations, concerts, and sentences. It's a well-documented phenomenon.
So if you want to leave a good impression, start the discussion on a high note and end on one. It's an easy trick that can make a big difference.
6. Smile Slowly
Try this exercise:
- Close your eyes.
- First, think about the smile of a crooked salesperson. How quickly does their face snap into place? Pretty quickly, right?
- Next, think about someone who genuinely smiles upon seeing someone they're happy to see or hearing something kind or complimentary. Their smiles tend to happen slower, in rhythm with the welcome realization.
Slower smiles come across as more sincere than the quick, phony flash of a greasy mountebank. So if you want to learn how to come across more genuine and warm, learn to smile slowly.
And don't forget to engage your eyes when you smile, or as Tyra Banks would advise: “SMIZE!”
7. Shine an Appropriate Light on Them
Not everybody likes to be the center of attention, but the overwhelming majority of folks want to be seen in a flattering light.
If you wnt to be perceived as kinder and warmer, try to make people feel seen.
Ask questions that reveal their vantage point and allow them to share their views and opinions without feeling threatened or forced.
Genuinely warm people are usually a positive force, and there are ways to heat your demeanor. The key, however, is always authenticity.
People who are their true selves almost always come off as warm — even when they're a bit dry around the edges.
Be yourself, and good things are bound to follow.