You’re getting to know someone long-distance. And you’re both determined to stay connected and to deepen the relationship.
But sometimes it’s harder to think of what to talk about.
You call each other, text each other, and maybe you video chat a few times each week.
So, having something to talk about is essential.
That’s why we’ve made this list of 67 fun long-distance relationship questions to ask each other.
Keep these handy, and you’ll never be at a loss for words.
How Do You Keep a Long Distance Conversation Interesting?
Long-distance relationships take work. Here are some ideas to spice up your connection and keep the relationship strong.
- Add Details: Giving details about your day-to-day life paints a picture. So pay attention to the people you interact with during the day and note any funny, admirable, or other notable things.
- Be Funny: We get it: telling people to “be funny” sounds overly general. Of course, people try to be funny! But when getting to know someone far away, make an extra effort. You can learn to be witty, and it can help keep the conversation engaging and exciting.
- Remember Conversations: Try not to talk about the same things repeatedly — unless you enjoy a shared hobby about which you’re both passionate.
- Schedule Appropriately: Sure, you’re busy, and there are only so many hours in a day. And sometimes you have to fit in conversations when you can — especially if your friend/partner is on the other side of the globe in a different time zone. But do your best not to schedule conversations when you have a million other things on the go and will be pulled in a million different directions.
- Be Chill: A big part of long-distance romance is letting each other have lives and not expecting the other person to be on-call for your calls, and vice versa. The easiest way to sour a long-distance relationship is to be hyper-jealous and controlling.
The Best Ways to Use These Relationship Questions for Long-Distance Relationships
Navigating a long-distance relationship takes grace, planning, and patience.
So let’s review a few guidelines for making the ride smoother.
- Don’t ask questions about children, marriage, or long-term plans initially. Give it time. Getting to know someone via digital devices takes a tad longer.
- If the person you’re getting to know lives in a different country or is from a different culture, be mindful and thoughtful of that fact. Learning about their way of life is the right move.
- Establish times to talk that are convenient for both of you. This can be difficult if you’re in different time zones, so prepare to be flexible.
- LDR relationships are challenging. Being mindful about the experience can help keep things in perspective.
67 Long-Distance Relationship Questions to Ask Your Significant Other
Try any of these fun questions to ask your significant other the next time you meet online or over the phone. Share the whole list of questions with him or her, so you can take turns prompting the other.
How will we know it’s time to close the distance between us? Talking about the future together is a bonding experience; this question provides insight into how the other person feels about the relationship.
What can we do to prepare for living in the same city in the near future? Planning for something good is invigorating. It’s also an excellent way to suss out the organizational skills of your long-distance partner.
What more can we do to stay close while living apart? Save this for when the relationship gets to a serious point. In other words, this is not a conversation to broach a couple of weeks in when you’re still getting to know each other.
How often do we commit to seeing each other? It’s a go. The relationship is full-steam ahead. So, establish a schedule.
What is the best way to handle the costs of traveling to see each other? Discussing finances is important in an LDR because you need to have open and honest conversations about how often you’ll be able to see each other.
How should we handle it if one of us feels jealous or insecure? Jealousy is bound to rear its green head in LDRs. It’s natural. So it’s wise to talk about how to handle it.
Where will we be in this relationship five years from now? This is another question for when the relationship is in full drive. Also, don’t ask this unless you have an answer, too.
What will ruin our relationship? In any relationship — long distance or not — establishing dealbreaker boundaries makes sense if you’re serious.
What will keep us happily together for years to come? Will you be apart for years or months? Do you want to be monogamous? What will make you happy will be dependent on those answers.
What will be the early warning signs that our relationship is in trouble? Tackle this question if you and your partner are both analytical.
What about my voice or communication style makes you want to spend less time with me? When you’re not always together, it’s vital to be clear about your communication style.
What are your deepest dreams and desires for yourself and for us? Pay attention to their answers. Notice whether their dreams align with yours.
What is the best way to share difficult or upsetting information with you? Everyone deals with unwelcome information differently, and knowing how to break unsettling news is essential when in an LDR.
How can we put our relationship first so that it stays healthy and happy? Be careful with this question. Life is challenging enough, and an LDR can complicate things further. As such, it may not always be able to come first at every moment. So only break this out if the situation is at an inflection point.
What personal goals do you have that you’d like me to help you achieve? Working toward goals together is a hallmark of a healthy relationship.
How can we help each other be the people we want to be? Before diving into this LDR question, you must first determine the person you want to be.
What do you think our biggest potential area of conflict might be? Make sure not to create problems where none exist.
How can we proactively address this area of conflict? If there is a potential conflict, discuss preventative measures before things go south.
How do you feel about me being friends with someone of the opposite sex? The answer to this question could reveal a lot, and depending on your worldview may be a red flag.
What makes you feel jealous? Nobody wants to be a jealous person — but we all are to some degree. It’s part of the human condition. So why not be honest with each other about it!?
What topics of conversation trigger angry or bad feelings for you? Nobody’s life is perfect. We all carry around some amount of pain. Since you have limited time with your LD partner, the last thing you want to do is unintentionally say something triggering that sours the mood.
When do you feel the most vulnerable? Vulnerability can masquerade as annoyance or anger. As such, it’s good to know your partner’s soft points so you don’t misinterpret their emotions.
Do you feel safe sharing your vulnerabilities with me? If not, why? Some people were raised in hyper-stoic environments, so you may need to also define what vulnerability means to each of you.
How can we have more fun together? Do some prep work and have some ideas on hand as well.
Is there anything making you unhappy in our relationship right now? If so, how can we address it? Don’t constantly ask this question. It can get annoying. But if things are usually great and turn sour out of the blue, just ask.
What makes you laugh the most? Humor and laughing feel so good. Have a conversation about it!
What is your idea of the perfect date night with me? Does your vision match theirs? Are they radically different or shockingly similar?
If we could both be in a movie together, which movie would you want to be in? Would it be one that’s already made, or do either of you have another vision?
What’s the last book you read and really enjoyed? If your partner has a favorite book, a special-edition, hardcover version is an excellent gift idea.
If we could both have the same superpower, what would you want it to be? Don’t stick to the old tropes. Get creative!
If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to? Don’t forget to follow up with a “Why?”
How important is it to you that we both agree on whether we want kids? If you’re on the family track and that ‘ole biological clock is tick-tocking away, let them know you’re looking for a commitment from someone who wants children. However, do not ask this early on. It’s a question for when you’ve agreed that your “situation” is serious.
What is one song that can always improve your mood? Is there also one that immediately catapults them into a bad mood?
What color do you most identify with right now? If they don’t have an answer, introduce them to research proving that hues affect our moods.
What song or songs remind you of me? Don’t get offended if they don’t have an answer on the tip of their tongue. It’s a tough question if you’re not expecting it.
Is there a game you’d like to play that we haven’t tried before? Don’t be afraid to get a little…fresh and sassy.
What would you want for breakfast in bed if money were no object? Take note of their answer so you can treat them to breakfast in bed the next time you’re together.
What’s your spirit animal? Note that “spirit animals” have nothing to do with animal-related traditions among many Indigenous peoples.
Describe your ideal vacation. Sometimes, even dreaming about a vacation can be a tension reliever.
What foods did you love as a child that you can’t stomach now? Orange soda? An entire can of icing? Pizza for dinner 17 nights in a row without complaint?
What foods did you hate as a child that you’d eat now? Sushi? Cauliflower mashed potatoes? Shaved parmesan with a splash of balsamic vinaigrette over a bed of fresh spring greens?
Describe your ideal sandwich and the beverage to go with it. Follow up by asking if they know anyone who’s ever had a sandwich named after them.
Do you have a favorite flower or favorite plant? Don’t be upset if they don’t. Not everyone does. If you’re a green thumb and they don’t know much about botany, anthology, or horticulture, think of a fun way to introduce them to the topic.
What kind of pet would you love to have someday? Did they have pets as a child? What were their names?
Would you get a tattoo — or matching tattoos? Do they have an “ex” tattoo? Did they cover it up or not?
What do you do to reduce stress or destress? Take note if all their stress reduction tactics involve drugs and alcohol. It may be a red flag.
If you had to spend a $5,000 gift card at only one store, where would you go? Make it harder by eliminating practical places like Target, Walmart, or Whole Foods.
Which country would you love to visit together? Or pick a “ couple country” on each continent and make a goal to visit them all one day.
What goes on your favorite ice cream sundae? Clearly, you should end things if they don’t like ice cream. That’s monster behavior. (Caveat: Lactose intolerant soldiers, we’re not talking about you.)
What’s your favorite social media platform, and why? Not being on social media is also a viable answer, and it doesn’t make someone “weird.” More and more people are stepping away from social media and happily never looking back.
If we went to an amusement park together, what ride would you head for first? Did you know that riding roller coasters with another person bonds you physically because of all the endorphins released?
Name one commonly-held belief that you disagree with. Prepare yourself to hear something with which you disagree, and try not to let the conversation devolve into a fight if it happens.
What would you do if you won the lottery jackpot? Fantasizing about winning the lottery is fun and can exercise your creative muscles.
What’s one skill you’d like to learn or develop further? Are you working on similar skills and behavioral goals?
What are your top five snack foods? Pay close attention. Snacks say a lot about a person!
What one beverage — besides water — would you not want to live without? Is your LDR partner a juice, alcohol, or health drink person?
What TV or movie couple reminds you the most of us? If the relationship has yet to reach “coupledom,” ask what famous person you remind them of — and vice versa.
Would you rather cook a meal together or read a book together? Are your answers the same?
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If we were reading the same book, would it annoy you if I read ahead? The answer to this question could provide insight into their approach to control and competition.
Do you still keep in touch with your childhood “best friend?” This opens up a fun conversation about what they got up to as little kids.
If we had a whole day to spend together, what would you want to do? This is an excellent getting-to-know-you question. Are your answers complementary? Wildly different?
What scents or aromas make you feel most at home? This can lead to a great conversation about their upbringing and positive memories.
What time of the day are you most productive — and least tolerant of interruptions? People in long-distance relationships should take extra care to be cognizant and respectful of their partner’s schedules and work commitments. Demanding that they speak to you at the least convenient time of the day will kill the relationship quickly.
What do you most like to see me wearing when we’re together? There’s nothing wrong with knowing what your partner finds attractive. Problems arise when they control your wardrobe.
Do you prefer city life or living in the country, and why? This is an age-old question that gives insight into someone’s authentic self. But don’t forget that people change — and someone who wants to live in the city in their 20s may feel differently when older.
Which holiday is your favorite? Which would you rather ignore? Are they a Christmas person? Does Turkey at Thanksgiving top the list? Dressing up on Halloween? Fireworks on July 4th? Or maybe latkes on Hanukkah, pumpkin halwa during Diwali, or maamoul on Eid is their thing.
What’s your favorite kind of story to tell, to hear, or to read? The answer illuminates someone’s creative side.
Download (PDF) 67 Long-Distance Relationship Questions
Now that you’ve looked through all 67 of these long-distance relationship questions (or LDR questions), which ones stood out for you the most?
Can you picture the two of you enjoying long conversations involving some of these questions? Who knew getting to know someone long-distance could be this much fun?
Remind yourself that the distance between you is temporary. Hard as it is to be apart, if you make time to get to know each other even better and your relationship deepens, the reunion will be all the sweeter.
And whatever the outcome, you’re worth the risk.