Women are not mysterious creatures who are impossible to understand.
You might have a general lack of confidence or awkwardness when talking with women, but this is easy to overcome with the right approach.
If you have difficulty coming up with things to talk about with a girl, use some of the following topics to get started.
Soon, after you have had some practice, you won’t need lists like these to become a master of conversation.
First things first: You can’t start talking to a girl if you don’t know how to greet her.
You need to have the confidence and courage to initiate a conversation.
Your anxiety can be the biggest hurdle to overcome.
A lack of confidence is not uncommon.
Most people experience it at least occasionally, if not on a daily basis.
Luckily, there are some things you can do to improve confidence or at least fake it until you make it.
Embrace Your Look
There is no one way to be attractive to a girl. Don’t look at an Instagram model and worry that you don’t have the eight-pack and perfect V.
Most girls are more attracted to charm and pleasant conversation than guys who are image-obsessed.
Practice Good Hygiene
You should not approach a girl without having practiced proper hygiene. Bad breath, stained clothing, and greasy hair will kill a conversation before it starts.
Look for an Opportunity
Approaching a woman in person is tricky. You might need to wait until she’s not involved in a group conversation, which is common in public spaces. Wait until she’s not actively talking or listening to someone else before you approach her.
If the girl you want to talk to is someone you already know through work, school, or mutual friends, it is acceptable to follow her on social media and send a message.
However, you must carefully cultivate social media messages, so they are friendly without being creepy.
Don’t Try to Be Something You’re Not
You might feel like you have to be an athlete, a brain, or a tough guy to talk to the girl of your dreams. You may want to appear to have more money or education than you have.
Do not do this. If you have to change yourself for someone else, you will never be happy or confident.
What to Talk About with a Girl: 27 Ideal Topics to Discuss with Her
Good topics to talk about with a girl will vary depending on who she is, who you are, and your particular situation.
Is she a girl you already know well?
Is she someone you just met?
Is she a stranger you’ve locked eyes with at a party and would like to get to know?
We’ve curated the following topics to talk about with a girl to work well in most circumstances. Figure out those that fit your situation and start chatting!
1. Work or School
Ask her about her work or studies. Show a real interest by asking questions that require more than a yes or no answer.
Questions like, “How did you decide to pursue this type of work?” or “Which class do you find most interesting?” will show her that you care about the answer.
Follow up with specific questions regarding her answer to keep the conversation flowing.
2. Your Favorite Music
“Who is your favorite musician?” is a question that gets anyone talking. She may ask why you want to know, to which you can answer that you’re looking for new music and she seems like someone who would have good taste.
She should then tell you about her musical preferences or even share a playlist or two with you. A good follow-up might be to ask about any concerts she’s been to or what her dream concert would be.
3. Advice You Want
It is a universal fact: People love to give advice. Ask her for advice, and you are virtually guaranteed a long conversation.
Easy topics for advice might be what to buy your mom for her birthday or what color shirt to wear to a special event.
You can also tailor the advice to the situation you are in. Are you at a library? Ask her to help you choose which book to read next.
4. Fun and Friendly Gossip
Tread lightly with gossip. You never know who you might hurt or offend. Keep any gossip as innocuous as possible. Don’t share anything you know not to be true or that might get someone in trouble.
One of the best ways to share gossip that won’t backfire is with celebrity gossip. “I heard Pete Davidson is now dating…” is usually a good start.
5. Pop Culture and Shared Interests
Talking about pop culture is one of the best ways to find out if she shares your interests.
If you love the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but she can’t think of anything worse than superhero films, you will learn not to waste your time while also learning how to start a conversation with a girl.
“Have you seen (fill in the blank) yet?” is an excellent topic that you both can enjoy.
6. Her Personal Interests
Asking about her interests needs to be done with care. You might come off as a stalker if you know that she takes a pottery class each Wednesday, but this isn’t information she shared with you herself.
A simple, “What do you like to do in your downtime?” is a good opener.
7. How Her Day Was
One of the best ways to start a conversation with her is to give her the opportunity to talk about her day.
Most people have a lot to unload at the end of a stressful day. They will likely take any opportunity to talk about it.
“How was your day,” is not the right choice. The typical answer is a curt “fine,” followed by silence. Instead, try, “What happened with you today?” which invites a lengthy follow-up.
8. Your Crazy Dreams
Asking about dreams is a fun way to start a conversation. You can even start by offering one of your own.
“I had a dream that Harry Styles was mad at me because I didn’t talk to him enough at our family reunion, but I was busy looking for this kid with a pumpkin on his head because dancing spoons were chasing us. What’s the craziest dream you ever had?”
9. Secrets You Can Share
She might be the kind of person who loves secrets. If so, tell her one. Be warned: It must be one of our own. Don’t tell a secret that is not yours to tell.
Likewise, don’t tell a secret that would make her uncomfortable or could come back to haunt you.
Choose a secret dream (I always wanted to be a banker!) or something self-deprecating (don’t tell anyone, but I locked my keys in my car again).
10. Info About Her Family
Conversation topics with a girl you know are much easier to find than with someone you have never met before. You may already know something about her family members, which gives you something to ask.
Repeat something that you read or heard and ask more about it. For instance, “I heard your mother had surgery recently; how is she doing?” or “Is your little brother still into Lego?”
11. Your Favorite Hobbies
Don’t be shy about sharing your hobby with the girl you want to talk to. Tell her about something that you are passionate about to gauge if it’s something she likes as well.
Whether your hobby is frisbee golf or coin collecting, it’s worth sharing. You can ask her about her hobbies and find out what hobbies the two of you might have in common.
12. Her Childhood Experiences
Asking questions about someone’s childhood is to show interest without getting overly personal.
Ask where she grew up, whether she lived in the city or country, what pets she had, what she was afraid of, or her fondest memory.
Asking her to reminisce, and showing genuine interest, is a great way to start a conversation.
13. Her Favorite Pets
Does she have pets? How many? Is she a cat person or a dog person? Does she have fish, reptiles, birds, or cuddly creatures?
If she doesn’t have pets, does she like animals? Which animal is her favorite? A woman with pets is almost always interested in talking about them and learning about the pets you have as well.
14. The Foods She Likes
Food is a topic of conversation that everyone can get behind. You can start by asking her about her favorite dish, cuisine, or restaurant.
You could be more pointed and ask her what her favorite cheese is or if she has any food allergies.
Another option is to ask for her food advice. Tell her you’re considering pizza for dinner tonight, but sushi sounds good too. What does she think you should have?
15. Her Favorite Travel Destinations
Who doesn’t love to travel? Ask her about her favorite vacation and what made it special for her.
Conversely, you can ask her about her dream destination. Where has she always wanted to go and why?
Be sure to have an answer ready when she asks you the same question.
16. Thoughts About Politics
Most people say you should avoid politics in polite conversation. That is not always the case. The two of you may have very strong political beliefs.
If they don’t align, you’re not a good match and should move on. If they do coincide, you will have a lot to talk about.
Warning: Do not bring up politics if you cannot have a polite conversation with someone whose beliefs differ from your own. If you have ever suggested to someone who disagrees with you politically that they are uneducated or called them any kind of name (sheep, snowflake, Nazi), then political conversations are not the right choice for you.
17. Her Religious Beliefs
Like politics, religion can be a no-go topic. Also, like politics, firmly held religious beliefs may be important to establish from the outset.
The question, “Would you consider yourself religious or spiritual?” is a good jumping-off point. You will find out a lot about her with this question.
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18. Her Weekend Plans
Ask her what she’s doing over the weekend. It’s an innocent question that is guaranteed an answer.
You may worry that she will think you are leading up to asking her out. If so, start the conversation with your own weekend plans.
“I have “Hamilton” tickets this weekend. I’m really excited to see it. What are you doing this weekend?”
19. Her Daytime Fantasies
“What do you daydream about when you’re at work/school?” We all have times when we’re in boring situations. The woman you want to talk to is no different.
Another way to pose the question is to ask her where she would go if she could be anywhere in the world at that moment.
You could also ask what superpower she would want. Any hypothetical question works.
20. The Desert Island Game
Desert Island is a get-to-know-you activity that is a great ice breaker. You ask if she was stuck on a desert island and she could only have one book, one movie, and one food for the rest of her life, what would it be?
You can change it up and ask about music, drinks, or anything else you wish.
21. Her Long-Term Goals
What are her long-term plans? Does she want to have children? Does she hope to move abroad?
Asking her what her dream future looks like shows that you care about her and want to learn more.
22. Three Wishes She’d Choose
A hypothetical situation is always a fun ice breaker. Ask the woman what she would request if she found a genie in a bottle and could have three wishes.
You should stipulate that she can’t ask for more wishes to ensure you’re hearing the three things that are most important to her.
23. Her Career Aspirations
Ask her to talk about her career goals. If you are still in school, you can ask about her (future or current) college major and what she plans to do with her degree.
If she already has her dream job, ask her what she wanted to be when she was a little girl.
24. Cheesy Pick-Up Lines
Cheesy pick-up lines actually work on some women. If she is the type of person who is joyful and loves to laugh, she will probably enjoy your cheesy pickup line.
A word to the wise: Stick with cute and avoid risque. “Are you my appendix? Because I feel like I should take you out” is a timeless classic.
25. Her Top 10 Movies
Ask a girl to name her top 10 favorite movies, and you will have started a conversation that is destined to last.
You can also choose books, artists, television shows, podcasts, or anything you think she might be interested in. It’s also a good way to get to know her likes and dislikes.
26. Funny Jokes You Both Know
Ask her to tell you the funniest joke she knows. Tell her you need a good laugh. Say you’re feeling down or just meh, and a good laugh will lift your spirits.
If she doesn’t know any funny jokes, you can tell one to her. Make sure it’s clean and non-offensive.
27. Your Honest Feelings
One of the best ways to start a conversation with a woman is to be straightforward and honest.
Tell her that you are nervous about talking to her, but you want to get to know her better. Most women will be both flattered and impressed with your honesty and attention.
Why Guys Have Difficulty Knowing What to Talk About with Girls
Guys often have trouble knowing what to talk about with girls because they look at women as the “other.” They think talking to a woman is akin to using a language they don’t understand.
Even if you are able to start talking to a woman, you might find yourself faltering. Remember, there are things you can do to keep a conversation going:
- Remember that men and women aren’t that different. You should be able to talk to her much in the way you talk to your other friends.
- Talking to a woman lets you know if she shares your interests. Should the two of you have things in common, you shouldn’t have trouble holding a conversation.
- A lull in a conversation doesn’t have to be awkward. Use it as an opportunity to bring up a fun anecdote or to ask her questions about herself.
- Leave the conversation on a high note. Find an excuse to step away but promise to continue your talk again in the future. This is true of both in-person and text conversations.
- If she isn’t interested, move on. You are worth far too much to waste time on someone who doesn’t return your feelings.
Talking to a woman doesn’t need to be scary or complicated. All you have to do is take that first step, say those first words, and enjoy the conversation.