Does He Find You Irresistible? 21 Ways To Draw Him To You Like A Magnet

Have you ever wondered what it is about certain women that drive men crazy?

Or why some women have men hanging on their every word whether she’s available and interested or not?

They’re not always the prettiest women in the room, and they don’t necessarily have wads of cash, super exciting careers, or famous friends, but men flock to them like moths to a flame. 

So what is it about these women?

What makes a woman irresistible to men?

What Does It Mean To Be Irresistible to a Man?

What do we mean when we say “irresistible to a man?”

In our socially progressive age, it may seem like an outdated concept.

But if you break it down, the same aspects that excite love interests are often the same things that help you maintain good mental health, self-esteem, and social acumen, including:

  • Confidence: Few things are more attractive than confidence, including good looks.
  • Compassion: Genuine kindness is an aphrodisiac. 
  • Curiosity: Curious people are interesting people, and interesting people are more fun to be around.
  • Comfortability: Everyone wants to feel completely comfortable with their significant other.    

5 Mistakes You Can Make When Trying to Be Irresistible to a Man 

We all want to be the calmest, coolest, most collected versions of ourselves. But when attracted to someone, we often fall short and bring the cringe instead. 

So, to help you avoid stumbling into a pitfall when trying to attract that special guy, don't do these five things. 

Be Too Eager

It may sound old-fashioned, but the “chase” can be more exciting than the “catch.” And a large part of what makes the early days exciting and fun is the uncertainty. 

So don't be too eager. When you're always available and make it crystal clear you'd drop anything to be with him, you're removing a critical element of the fun — the does-she, doesn't-she like me aspect.

Play it cool. Don't answer on the first ring every time he calls. Heck, let him go to voicemail sometimes. The same goes for texts. You needn't respond immediately to each one. 

Remember that he may be able to tell if you read a text. So think strategically. Do you want to leave him “on read” or wait a few hours before opening it?  

Wear a Wardrobe that Falls Outside His Acceptable Fashion Window

We hate to use the word “trashy” because taste is subjective. What one person may find attractive and alluring may be a major turn-off to another. But if you'd like to start dating a particular gentleman, pay attention to his style.

Let's put it this way: If he looks like a Burberry poster boy, low-cut and loud outfits from Hot Topic may not turn him on.

happy couple outside how to be irresistible to men

That said, changing yourself to “land a man” is never advised. If you feel you must dress differently and mute your style to please someone, they're probably not “the one.”

Be Crude

It happens to a lot of people. In an ill-fated attempt to appear “cool” — or be “one of the guys” — people turn the crude up a notch. They may curse or talk about overly sexual things. Other crude “tactics” include:

  • Behaving ostentatiously and talking loudly for attention
  • Calling strangers names and making fun of them
  • Not following basic manners when having a meal

Be Clingy

You've started dating casually and want to take things to the next level. You're also nervous that he may be seeing other people and want to make your presence known. Resultantly, you cling to him like a bee on pollen.  

Unfortunately, many folks don't realize when they reach this stage. They're so obsessed they lack the self-awareness to know they're being clingy. 

So do your best to be aware of your behavior and remember that clinginess is about as attractive as spitting in someone's face. 

Don't Have Your Own Life

Few people, regardless of gender, want to be with someone who doesn't have their own life, interests, and hobbies.

We're not suggesting you have to be at the top of your field or an active member of dozens of clubs. At the same time, you don't want to seem like you sit around and do nothing all day.

21 Ways To Be Irresistible To Men 

A man may initially notice your physical appearance, but it isn’t the only thing that draws him to you. What men find irresistible is more about how you present yourself, the way you communicate, and your attitude.

1. Make good eye contact.

Looking a man in the eyes showcases confidence, respect, and interest. On the other hand, avoiding eye contact can make you appear shy, uninterested, or even cold.

couple kissing outside how to be irresistible to men

Maintaining eye contact can make others comfortable and create a powerful connection, but don’t stare long enough to make it uncomfortable.

Smile while holding his gaze for a few seconds before looking away, perhaps to reach for your drink or adjust your jewelry.

2. Show healthy self-confidence.

If you want men to find you irresistible, develop unwavering confidence in yourself and your abilities.

It doesn’t matter if you’re tall or short, thin or curvy, or have long hair, short hair, or no hair. It also doesn’t matter what you do for a living, where you live, what kind of car you drive, or how expensive your clothes are. 

It shows when you treat yourself with love and respect and believe in yourself. What’s more is it makes others respect, love, and believe in you, too. 

3. Enjoy yourself.

What kind of people are more fun to be around? Stiff, serious folks who are easily offended and find little humor in anything?

Or those who can laugh, relax, and enjoy themselves despite all the unpleasant things going on in the world?

You don’t have to avoid more serious issues, but make time to be lighthearted and enjoy yourself.

Share fun or funny situations. Laugh at his jokes (as long as they’re funny.)

Women who are fun to be around are irresistible. 

4. Be honest and direct.

Men don’t like to guess what you think or how you feel. They don’t appreciate mind games or dishonesty, and they don’t want to be jerked around.

If you like him, tell him. If he does something to upset you, tell him. If you disagree with his opinion, tell him. 

Women who are honest and direct in a mature and respectful (rather than a rude or closed-minded) way are irresistible. 

5. Treat others with respect.

Irresistible women are always polite and respectful. 

Whether they’re interacting with a potential client or ordering a drink at the bar, they’re just simply nice. They have good manners, refrain from judging others or putting them down, and treat everyone equally regardless of how they look, how much money they make, or where they live.

They work to build others up and avoid bringing them down. They even handle disagreements maturely.

6. Put your best foot forward.

You don’t have to dress up or have perfect make-up to be irresistible. 

Men love women who care for themselves and make themselves look nice, whether they’re attending a black-tie affair or running errands around town. 

You don’t have to spend hours dolling yourself up or pretending to be someone you’re not, but basic personal hygiene and clean, wrinkle-free clothes go a long way. 

You can be comfortable and presentable at the same time. Bonus points if you always smell incredible.

7. Stand firm in your beliefs.

There’s something irresistible about a woman who knows what she believes, regardless of what others say and do. 

couple talking over coffee how to be irresistible to men

Not that she doesn’t change her mind about important things after being presented with a strong case (because being open-minded or admitting when you’re wrong are equally irresistible), but she doesn’t let others change her opinion for her.

Even when everyone else holds a different view, she maintains hers without embarrassment or belittling others.


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8. Have a positive outlook.

Irresistible women tend to find the positive in a situation– or at least find positive ways to respond.

That doesn’t mean they don’t have bad moods or pretend everything is fine when it’s not (that’s toxic!). But they don’t typically complain or dwell on the negative.

They acknowledge when something goes wrong and deal with the outcome maturely without placing blame or bringing everyone down.

Irresistible women have their share of problems, but they’re able to maintain a glass-half-full perspective.

9. Maintain a little mystery.

Many men can’t resist an intriguing puzzle. The point isn’t secrecy or deceit. Instead, it’s letting him draw his own conclusions about certain aspects of you until a later date. You don’t need to share too much, too soon.

Drop nuggets of information that show how interesting you are without spilling all the details upfront. Refrain from sharing everything about the trip you took last month or your exact plans for your upcoming weekend getaway. 

Keep him guessing and allow his imagination to fill in the blanks.

10. Be independent and self-reliant.

There’s something irresistible about women who are passionate about something and keep up with it no matter what. 

They don’t cancel plans with others or themselves to make room for a guy, and their interests don’t depend on those around them. They know who they are, like who they are, and are unapologetic about it. 

Women who fill their lives with people and activities are happier – and more irresistible! A woman who can take care of herself but still enjoys her guy's support is totally sexy.

11. Presence is important.

He likes being around women who are fully present – and not distracted or in their heads. Be in the moment with your full attention to avoid coming across as bored or aloof.

Engage in conversation and practice active listening. Put your phone away and tune out others around you when talking to your guy. Ask intriguing questions and share your opinions. 

Find ways to focus on your man and what you’re doing together rather than allowing your thoughts or other distractions to pull you away. 

12. Use inviting body language.

It’s not always the things you say that matter but how you say them and present yourself. 

Maintain a relaxed, open posture, and smile when appropriate. Turn your body toward your guy during a conversation, nod to show understanding, and make eye contact. 

Speak clearly and with confidence. Touch his arm occasionally in a nonsexual way while laughing at a joke. Show genuine interest using your facial expressions and body positioning to be irresistible to him.

13. Be decisive. 

Men love women who can make a freaking decision already. 

Chances are you do have an opinion on what to eat or where to go. You don’t have to make hasty or rash decisions or insist everything goes your way, but don’t pretend you don’t care when you do. Learn to make informed decisions quickly and confidently.

Assertive women are easier to be around than passive or aggressive ones. If he doesn’t like your decision or wants something different, you can certainly find a compromise. 

14. Don't Gossip

Gossiping is problematic on several levels. For starters, it makes you come across as petty. Secondly, many people make the mistake of judging others without first acknowledging their own bull, rendering them hypocrites. Thirdly, if you're still casually dating and don't know all the facts of your paramour's life, you could unintentionally say something deeply offensive.

Of course, it's okay to comment and giggle about television characters and other entities designed for public criticism. But talking about peers behind their backs can backfire. 

15. Make Yourself Unavailable Sometimes

Don't be at his beck and call, 24-7. It may sound old-fashioned, but men still prefer partners that aren't clingy and play hard to get. This is especially important early on. Make him work for you and not the other way around. Be careful not to go overboard, though. You don't want him to think you're uninterested. If you turn him down one night, make it clear you'd like to hang out on a date that works better for you. 

16. Don't Get Wasted

If you're still in the early days of dating, do not get sloppy wasted around the object of your desire. It's incredibly unattractive, and you will say and do things you regret. Having a few drinks is perfectly fine; we're not advocating for the teetotal lifestyle. But refrain from going overboard. And don't worry; once you've been together for a while and are more comfortable with one another, there will be plenty of time to let loose.  

17. Be Reliable

How do you feel about people who never follow through? Who never shows up when they say they will? Life happens, and we must cancel at the last minute sometimes. But try not to make it a pattern. He may begin to think you're too flighty for a serious relationship.

18. Don't Try To Curate His Life

Be honest: Are you super particular and a tad more controlling than is comfortable? If so, try to rein it in. Few guys like to be manhandled. Excessive life curation can also feel emasculating. Appreciate him for him. Compliment him. (Once you’re cohabitating, you can slyly start making small changes here and there. And by that time, you’ll be an expert at convincing him the changes were his idea.) 

19. Acknowledge His “Hero Instinct”

In recent years, relationship psychologists have been talking a lot about the idea of the “hero instinct.”

Studies show that men prefer partners that make them feel needed, knowledgeable, and gallant. In many instances, it matters more than physical attraction in the long run.

So if you want to be irresistible to a particular guy, make him feel like he's the second coming of Superman. Just make sure it doesn't come off as phony.

20. Ignore Him

If you're super into him, this tactic may be a bit disingenuous — but it works if he's also into you. 

But getting it right takes practice. You don't want to go overboard. After all, he'll move on if you send too many signals that you're not interested. But you also don't want to make it obvious that you're purposefully ignoring him for effect.

Here are a few tips to make it work:

  • Never agree to do something if he waits until the day of to ask.
  • Every third time he texts or calls, wait at least a day to get back to him.
  • If you see each other out and about, wait for him to say “hey.” 

21. Date Other People

If he hasn't committed to you, don't commit to him. If things are still casual, no rule says you can't date other people. 

Even if no other men are on your radar, keep your dating profile active — especially if you met him on one. Knowing that you haven't shut yours down is enough to make him wonder. If he hasn't indicated that he wants to be exclusive but asks your status, say you're dating or “keeping your options open.”

It may sound counterintuitive, but the fact that he's not #1 in your eyes makes you more desirable. 

How to Appear Sexier to Guys 

It should be clear by now that your attitude and behaviors have a lot to do with how attractive you are to men. If you want to appear sexier to them, try to:

  • Show him you care. Ask about his sick dog, check-in after a bad day for him, congratulate him on his new business.
  • Flirt a little. Playfully tease him, make a coy comment, laugh at his jokes.
  • Mirror him. Match his expressions and behaviors to build natural rapport and trust.
  • Touch your body. Lightly touch your collarbone or massage your neck to draw his attention.
  • Hold his gaze. Maintain eye contact for a few extra seconds. Give a coy smile and maybe lightly bite your lip. 

Frequently Asked Questions About Being Irresistible To a Man

What kind of women do men find irresistible?

Every man is unique and has individual preferences. What turns on one guy might be dismissed by another.

There isn’t a specific set of traits, but a few common irresistible characteristics include:

  • Kindness
  • Smelling good
  • Letting him know he’s on your mind
  • Playfully touching him

What is the most attractive thing to a guy?

Attraction is highly subjective, and there isn’t one universal quality for every man. There are, however, some things men typically can’t get enough of:

  • Physical beauty or a certain “type”
  • Being self-assured
  • Intelligence

How do you know if a guy finds you irresistible?

There are some telltale signs to whether a guy finds you irresistible. If he doesn’t say it with his words, check his nonverbal body language.

  • He leans toward you
  • His pupils are dilated
  • He touches you lightly (and appropriately)
  • He seems nervous
  • He finds ways to be around you

Physical appearance has less to do with attraction than you think.

If you want to know how to be irresistible to men, just be your awesome self! The most irresistible men are those who like you just as you are.