Do you have a bad attitude? I mean, how can you tell, really?
One personās bad attitude is anotherās comic relief, right?
Turns out, not so much.
Youāre just getting a reputation for being one of those people with attitude. And itās never a compliment. At some point, even your friends stop pretending youāre funny.
So, you want to know, what is a bad attitude? And if you have one, where did it come from? And what can you do to change it?
- What Does It Mean to Have a Bad Attitude?
- 17 Signs You Have a Bad Attitude
- 1. Youāre (always) comparing yourself to others.
- 2. You expect other people to operate according to your schedule.
- 3. Everyone irritates you.
- 4. You expect deference from people whose jobs are less prestigious than yours.
- 5. You expect others to respect you before you show them respect.
- 6. Youāre always in a hurry.
- 7. Your expectations have never met reality.
- 8. You misinterpret everything others do and say.
- 9. Youāre stuck in all-or-nothing (or black and white) thinking.
- 10. Youāre fixated on conflicts with people you care about.
- 11. Youāre carrying a grudge against someone.
- 12. Youāre expecting bad things to happen to you.
- 13. Youāve gotten used to seeing yourself as unlikable.
- 14. Deep down, you honestly believe youāre superior to others.
- 15. A recent disappointment has you discouraged.
- 16. A recent tragedy has you feeling indifferent to everyone and everything else.
- 17. People have been calling you out for your attitude.
- How Do You Fix a Bad Attitude?
What Does It Mean to Have a Bad Attitude?
This day has been on your case from the moment you got up this morning.
And for some reason, other people have been acting as if you are the problem.
Youāre the one having an attitude that makes everything and everyone in your life an antagonist.
Maybe youāre asking yourself, āWhy do I have a bad attitude?ā And, at first, habit steers you toward blame. Someone or something else has given this day a bad start.
You were just minding your own business when, for no reason, the universe flicked you in the head. Back up a bit more, though, and you can probably point to one of the following as the reason why your attitude is so negative.
- Youāre working through something, and you just canāt with people right now.
- You pride yourself on your grumpiness; itās just who you are.
- Youāre a glass-half-empty (or just empty) person, and youāre okay with that.
- You think people today are too sensitive, and itās your job to toughen them up.
- You woke up with your usual mindset, which can be roughly translated as āUgh!ā
The good news, once you know why your attitude is making your life harder, you can exchange it for one that makes it easier and more enjoyable.
But first, you need to be honest with yourself about where that attitude came from.
17 Signs You Have a Bad Attitude
There are reasons behind your attitudes, including the ones that make life harder.
And those reasons serve as telltale signs you need to take a moment and examine your thinking.
Once you identify the signs of a bad attitude, you can take steps to improve it.
1. Youāre (always) comparing yourself to others.
If youāre always comparing yourself to others, youāre bound to end up with a negative attitude, at least whenever you feel inferior to the other person.
What you can do: When you hear of someone elseās success or good fortune, be as happy and grateful for them as you would be for yourself. Make it a habit to see everyoneās wins as a win for you, too.
2. You expect other people to operate according to your schedule.
Youāve got things to do and places to go. How dare anyone make you late for something! If you react harshly, itās only because you take your duties seriously.
What you can do ā Remember that while you have an idea of how long it should take to do something, other people are dealing with things you canāt see. Itās easier to be patient when you choose instead to think of how grateful you are for what they do.
3. Everyone irritates you.
Youāre always looking for a fight, and it doesnāt take much for you to get mouthy or abrasive. Youāre rude to anyone who doesnāt meet your high standards.
What you can do ā Get to know yourself. And get to know other people. Your own attitude is what keeps you in a hair-trigger state, and thatās no way to live. Youāre choosing to feel irritated; no one can make you feel that way unless you let them.
4. You expect deference from people whose jobs are less prestigious than yours.
Somewhere along the way, you started looking down at people who work low-income jobs or who never earned a college degree. Whatever your background, itās never too late to educate yourself and learn how to see people as they are.
What you can do ā Find a volunteer opportunity that involves serving people, either in foodservice, cleaning, or something else. Itās not the fault of essential workers that society doesnāt value the hard work they do.
5. You expect others to respect you before you show them respect.
Not only that, but you donāt feel respected unless other people do as you ask. If the other person doesnāt obey or indulge you, you see no reason to treat them like human beings.
What you can do ā Practice being the first to show respect and appreciation. Donāt worry if others donāt return the favor. Act as if you see the good in everyone, and you will.
6. Youāre always in a hurry.
I mean, who isnāt, right? So much to do! The nerve of some people slowing you down when all youāre trying to do is check everything off on your to-do list.
What you can do ā Slow down and learn to appreciate whatās around you. Learn to appreciate the people in your life and all that they do. Most, if not all the people you meet, are doing their best. And a kind word of thanks goes a long way.
7. Your expectations have never met reality.
You base your expectations on what you want ā and on the assumption that, if only others were as competent and hard-working as you, theyād have no trouble meeting those expectations.
What you can do ā Get better acquainted with other peopleās reality. Its defiance of your expectations doesnāt have to lead to disappointment. Adjust your expectations to allow for the unexpected variables that go with being human.
8. You misinterpret everything others do and say.
No one can do right by you. And every little thing they do is setting you off. Youāre so busy thinking, āWhy are people so annoying?ā youāre oblivious to your effect on others.
What you can do ā Remember youāre not a mind-reader. And it doesnāt cost you a thing to flip your default interpretation to a positive one. It doesnāt mean you have to assume everyone has good intentions. Just donāt be quick to think everyone hates you.
9. Youāre stuck in all-or-nothing (or black and white) thinking.
Either someone is 100% on board with what you want to do, or theyāre against you. There is no in-between. And no one has either the will or the ability to be the kind of āfriendā you want.
What you can do ā A good friend will have your back but will also tell you when they disagree. Learn to appreciate the people in your life who care enough about you to be honest.
10. Youāre fixated on conflicts with people you care about.
You donāt have room or time to deal with people when your mind is stuck thinking about a conflict with someone you care about. Your mind builds that conflict into something catastrophic and all-consuming.
What you can do ā Instead of dwelling on the negative aspects of a conflict, focus on what you love about the other person, what youāre grateful for, and how you can show it.
11. Youāre carrying a grudge against someone.
Itās a righteous grudge, you keep telling yourself. Youāre convinced that letting go of that grudge would let the other person win. But the only person your grudge is hurting is you.
What you can do ā Decide to forgive this person, not for their sake, but for yours. And, as hard as it may be, go the extra mile and make a list of things youāre grateful for or that you admire about this person.
12. Youāre expecting bad things to happen to you.
Youāre doomed. Nothing ever goes the way you want it to. So, why wouldnāt you have a bad attitude? Your whole life is a cruel joke, and everyone else sees it when they look at you. So, you scowl back.
What you can do ā Your attitude is exactly why it seems the universe is against you. Youāve decided to believe that, so thatās exactly how you feel. Instead, choose to believe that the universe wants you to be happy and have a life you love.
13. Youāve gotten used to seeing yourself as unlikable.
You donāt expect people to like you, so you donāt give them any reason to. If you donāt like yourself, you wonāt expect others to, either.
What you can do ā Focus on cultivating authentic self-respect and self-love. And work on building self-confidence. The better you feel about yourself, the less likely you are to ācut to the chaseā and do or say something you know will alienate other people.
14. Deep down, you honestly believe youāre superior to others.
Maybe you can do something few others can. Or perhaps youāve been encouraged to see yourself as superior. Whatever the reason, your arrogance hasnāt done you any favors ā especially when it comes to relationships.
What you can do ā Get better acquainted with others and learn how amazing they are. Get out of your head and practice gratitude for the beauty and brilliance you see outside of it.
15. A recent disappointment has you discouraged.
Itās hard to think about anything or anyone else when youāre fixated on a disappointing experience. Whatever you expected to happen didnāt. So, what have you learned?
What you can do ā Give yourself some time to reassess the situation and see that it doesnāt diminish your value. You are stronger than your disappointments.
16. A recent tragedy has you feeling indifferent to everyone and everything else.
Youāre in pain, and itās hard to see past that. All it takes is one thoughtless act, and you vent your grief and frustration as complaints and insults. It seems thatās all you have the energy for.
What you can do ā The best way to start the healing process is to think, not only of what you love about this person but of what you can do and enjoy now. Think about what you love, and make more room in your life for that.
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17. People have been calling you out for your attitude.
The biggest clue that your attitude is not serving you or anyone else is when people around you are calling you out for it. Theyāve had enough, and theyāre not afraid to tell you youāre being a jerk. However carefully they might do this, you feel attacked.
What you can do ā If your attitude is putting people off, theyāre doing you a favor by pointing that out. Itās on you to change your attitude by changing your thinking.
What Causes that Pesky Bad Attitude?
We've all been there, haven't we? It's one of those days where everything just seems to be out to get you. You're not trying to spread misery; life just seems to have given you a raw deal today.
And there's this nagging voice in your head, blaming everyone and everything for today's sour mood.
If you take a step back, you'll realize that the root of this bad attitude is a bit closer to home. Maybe you're wrestling with something personal, and you just don't have the patience for other people today.
Recognizing the birthplace of that gloomy attitude of yours is like finding a treasure map; it's the first big clue to making a change. Sometimes these irksome attitudes have their roots in the shadows of your past.
Maybe you've tasted the bitterness of failure one too many times, or perhaps your past includes trauma, neglect, or abuse. These experiences have a way of sticking around. But remember, awareness is the first step towards clearing out these dark clouds.
How Do You Fix a Bad Attitude?
Now that youāve looked through these signs of a bad attitude letās sum up the best ways to exchange that attitude for a better one:
- Start each day by making a list of ten things youāre grateful for.
- When youāre angry with someone, write ten things you admire about them.
- When itās tempting to think youāre having a bad day, think of ten reasons itās a good one.
- Practice mindfulness meditation every day to be fully present and grateful for the good in your life.
- Think about what you love and spend time imagining, in vivid detail, what you want.
In other words, the more positive your thinking, the better you feel, and your feelings are powerful. Adopt even one of these habits today, and it will change your life.
How Does a Bad Attitude Play Out in Relationships?
Has anyone told you lately that your bad attitude is messing with your relationships? Maybe they've pointed out that you're always picking fights or that you're the local killjoy. Or worse, they've stopped pointing out your negativity because it's like wading through a swamp, and it's tiring.
The worst part? Over time, this bad attitude might push people away, causing you to feel isolated. It's like being in a room full of familiar people and still feeling alone.
Final Thoughts
Ready to turn your bad attitude around?
Now that you have an answer to the question, āWhy do I have a bad attitude?ā what will you do today to improve it and to build a life you love?
The quality of your life is up to you, after all, and no one else. What you do with your time, energy, and other resources will depend on how you choose to think and feel.
Choose carefully. Make every moment an opportunity to give love with your thoughts. Youāll be amazed at the difference that makes.