“As long as you think that the cause of your problem is ‘out there' —as long as you think that anyone or anything is responsible for your suffering—the situation is hopeless. It means that you are forever in the role of victim, that you’re suffering in paradise.” ~Byron Katie
You can do just about anything you set your mind to. And just about is plenty good for accomplishing more in life than you have time to accomplish.
Yes, there are some things in life that we won't ever be able to achieve. I will never be a professional ballet dancer no matter how diligently I train. You may not get the specific job you want because the employer won't hire you. You may go after something with every confidence that you can achieve it, and then something unexpected prevents you. Of course severe physical or emotional illness can hinder you. But these are the exceptions. The rule is that there are millions of things you can accomplish.
When I coach clients, they often revert to the fallback position of over-examining their emotions. Emotions are important and have their place, but they are a smokescreen to taking action. I try to refocus the client on action. Positive action always makes you feel better. Even one tiny forward movement can be enough to turn around your entire outlook.
Here are some common feeling-charged thoughts that try to divert you from action:
- It's hard. I can't do it.
- I'm too lazy. I just don't have the motivation.
- I don't really need to be doing this thing. I'm fine the way I am.
- I'm feeling down right now. I can't do anything when I feel this way.
- I can't afford to do that.
- Something bad might happen. People won't like me anymore. I'll make them mad.
- I failed at this before, so clearly I'm not capable.
- I don't deserve this. I'm just not good enough.