The Lost Art of Courtship: 25 Timeless Tips for Modern Suitors

In the age of dating apps and instant gratification, the lost art of courtship often feels like a relic of the past. 

But romance doesn't have to be dead, gentlemen. 

Winning a woman's heart takes creativity, effort, and a touch of old-fashioned chivalry. 

Grand gestures never go out of style. 

Thoughtful gifts show you listen. 

And leaving love notes reminds her she's cherished. 

Courtship is about making her feel valued, not just swiping right. 

So dig deep and tap into your inner romantic. 

You may be surprised by the results.

What Does It Mean to Court a Woman?

In today's fast-paced, technology-driven world, the notion of courting a woman may sound antiquated or old-fashioned. 

However, at its core, courting simply means romancing someone with intention and effort to win their affection.

couple dancing along ocean front Court a Woman

 It's about being chivalrous, thoughtful, and charming as you get to know someone. 

Courting involves expressing interest in a gracious and respectful manner, learning about her dreams and interests, and looking for sincere ways to make her feel valued. 

It's more than just going on dates – it's thoughtfully laying the groundwork for a meaningful relationship. Courtship is the art of genuine romance.

Do Women Like to Be Courted?

Many women crave old-fashioned romance but rarely experience it. ​​Thoughtful courting shows her she's valued beyond physical intimacy.

Small gestures like opening doors or bringing flowers make her feel cherished.

Planning creative dates demonstrates a sincere interest in who she is. Investing time in learning her dreams and fears builds emotional intimacy. Thoughtful gifts reflect how well you know and adore her. 

Every woman deserves to feel treasured. With chivalry, creativity, and sincerity, courting makes her feel uniquely special.

How to Court a Woman: 25 Ways to Woo Her Heart

Ready to channel your inner gentleman and sweep her off her feet? Courting requires creativity, effort, and a spirit of romance.

Here are 25 charming, thoughtful ways to show her she's special and win her heart. 

1. Write her handwritten love letters.

In our digital world, receiving romantic handwritten letters is a lost art. Take time to write her thoughtful, heartfelt letters expressing your feelings. Mail them to her home or leave them where she'll find them. Handwritten notes feel sincere and personal. Use your best penmanship to craft meaningful words she'll treasure. Show you care by putting pen to paper.

2. Surprise her with flowers. 

Nothing says romance like a gorgeous bouquet – just because. Have flowers delivered to her home or job with a sweet note. Make sure they're flowers she likes. Present them to her yourself for bonus points! The element of surprise and thought behind the gesture will touch her heart.

3. Plan old-fashioned dates.

Skip the typical dinner and a movie. Plan unique dates with an old-fashioned flair, like a picnic in the park, a drive-in movie, or bowling. Take her dancing or to a jazz club. Attend an outdoor concert or festival. Focus on quality time together. Nostalgic dates show you want to create special memories.  

4. Cook dinner for her.

Treat her to an intimate, homemade dinner. Cook one of her favorite meals or experiment with a new recipe together. Set the mood with candles, music, and fresh flowers. Show off your cooking skills. The effort you put in will mean a lot. End the evening with dessert on the patio. 

5. Treat her to small gifts.

Gift-giving is a classic courtship move. Bring her little gifts like her favorite coffee, cookies from a new bakery, or a book you think she'll like. Drop off gifts just because with a sweet card. Thoughtful little surprises will put a smile on her face. Choose gifts that show how well you know her.

6. Take her on a romantic getaway.

Plan a romantic overnight trip or weekend getaway just for the two of you. Choose a cozy cabin in the mountains, quaint inn, or beach cottage. Disconnect from daily life and focus completely on quality time together. Surprise her by handling all the plans and details. Make it a mini vacation she'll always remember. 

couple laughing sitting on park bench Court a Woman

7. Write her a love poem. 

Channel your inner poet and write a poem just for her. It doesn't have to rhyme or be perfect. Use vivid imagery and heartfelt words to describe your feelings and why she's special. Read it aloud or frame it as a gift. A personal poem is a thoughtful way to express your admiration and affection. 

8. Create a customized Spotify playlist.

Make a romantic playlist filled with “your” songs, love ballads, her favorite artists, and memorable tunes. Add sweet dedications naming the playlist after her. Give it to her on a CD or link. She can listen anywhere and be reminded of you. A custom playlist is a modern way to share music and sentiments. 

9. Take her on unexpected dates. 

Plan some creative and fun date nights she'll never forget. Go mini-golfing, take a pottery class together, or go on a hayride. Attend an amusement park, county fair, or hot air balloon festival. Trying new activities creates shared memories and bonding time.

10. Learn her love language. 

Read about the five love languages or ask her directly to learn how she best receives love. Is it gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, or physical touch? Then, focus on speaking her specific love language. Showing love in her language rather than your own builds intimacy. 

11. Write her encouraging notes.

Leave her little notes of encouragement and praise in places she'll find them. Tell her how proud you are of her accomplishments. Compliment her on a big presentation at work. Cheer her on as she goes after a goal. Uplifting words can brighten her whole day and make her feel supported.

12. Take her to a concert, play, or show.  

Treat her to tickets to see her favorite musician, comedian, Broadway tour, or local play. Look up upcoming shows and surprise her. Plan a special date at a venue you normally wouldn't go to. Experience something new together. A memorable show gives you shared experiences and lots to talk about.

13. Plan a trip based on her bucket list. 

Ask about her travel bucket list – the places she wants to visit most. Then, secretly plan a trip to one of those destinations as a surprise. Make all of the arrangements yourself. Seeing her reaction when you reveal the trip will be priceless. Fulfilling a shared dream brings you closer.

14. Recreate your first date.

Plan a creative redo of your very first date together. Return to the same restaurant or activity. Wear similar outfits and order the same food. Reminisce about your first impressions and early memories. Reliving your first date recaptures the magic. It shows how far your relationship has come.

15. Compile a relationship time capsule. 

Make a time capsule filled with memories of your relationship so far – movie stubs, pressed flowers, photos, ticket stubs, a playlist, and love letters. Exchange them on a special occasion. Read them together later to reminisce. The capsule commemorates all you've shared so far. 

16. Recreate her favorite movie scenes.

Research her favorite romantic movie scenes or classic cinematic moments. Then, recreate one just for her – lines, costumes, props, and all. Acting it out yourself makes it meaningful. Your effort and creativity will win her heart.

17. Take ballroom dance classes.

Sign up for ballroom dance classes like salsa, tango, or swing. Learning a fun partner dance together builds chemistry and intimacy. Master new moves during lessons, then show off your new skills by going dancing. Shared new experiences strengthen bonds.

18. Plan a scavenger hunt date.

Plan a romantic scavenger hunt, sending her to meaningful places with clues. End at a restaurant, concert, or romantic spot where you’re waiting. Or make an indoor hunt with clues hidden around your home ending with you and a gift. Creative adventures make lasting memories.

man at table giving woman gifts Court a Woman

19. Take her stargazing. 

On a clear night, spread out a blanket and take her stargazing. Escape from city lights to see the night sky fully. Download a stargazing app and look for constellations together. Bring hot chocolate or wine and cozy blankets. Sharing this quiet, awe-inspiring experience fosters intimacy. 

20. Make her dinner from scratch. 

Cook her a multi-course meal completely from scratch, like handmade pasta and sauce. Spend the day preparing it. Use family recipes or try a challenging new dish. The ultimate romantic dinner shows your dedication, passion, and talent. A homemade meal from the heart speaks volumes.

21. Perform or dedicate a song.

At an open mic night or just for her, sing her favorite love song. Or dedicate a romantic song on the radio to her and call in to request it. Showcasing your musical side displays creativity and emotion. Your song choice lets her know how you feel.

22. Focus on emotional intimacy first.

Don't rush physical intimacy. Spend quality time talking and listening first. Bond by sharing dreams, fears, and passions. Learn her heart and mind before her body. Emotional intimacy comes before physical. Courtship means appreciating her whole self. When physical intimacy happens, it will be much more meaningful.

23. Use old-fashioned manners.  

Open every door, pull out her chair, and insist on paying. Stand when she leaves the table, help her with her coat, and offer your arm when walking. Guide her gently by placing your hand on her lower back. Practicing gentlemanly manners shows respect, and these small courtesies make her feel valued.

24. Tell her what you admire about her.

Compliment her qualities like intelligence, creativity, determination, and humor. Write down all the things you admire and give it to her. Explain what makes her special. Sharing sincere admiration lets her know what you value most. Recognizing her gifts builds her confidence.

25. Ask to meet her family.

When the time feels right, ask to meet her parents and family. Offer to join her on a visit home or invite them to dinner. Getting to know them shows your interest goes beyond the short term. Bonding with her family displays commitment. Their approval means a lot to her.

What Are the Stages of Courting?

Courtship generally progresses through some typical stages as intimacy and commitment grow:

The Romantic Stage

This stage focuses on romance and short-term expressions of affection like flowers, gifts, and fancy dates. Efforts center on “wooing” her and sparking interest. Pet names, romantic gestures, and chasing illustrate desire. It's an exciting time of starry-eyed infatuation and stolen glances.

The Learning Stage 

Here, you devote time to really getting to know her on a deeper level – her passions, quirks, fears, and dreams. You have meaningful talks and engaging activities to learn her mind, heart, and soul. This stage builds emotional intimacy.

The Vision Stage

As a long-term relationship emerges, you begin picturing a shared future. You introduce each other to family. You envision her in your future goals and make joint plans. This stage reveals alignment in values, priorities, and pace.

When courted thoughtfully, each stage bonds you closer together toward a beautiful relationship.

How Long Should a Man Court a Woman?

There's no set timeline for courting. The focus should be on learning about each other at a comfortable pace, not rushing. Some experts suggest a minimum of six months to allow each stage to unfold naturally. 

Don't let infatuation push you too fast. Pay attention to signals about pace from her. If exclusivity feels right after a few months, discuss it. But don't assume. 

The goal is an evenly matched partnership, not pressuring commitment. With emotional intelligence and patience, you'll both know when the time is right.

Final Thoughts

In a world of swiping right, courting sets you apart. With sincerity and creativity, you can make her feel adored. Courtship is about romance, intention, and emotional investment. Show her that chivalry and true gentleness aren't relics of the past. Let courting pave the way to a meaningful relationship that can go the distance. She and your partnership are worth the effort.