It has happened to all of us: we’re dating someone, and things are going great until suddenly they disappear and ghost us.
We might not hear from them for weeks, months, or even years.
It’s one of the most frustrating experiences in the world.
And then, out of nowhere, like zombies, they show up again, asking for forgiveness, wanting another chance.
This time, they seem to have changed into the person we always wanted them to be.
Their behavior is entirely different, and they’re showering us with all their attention.
Why do they do this?
Why do men come back after no contact?
17 Common Reasons Why Men Come Back Months Later
If he disappeared and came back months later, don’t be flattered, it might not mean what you think. There are a few possible explanations, and below are 17 of them:
1. He’s Bored and Wants Some Attention
If you suddenly get the “hey, I miss you” text, he is likely bored and scrolling through his phone, looking for someone to talk to. Then, he saw your name on his contact list and thought, “Why not?”
Remember, he’s not looking for a relationship. He is just looking for someone to pass the time. This is especially true if he only contacts you late at night or when he’s had a few drinks.
It’s easy to fall into this trap. You think since he’s showing interest again that he must really like you. But in reality, he’s just lonely and looking for someone to entertain him. Don’t be that person.
2. He Wants to Boost His Ego
If you’ve been dating a while and suddenly he disappears, only to come back months later out of the blue, he could just be trying to boost his ego.
He knows you still want him and that by disappearing and reappearing later, he’s in the driver’s seat again.
This gives him the control and power he wants and needs, which is a huge turn-on for some men.
And if you want to keep him around, you’ll need to stroke his ego and give him the attention he’s craving. Such a man is not worth your time or energy, so it’s best to move on.
3. He Is Looking for a Rebound
If your relationship ended on bad terms and he’s trying to get back with you, it’s likely that he’s not over his last relationship and is using you as a rebound.
It isn’t fair to you, and it will only lead to more heartache down the road.
While rebound relationships can be fun and rewarding if both parties are on the same page, it’s best to steer clear if you’re not interested in getting back together with your ex. If he does come back, it’s best to politely decline and move on.
4. He Wants What He Can’t Have
If you’re wondering, “why do guys come back?” he probably just wants what he can’t have. If something is unattainable, it can be all the more desirable. The same principle applies to relationships.
If a guy thinks he can’t have you, he will want you even more. He will even be willing to climb mountains and swim the oceans to get to you.
If he senses that he is losing your interest, he may come back in an attempt to win you over. Such men are often not ready for a relationship.
He is likely stringing you along until he finds someone else. Don’t fall for it! You deserve better than that, not someone who only wants you when you’re gone.
5. He Realized he Made a Mistake and Wants You Back
We all make mistakes. And men are no exception. If a guy realizes he made a mistake by letting you go, he will return to try and fix things. He may even express regret for his actions and beg for your forgiveness.
Of course, if he is genuine and you feel he deserves forgiveness, you can give him another chance. But be sure to take things slow this time, and don’t let him take you for granted.
Likewise, don’t forget that he hurt you and be careful not to let it happen again. If he disappears again, it’s time to move on. There’s no point in dwelling on the past and constantly being hurt by the same person.
6. He Is Going Through a Tough Time and Needs Emotional Support
Everyone has moments in life where we feel like we can’t make it through on our own. This feeling is often amplified for men because they are socialized to believe they should always be strong and capable.
When a man is going through a tough time, he will likely keep to himself and push you away because he doesn’t want to burden you with his problems. But after some time has passed, he may realize that he needs someone to lean on and that you are the perfect person for the job.
If he needs emotional support, it’s up to you to decide whether you will support him or not. Ensure you consider the amount of hurt he caused when he disappeared and determine if you’re ready to forgive.
7. He Is Trying to Make His Ex Jealous
One of the most common reasons why men come back months later is because they’re trying to make one of their exes jealous.
If he disappears for a while and suddenly resurfaces out of the blue, he’s likely hoping to stir up some emotions in his ex. It could be his recent ex, an ex from years ago, or even a girl he’s been casually seeing.
He could be trying to reconnect with you to get back at his ex for moving on so quickly. Or, he may simply be trying to remind his ex what she’s missing out on.
Whatever the reason, if you’re being used as a pawn in someone else’s game, it’s not worth getting involved with him again.
8. He Wants to Make You Jealous
This is another common reason why men come back months later. They want to make you jealous and hope you’ll pay more attention to them.
He may reappear out of the blue with another woman on his arm or start dating someone new and flaunt it in front of you.
Either way, he’s hoping his actions will make you jealous enough to want him back.
If your ex is trying to make you jealous, it’s best to ignore him. Don’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he’s gotten to you. This is a way to stroke his ego, giving him a sense of power and control.
If you react, he’ll only keep doing it to get his desired reaction. The best thing you can do is move on and focus on your own happiness.
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9. He’s on a Dating Hiatus, and You’re the First Person he Contacted
If he’s been MIA for a while and suddenly pops back up out of the blue, it could be that he’s currently taking a break from dating.
It doesn’t necessarily mean that he wants to get back together with you, but it does mean that he still thinks about you and cares enough to reach out. And you just happened to be the first person he contacted when he got back on his feet again.
There could be various reasons why he needed a break from dating, but if you’re the first person he comes back to, it’s a good sign that you’re still on his mind.
He may not be ready for a relationship yet, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to talk to you and catch up. So, if he suddenly comes back after disappearing for a few months, don’t write him off just yet.
He could still be interested in you and just needs some time to sort things out.
10. He Has Commitment Issues
Men with commitment issues are often afraid of getting hurt again. They could have been burned in the past by an ex who wasn’t ready for a relationship, so they’re hesitant to get involved again.
But that doesn’t mean they don’t want a relationship at all. They may need some time to work through their commitment issues before they’re ready to take things to the next level.
If your guy disappeared and came back months later, he may have been scared of getting hurt or rejected, so he pulled away to see if you would still be interested in him when he returned.
11. He Was Not Ready for a Relationship
Sometimes, guys need a little time to get their lives together before they’re ready for a relationship. If he disappeared and came back months later, maybe he wasn’t ready for a relationship when you first started dating.
He may have needed some time to figure out his career, move into a new place, or get over an ex before he was ready to commit to you.
12. He Is Testing the Waters to See if You’re Still Interested
After ghosting you, most men will want to test the waters and see if you are still interested. He will start by liking your posts on social media or sending you a “hi” text out of the blue.
If you respond positively, he will take it as a sign that you are still interested in him and make his move. However, if you ignore him or give him the cold shoulder, he will get the message that you are not interested and move on.
13. He’s Not Over You
Sometimes, a man may come back months later because he’s not over you. Maybe he thought he was ready to move on, but after some time, he realized that he still had feelings for you.
If a man comes back and says that he’s not over you, it’s crucial to take him at his word. However, remember that he could just be using this as an excuse to try and get back together.
If you’re not interested in getting back together, let him know so that he doesn’t continue to string you along.
14. He Wants to Reconnect With You
In other cases, a man may come back months later because he wants to reconnect with you. He may have moved on emotionally, but he still wants to be friends.
If this is the case, being honest with him about your feelings is essential. Tell him he hurt you, and you’re not sure you can be friends.
If he’s sincere about wanting to reconnect, he’ll understand and give you the space you need.
15. He Knows That You’re Seeing Someone Else
A man could come back to you after he realizes that you’re moving on without him. He may resent that you’re happy with someone else and want to try and ruin your relationship.
If a man comes back after you’ve started seeing someone else, it’s essential to be honest with him about your feelings.
Tell him you’re happy with the person you’re seeing and don’t want to get back together. This will help him move on, and hopefully, he’ll leave you alone.
16. He Wants Validation That He Is Still Attractive and Desirable
We all want to feel desirable and attractive, especially to the opposite sex. Sometimes, a man may come back after no contact because he wants validation.
He wants to know that he can still turn your head and that you still find him attractive.
This is more of an ego boost and has nothing to do with wanting to get back together. If you find yourself in this situation, it’s important not to lead him on.
17. He Misses the Physical Intimacy
Often, a guy will come back because he just wanted to hook up. We have all been in this position.
If he is drunk and sending you flirty and suggestive texts at 1.00 am, there is a high chance that he just wants to sleep with you again.
Most girls often mistake this for genuine interest. “If he didn’t miss me, why is he drunk-texting me?” Don’t be flattered. He is just horny and looking for a quick release. If you’re okay sleeping with him, go for it. If not, don’t engage.
What to Do When a Guy Comes Back After Months
He texts you out of the blue after months of radio silence. You’re not sure what to do. After all, he’s the one who ghosted you in the first place.
However, it’s essential to keep your cool and play it smart. Below are six things you should do if a guy comes back after going MIA:
- Assess his intentions: Take time to consider why he might be reaching out after all this time. Maybe he realizes his mistake and wants to get back together. Or he feels nostalgic and wants to reminisce about good times together. Either way, you should take time to think about whether you wish to respond.
- Don’t rush to respond: Even if you want to talk to him, it’s important not to seem too eager. You don’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he still has a hold on you. Instead, take your time before responding. This will show him that you’re not going to just drop everything at his beck and call.
- Be confident: One of the reasons he’s reaching out could be because he’s realized that you’re a fantastic catch. He may have started dating someone new but found that she doesn’t compare to you. When you do talk to him, be confident in yourself and let him know what he’s missing out on.
- Be honest and straightforward: If you don’t want to get back together, you need to be honest with him. Tell him you’re not interested in getting hurt again, and you’ve moved on. This will hopefully deter him from trying to pursue you further.
- Be polite: Even if you don’t want anything to do with him, it’s essential to be polite. There’s no need to be rude or mean just because he hurt you in the past.
- Block his number: If you find that his texts are becoming too much, then it may be necessary to block his number. This will allow you to have some peace of mind and avoid any further contact with him.
So there you have it! The 17 reasons why men come back months after disappearing and ghosting you. If you’re wondering why he came back, chances are one (or more) of these reasons is why.
While moving on from a past relationship can be challenging, staying strong is essential. If a guy returns after disappearing, don’t let him take advantage of you. Be smart and protect yourself emotionally.