21 Surprising and Must-Know Psychological Facts About Soulmates

The concept of soulmates is reminiscent of a child's belief in Santa Claus. 

It's the idea of a person so filled with magic that they can find us in a world of eight billion people. 

Even formal definitions of soulmates conflict in dictionaries, as the experience is more felt subconsciously than a tangible asset. 

Many believe soulmates bring gifts that last a lifetime, and we take them with us when we pass. 

In fact, according to a Marist poll, 73% of Americans believe in soulmate relationships.

Others are more skeptical about the whole notion that a soulmate is anything more than having strong chemistry with someone.

Although there aren’t any solid scientific soulmate facts, there are plenty of anecdotal ideas about a soulmate relationship that believers support. 

Why It's Important to Know These Facts About Soulmates

Naysayers quickly dismiss the concept, especially when it's only rooted in hyperbole or as attainable as unicorns.

Knowing more about soulmates gives validity to the idea, with a special secret that you honestly won't know until it happens to you. 

  • To Be Open To It: Past hurt and betrayals can make it hard to trust. You should be open to the possibility that not everyone is as two-faced as your last “best friend.”  
  • To Let Down Your Guard: When we devise the “perfect” soulmate, be it a romantic partner or best friend, we create rules and dealbreakers. Knowing more about soulmates will help you be more attentive to connections that arise in impromptu settings. 
  • To Recognize Similar Terms: Not every soulmate slides glass slippers on before living happily ever after. Grey's Anatomy coined the “my person” moniker. “Kindred Spirits” is another popular term. Others choose to call it a Ying and Yang connection. 

21 Surprising And Must-Know Psychological Facts About Soulmates

In the global mental health crisis, we spend much time focused on what is wrong with our brains.

However, studies are still done on mental health virility, including incredible statistics about the long-lost soulmate. 

1. A Soulmate Doesn't Mean Romance

Sure, there are romantic soulmates, known as “The Love of Your Life,” but that's not the limit to soulmate potential. A person can have many soulmates in their orbit, serving different parts of the soul. 

That's why the aforementioned monikers help us better understand our soul-shaking connection with others. As much as love expands from partners to parents to children to friends, soulmates branch off similarly. 

2. A Soulmate Connection Isn't Lust

At least, it isn't always lust. Lust and sexual attraction are driven by estrogen and testosterone. You could be primally connected to someone on an intimate level, from pure sexual energy or a subconscious desire to procreate. 

While sexual desires do have an element of dopamine, the “feel-good” hormone, a soulmate connection is driven more by dopamine and oxytocin. Combining these hormones makes us happy and attached to a person without setting our loins on proverbial fire. 

Also, lust can (and usually is) fleeting. Soulmate intense feelings are for life, even when separated by long distances.

3. Soulmates Can Become Addicting and Damaging

Those same feel-good chemicals that bring soulmates together can also create the same addiction we get with unhealthy drug or alcohol use. When something, be it a person or a thing, makes you feel good – you want more of it. 

two sweet couple hugging each other psychological facts about soulmates

As long as you aren't neglecting friends, family, work, or personal life, it's great to have a partner. However, having a soulmate should not be used as a reason to endure disrespectful, manipulative, or abusive behavior. 

4. Soulmates Can and Do Disagree

When we wait for destiny to guide our lives, we create more space to build up the perfect intimate partner. It's wrongly assumed that soulmates won't argue with each other or that they have to enjoy doing all the same things. 

The beauty of a soulmate is that unconditional love and chemical attractions drive the boat, which builds trust and reliability, even during tough times. 

5. Soulmate Searches are Driven by Intuition

Proof of subconscious intuition is all around us. It's the parent who extends an arm when they slam on the brakes to avoid an accident. It's the dog who “nests” instinctively, even though they are centuries removed from the need to nest safely in the wild.

It's the same concept when something instinctively tells you to do something, and it can be as simple as your intuition telling you to go out when you'd normally stay home. 

The more we follow our intuition, like a muscle being worked on at the gym, the more we're likely to run into the magnetic connections of soulmates. 

6. Soulmates Aren't Singular

It's impossible to assume that if you feel you've met your soulmate, that's it for life. No limits exist on how many soulmates you can have, even in the same categories, such as friendship, romance, and work.

Let's break down the word to prove this point. Can you only have one roommate, classmate, or teammate?

Even a former NASA scientist did a study that assumed there was one soulmate for each person on earth. Without going into the data weeds, it turns out that you'd have a one in 10,000 lifetime chance of finding one perfect match. 

7. Soulmates Don't Complete You

It might feel like they do, with the subconscious attraction and flowing hormones, but you were a complete person before. If you've misjudged a soulmate, you'll still be a complete person when they are gone. 

Soulmates enhance an already good life. They are not missing pieces of a puzzle. To be more open to your intuition and to properly recognize a chemical attraction, you should love yourself first. 

8. Soulmate Connections Happen Instantly

You could be drawn to one particular person in a crowd of people, and they are just as eager to get to you. You feel like you've “known them forever” and “could tell them anything.”

The moment is as inseparable as two pieces of a magnet meeting. 61% of women and 72% of men firmly believe in love at first sight, according to a 2017 poll in Harper's Bazaar.

It's important to note that instant attraction or connections aren't always the joining of two souls. It's the longevity of a relationship that truly tests the soulmate's title. 

9. Soulmates Can Also Happen Over Time

If you don't feel an instant connection to someone, you might dismiss them from soulmate potential. Perhaps the timing was wrong, or you were ignoring gut instincts.

True soulmates will eventually find their way back to each other. Soulmates can also arise when one person moves away, but both stay in touch for years, catching up like no time has passed. 

10. Soulmates Aren't Just People You “Click” With

You might meet someone waiting in line at Chipotle that you “click with” and have a great conversation with for ten minutes and then never see them again. Chance meetings like this create nostalgia and regret of potentially “missing” your soulmate. 

Entire divisions of law enforcement, hostage negotiation, and homeland security are devoted to the art of “clicking” with people.

When a hostage negotiator “clicks” with a suspect holding a family at gunpoint, it's not a soulmate connection. 

11. Soulmates Help with Stress

A soulmate's trust, loyalty, and devotion help us get through tough times. Knowing that person has your back can reduce cortisol levels before they've even said a word.

The intuitive nature of the relationships helps each other sense when the other is stressed, sad, or anxious. 

12. Soulmates Help with Self-Confidence

Every human is wonderfully unique, but internally individuals can see their unique traits as drawbacks. We can often feel misunderstood or abnormal in a seemingly normal world. 

You feel seen and heard when you have a soulful connection with someone. You'll realize those same unique traits seen in each other help forge the bond. 

13. Soulmates Aren't Always Similar 

Commonality usually brings soulmates together, whether it's a shared hobby, the same workplace, or the same musical tastes. Sometimes, that's where similarities end. 

Even the psychology behind the theory “opposites attract” is rooted in the belief that we are all searching for someone to complement our weak areas.

This is evident when an introvert and an extrovert fall for each other or when an adventure seeker teams up with a couch potato. 

14. Soulmates Aren't Always Opposites

As soon as one study can prove that opposites attract, another can provide counterintelligence and dispel that theory. We're more likely to find soulmates through shared experiences, which is more of a mathematical certainty than anything. 

You're just more likely to meet people like you on a daily basis, increasing your odds of making that special connection. 

15. Soulmates Can Arise from Trauma

When a person experiences a traumatic situation, like the death of a child or a cheating spouse, it can feel isolating without someone understanding how we're feeling. 

We can meet people who normally wouldn't cross paths through support groups, social media forums, and counseling. The strong connection can serve a lifetime of unconditional support and appreciation. 

16. Soulmate Connections Cross Time and Space

While we think of soulmates as just a text or phone call away, we can feel a deep connection similar to that of a soulmate when we learn history or read non-fiction. 

Some people might feel particularly inspired by “Unsinkable Molly Brown” from the Titanic. A connection might happen in an old family photo where you feel drawn to someone in the group. 

17. Soulmates Can Be Animals

Ask any elderly lifetime dog lover, and they'll tell you about one of two special pets that stood out from the rest. 

While we're easily emotionally connected to devoted animals, you can find a soulful connection in the dog that always cuddled when you were sad or the cat that hissed at that bad decision you brought home from college. 

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18. Soulmates Aren't Sought Out

People might say they are looking for their soulmates, but history shows these magical connections just happen. Soulmates don't really look for each other, but they do find each other. 

There could be a higher power at work, be it your God or the universe's energy, but in the end, you don't walk into a room of people looking into each person's eyes, trying to find a soulful connection. 

19. Soulmates Can't Be One-Sided

Raise your hand if you ever believed that Justin Timberlake or Justin Bieber was your soulmate. An attraction or appreciation for a person's talents, especially when that person is in the limelight, doesn't mean both souls are connecting. 

While the word fanatic has a negative tone, bordering on obsession, you can be a devoted fan that connects with music or performances without actually being a soulmate. Shared life experiences combined with the connection are soulmate ingredients. 

20. Soulmates Aren't Always Forever

Nowhere in the soulmate bible is there a guaranteed Happily Ever After. Like angels from heaven, soulmates can come into our lives at specific times. 

Using a Hollywood analogy, look at the movie Brokeback Mountain. Does anyone disagree that Jack and Ennis were soulmates?

While particulars of the situation, mixed with an untimely death, prevented the lifelong connection, the soulmate energy lived on well after the closing credits. 

21. Soulmates Don't Need to Brag about Being Soulmates

Since this is a unique connection, how public or private you want it to be is up to you. Walking up to your friends and saying, “This is my soulmate, Kyle,” might garner some awkward looks. 

You can enjoy the benefits of these precious connections in your own way. Speaking too much about strong bonds risks hurting the feelings of other friends in your group, so ensure everyone you are close to knows their individual value in your life. 

Final Thoughts

While science and psychology can prove the idea that soulmates exist, you could just as easily find an article with science backing up that soulmates don't exist. Research and data aside, you should always be open to relationships that feed your soul. 

Don't set unrealistic expectations using a word as powerful as “soulmate.”  You don't even have to believe in soulmates to experience intense and unyielding connections to other people. Call it whatever you want.