When going through a tough time, you may find yourself on a downward spiral, looking for comfort with self-pity.
Whether you’ve been wronged by someone else or certain choices have taken you down a bad path, it’s in our nature to fixate on blaming or feeling sorry for yourself.
This pattern might feel inescapable.
Similar to a monkey swinging through a forest, grasping vine after vine, humans have a tendency to grab onto one self-pitying thought and swing to the next.
It’s not until we are deep into the dark jungle, feeling too scared to jump down, that we start looking for a way out.
To help take those steps back home, we have found 13 ways to overcome self-pity.
How do I get rid of self-pity?
What does it mean when you feel sorry for yourself and how can you stop?
When we go through a spiral, it isn’t always as easy as taking a deep breath.
That can certainly help, but many of the causes are more deeply rooted in issues of self-esteem and often anxiety.
Self-pitying can feel good a first, like hiding under the covers.
We build this mechanism for ourselves as children and often maintain it through adulthood to protect the wounded kid that we still carry with us.
We are all capable of finding better coping mechanisms for pain and loss.
This means acknowledging and thanking the protective part of yourself while asking it to step aside so that you can take action to feel better. Here are a few first steps:
- Open up to a friend. We’ve all gone through moments of self-pity, and your friends can be there to help. They might know you better than you know yourself.
- Seek counseling from a therapist if you aren’t able to stop the cycle on your own. While therapy is expensive without insurance, many local mutual aid groups can offer assistance for affordable mental health care.
- Stop being mad at yourself for self-pitying. It's a totally normal feeling, and it won’t last forever. Beating yourself up for feeling bad about yourself is a part of the cycle.
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