Did your partner decide to be a scapegrace and break up via text?
You’re probably livid and ready to rake them through a heap of hot garbage.
But before unleashing the fury, step back and think about how going full Targaryen could ricochet on you.
In most cases, it’s best to let your cooler head prevail to maintain your dignity.
To ensure you come out on top and get a semblance of closure, we’ve outlined things to say when someone breaks up with you via text.
- Should You Respond to a Text Breakup by Texting Back?
- How to Respond to a Breakup Text: 13 Ways To Respond And Maintain Your Dignity
- If You’re Furious
- If You’re Confused
- If You Don’t Care and Know It’s Best
Should You Respond to a Text Breakup by Texting Back?
The phone dings, you look down, and there it is: a breakup text.
Ultimately, you have two options: respond or don’t. The next question becomes: How do you decide?
When weighing the options, consider the following questions:
- Did you genuinely think the relationship was going somewhere? Do you feel like you were misled?
- How long did you date?
- What was the relationship dynamic?
- Do you live in the same time zone?
Try to look at the situation as objectively as possible.
Do you know in your gut that the partnership was headed to Nowheresville, but are you holding out hope in your heart that things turn around?
If so, it may be time to think about why you want to hold onto something that’s not serving you.
Or perhaps you have things on your chest you need to vent for the benefit of your mental health. In those cases, texting back may be the best option.
How to Respond to a Breakup Text: 13 Ways To Respond And Maintain Your Dignity
As the old song says, “breaking up is hard to do!” Responding to being dumped can be even more difficult.
But with a bit of thought and planning, you can handle it with dignity and respect. Let’s explore the best responses to being dumped by text.
If You’re Furious
Sometimes, you must let the lion loose and tell your former partner precisely what’s on your ticked-off mind! Here are a few suggestions for when the wrath swoops in.
The Thank You Approach
Thank you for exiting my life. Knowing that I can move forward without you dragging me down is a relief.
This is exceptionally snarky and, frankly, mean. But sometimes, it’s perfectly acceptable to vent your frustration and express your hurt in a way that’s satisfying to you.
Sure, we all strive to be as kind and compassionate as possible, but life is complicated and often messy, which calls for a more direct approach.
The Laundry List
A-men! Now I won’t have to deal with [insert list of indiscretions].
Is the dump-er a scoundrel? Were they the one who caused mountains of problems in the relationship?
Were you constantly “picking up” after their irresponsibility and disrespect? Then let them know that you know how difficult they were.
I’m appalled that you’re ending the relationship by text. Do you not realize how inconsiderate it is?
Words have power, and they’re linked to memories and feelings. When carefully chosen, they can pack a powerful punch.
In this example, “inconsiderate” does a lot of heavy lifting. It’s one of those words that makes people feel like they’re being fairly scolded, and it evokes pure, concentrated guilt.
Tell It Like It Is
Honestly, I’m disgusted you opted to break up over text. It’s immature and disrespectful. Your lack of courtesy is astounding. On the bright side, you’ve proven that I dodged a deadly bullet.
Let the vitriol free! Make sure your ex knows exactly how furious you are about how they handled the situation. Sometimes, getting authentic emotions off your chest is the best way to keep your mental health intact.
Just make sure you don’t want to get back together in the future. Being this blunt does not invite reconciliation.
If You’re Confused
Unsure what you want to happen? Do you think the breakup is temporary or a compulsive action that your partner will regret in a few hours or days?
If so, you’ll likely want to lower the temperature. Here are some suggestions for things to say.
Why Are You Doing This?
I’m confused as to why you’re doing this. Everything seemed to be going so well. Can you fill me in on what prompted this decision?
Understand that sending a message like this conveys that you’d still have feelings and would like the relationship to continue. If you do and believe that honesty is genuinely the best policy, then this is the way to go.
In the best-case scenario, they may message back, sparking a resolution-spawning conversation ending in reunification. In the worst-case scenario, you learn they’re simply not into you anymore.
Either way, you will survive and, after a little pain, will rise and thrive once again. Why? Because you aren’t defined by who you date.
Wow. I’m disappointed and saddened to learn that this is how you feel. I’m confused, but if this is your decision, so be it.
Think back to your teenage years (or perhaps you’re a teenager now). Which filled you with more guilt: parents getting mad or expressing extreme disappointment in your actions?
Most people would cite the latter as the more devastating of the two.
The dynamic works with partners, too. Revealing your disappointment is like dropping an ethics grenade, forcing them to examine how their actions resulted in an explosion. Simultaneously, it leaves the door open for discussion.
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I Would Have Preferred
This is an unfortunate way to handle the situation. I would have preferred that we had this conversation face to face. I’m hurt that you chose to go this route.
Preferred is another word that catches people in the “feels.” When deployed in tense times, it’s equally polite, humble, and biting. Furthermore, admitting you’re hurt demonstrates vulnerability, strength, and honesty — the three pillars of dignity.
If you go this route, don’t send dozens of follow-up messages. Say your piece and commit to putting the ball in their court. If they text back and kickstart a conversation, great. You can get more answers. If they ghost, let them flap in the wind and disappear from your life.
It’s a Shame
It’s a shame we couldn’t make things work. Breaking up by text isn’t exactly chivalrous, but I guess it’s better than ghosting.
This one falls on the snarkier side of the scale but also provides a window for reconciliation. It expresses disappointment and scolds the recent ex for picking a cowardly delivery method. That said, it doesn’t slam the door shut.
I’m Genuinely Shocked
This is unexpected. What happened, and why are you doing this over text?
Are you a straightforward person? If so, this may be the perfect way to respond to a breakup text.
It’s short and incisive, yet it doesn’t give away too much. Furthermore, it conveys an air of strength while providing an opportunity to continue the conversation.
If You Don’t Care and Know It’s Best
Have you been contemplating breaking it off with your estranged partner? Do you know in your heart of hearts that splitting is probably the best decision? If so, don’t create unnecessary drama.
Everyday life dishes out enough of it already. So save yourself the associated stress by sending a neat, to-the-point rejoinder.
We Both Knew
We both knew a breakup was on the horizon, so I respect your decision to end it. Best of luck to you.
Be honest: Have you been expecting this text to arrive sooner or later? Were you thinking of sending it yourself? Heck, did relief surge through your spine upon reading it? Then don’t drag it out. Be polite for etiquette’s sake, dust yourself off, and move on with your head held high.
Sounds great, and thanks for doing the “deed.” Neither of us has been happy for a while, so it makes sense to end things.
Are they expecting you to fight, wail, and cry over the breakup? Is that why they chose the most disrespectful way to do it? Flip the script and act nonplussed; it’s an attractive response to being dumped that throws the dumpee off-guard. After all, you deserve to be treated better.
Guess It’s Over
Welp, it’s over, then. I’m fine with the decision and think it’s for the best. We really have nothing more to say to each other. Take care.
This is another I-wash-my-hands-of-you response. If you’re unbothered by the situation, this is a great way to maintain your dignity, acknowledge the message, and put a pin in the failed relationship.
If you genuinely don’t care, why say anything in return? If your now-ex wants to handle things in such an immature manner, take it as a sign they’re not worth your time and move on. Who says you must have a long, drawn-out closure session?
Getting dumped by text doesn’t feel great, but you should not internalize the hurt or see it as a negative reflection on yourself.
You’re probably hurting now, but try to remember that the right person will show up at the right time. Or perhaps you’ll discover that you prefer being single.