The 17 Most Common (And Heart-breaking) Signs He’s Just Not That Into You

Modern dating is not for the faint of heart. 

It’s a minefield that can leave you feeling drained and defeated, especially when trying to maneuver through a one-sided relationship.

“Is he really into me?” “Should I keep trying, or should I let it go?” 

If you’ve been asking yourself these questions, chances are he’s just not that into you.

While we often see red flags at the beginning of a relationship, sometimes they are a bit more subtle and difficult to spot.

Let’s explore some tell-tale signs that he’s not interested in taking things further and look at advice to help you move on.

17 Most Common Signs He's Not Into You 

If you're on the fence about how he feels, here are 17 signs that can help you decide.

1. You’re Always the One Making Plans

Does the guy you're seeing always wait for you to contact him first regarding any plans you have together? Are you always the one initiating the said plans? If so, it's a sure indication that he's not interested.

While it's natural for two people to take turns making plans, if a guy is interested in you, he will go out of his way to ensure he sees you as often as possible.

He will ask you out on a second date, make plans for the weekend, or even surprise you with a date night out of the blue.

If he's always leaving it up to you to get things going and is content with you taking the lead, it's a pretty good indication that he's not all that invested in the relationship

2. His Responses Are Short and Unenthusiastic

Texting is an integral part of modern relationships. It's how we keep in touch, make plans, and even flirt with one another.

If you text the guy you're seeing or your boyfriend and he responds with one-word answers or takes a long time to reply, it's a sign that he's not interested.

If his responses are short, dull, and lack enthusiasm, it might be a good idea to re-evaluate the relationship.

But if he takes time to craft thoughtful responses, shows signs of engagement, and seems genuinely excited about your conversations, you have nothing to worry about.

3. He Doesn’t Introduce You to His Friends or Family

When a guy is excited about a woman, he wants to show her off.

If he likes you, he will likely introduce you to those closest to him, like his family and friends. He’ll invited you to family events or outings with his friends so that they can get to know you better.

However, if you have been seeing him for a couple of months and he still hasn't introduced you to any of his friends or family, it is a major red flag that he's not into you.

He may be trying to hide the relationship from those closest to him because he knows they won't approve or because he doesn't see the relationship going anywhere.

He could also be in a committed relationship with someone else and doesn’t want to raise suspicion.

4. He Can’t Seem To Commit to Plans

Making plans is how two people get to know each other better and develop a stronger bond. It's the epitome of courtship.

But if he's never available for a date night or can't commit to a specific plan, it's likely because he isn't willing to invest his time in the relationship.

He makes up bogus excuses such as having to work late or having family commitments, but you can tell when someone is genuinely busy and when they just don't want to see you.

If his actions don't match his words, it indicates that he's not into you. A captivated man will make time for the woman he likes and will be excited to make plans with her.

So it's time to move on if he's constantly pushing you off or not following through. There's someone who will value your time out there!

5. He Avoids Physical Contact

Physical contact is a huge indicator of a man's interest in you. If he's not captivated by you, chances are he won't try to touch you, hug or hold your hand.

Even if you catch him looking at you, his gaze doesn't linger, and he quickly looks away. He might even take a few steps back if you try to get closer to him.

If he's not into you, he won't give any gestures of affection.

6. He Wants To Keep Things Casual

“I'm not into relationships.” “I don't do labels.” “Let's just see where it goes between us”

Does he keep making these statements every time you bring up having a relationship? Chances are he wants to keep things casual and isn't intent on taking things further.

He might be keen on seeing you, but he doesn't want anything too serious. If this is the case, it's time to move on and look for someone who will give you what you deserve – a committed relationship.

7. He Avoids Romantic Gestures

One of the surest indications that he’s just not that into you is if he never wants to go out of his way to make romantic gestures.

This could be anything from taking you on a surprise date, sending you flowers on your birthday, or even hugging you when you really need it.

These small acts scream, “I really care about you,” and if he’s not doing them, chances are, he doesn’t feel the same way you do.

While some people can be naturally more reserved with their affections, it's essential to know the difference between being romantically reserved and not being interested at all.

8. He Flirts With Other Women When You’re Around

Another tell-tale sign of his lack of interest is when he behaves differently around other women when you're around.

Does he start flirting or laughing more when other women are around, even if it's just a little bit? Does he seem more focused on talking to them than he is with you?

These small behavioral changes can signal that the person has checked out and isn't into you.

It's also quite disrespectful when your man is flirting with other women in front of you. If this is the case, it’s best to move on.

9. You Receive Bread Crumbs of His Affection

When he's not into you, he'll give you the bare minimum of attention. You might get like a crumb here and there, but it's not the same amount someone who genuinely cares about you would give.

If you're used to getting texts whenever something interesting happens in his life, and suddenly, he only responds when it's convenient for him or if you reach out first, chances are he's not as enthralled as he once was.

When someone likes you, they'll make time for you – no matter how busy their life is. If they can't take the time to respond or check in with you, chances are they don't care much about you.

At the same time, be aware that some people are just terrible at communicating – so if you're not sure what's going on with him, it’s okay to ask. You don't have to suffer in silence and make assumptions.

If it turns out he has been bread-crumbing you all along, then thank your lucky stars and move on.

10. You Can’t Remember the Last Time He Did Something Nice for You

When you started going out, he probably brought you flowers, made you dinner, or took you out for drinks.

Now, his acts of kindness have dried up, and all the thoughtful gestures are a thing of the past. All he does is take from you and never give anything in return.

You're always doing nice things for him, like surprising him with his favorite dish or picking up his favorite candy bar from the store, but he never does the same for you. That's a huge red flag that he no longer appreciates or values your presence.

It's time to be realistic and accept that he may have lost interest in you or never had any real feelings for you in the first place.

11. He Doesn’t Know Anything About You

When you genuinely like someone, you learn as much as possible about them. You'll even try to remember the little details about their lives, from how they bite their lips when thinking to what type of sandwich they like the most.

So, if you've been talking to a guy for a while and he still doesn’t seem to know anything about you, it's not by mistake; it's an intentional choice on his part.

He's not investing the time and effort to get to know you because he's just not that dazzled by you. That’s a sure sign it's time for you to move on!

12. You Can’t Turn To Him for Any Help

If you're looking for a helping hand, you're not going to find it with him. He's the kind of guy who's all about himself and won't lift a finger to help you out. He's likely to take advantage of your situation and use it to his advantage.

So, if you're in trouble, you'll often find yourself turning to other people for help instead of him. You may feel uncomfortable or embarrassed even to ask him for help, and that's a huge red flag.

Don't waste your time on someone unwilling to lend a helping hand. That’s one of the biggest signs that he is not into you!

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13. He Isn’t Jealous When You’re Around Other Guys

Deep down, a man will feel jealous when the woman he likes is talking to another dude. He may not show it openly, but you can bet his mind is racing with emotions.

He may start a conversation with you when the other guy is around or try to get closer to you to mark his territory.

However, if your man is cool when other guys are around and doesn't seem to care at all, then it's a clear indication that he doesn’t like you.

He may be playing the field and wants nothing more than some fun with no strings attached, or he may not be intrigued by you romantically. In any case, it’s time to look elsewhere.

14. He Avoids Cuddling or Intimacy

Most people want to feel close and connected with their partner, both emotionally and physically.

Acts of physical touch such as cuddling, holding hands, or even just a hug can bring couples closer and make them feel more connected.

However, when you don't like someone, the last thing you want is to cuddle with them. If your partner avoids any physical connection with you, it's a clear sign that he's just not into you.

No matter how much you want to cuddle up on the couch together or how often you try to get close to him, if he constantly pulls away from you physically and emotionally, it's time to wake up and smell the coffee – he’s probably not eager to go forward.

15. He Always Makes You Wait

In his world, you're the queen of waiting. You may wait three days for him to call you after the first date, weeks for him to invite you out again, and months for any type of commitment. He'll even make you wait for a simple text or call back.

If you're constantly waiting for him to reach out, that's a sign he's not interested in investing his time and energy into you.

He's likely keeping you on the back burner just in case something better comes along or until he finds someone more compatible with him.

16. He Never Contacts You During Major Holidays

Major holidays such as Christmas, Thanksgiving, or New Year's Eve are a time to be with family and loved ones.

These holidays allow us to spend quality time with those we care about and make special memories.

If your partner never includes you in any of his holiday plans and he always has reasons why you can't be together during these holidays, it's a sign that he's just not that into you.

Whether with his family or another girl, he's likely making other plans, and you're simply not part of them.

17. He Is Seeing Multiple Girls at the Same Time

Whether in a committed relationship or just going on casual dates, if your partner sees multiple girls simultaneously, it's a sure sign that he's not planning on investing in just one woman.

He may be telling you he likes you and even taking you out on dates, but it could all just be an act. He is probably stringing other women along as well.

It can be quite disrespectful and hurtful, so if you suspect he's seeing multiple girls, it's best to cut your losses and move on.

What To Do When He’s Not That Into You

If the signs above are familiar and you think your partner is just not that excited about you anymore, it's time to take steps to protect yourself.

It's important to remember that a person who truly loves and cares about you will make an effort to be with you, call you back, or at least tell you how he feels.

If you're in this situation, take the steps below to protect yourself:

  • Stop making excuses for him: If he's not showing any effort and is always canceling plans with you, don't make excuses or justifications for his behavior. Instead, accept that he's not interested and it’s time for you to move on.
  • Acknowledge how you feel and be honest with yourself: How much do you care bout him? How much have you invested in the relationship? Acknowledging and accepting that you have feelings for him, even if he isn't that into you, is the first step to healing.
  • Make time for yourself: Focusing on yourself and working on your self-esteem is key during this difficult time. Accepting rejection is never easy, so take time to practice self-care and look after your mental health.
  • Find support from friends and family: Talk to close friends and family about how you feel. It can be comforting to share your emotions with people who care about you. This can also give you the strength to move on and make better decisions for yourself.
  • Take your power back: Don’t keep trying to win someone over who isn't serious about pursuing a relationship. Instead, take control of your life and focus on finding someone better for you. It's important to remember that rejection isn't always personal – sometimes, two parties just aren't compatible.
  • Take care of yourself: Focus on your needs, goals, and interests. Take the time to focus on yourself and do things that make you happy. While it can be hard to walk away, it's important to remember that you are worth more than someone who doesn't make an effort.

Now You Know He Isn’t Into You: Time To Move On

It's important to remember that if someone isn't interested in you anymore, there's nothing wrong with that, and it doesn't mean there is something wrong with you! It's simply a sign that it was not meant to be, and you deserve someone who will love you for who you are.

So take the time to heal, and open yourself up to finding true love with someone who is right for you.