19 Surprising Things Men Are Attracted To in Women (But Won’t Admit)

Figuring out what qualities men find irresistible in a woman is tricky business. 

Though they may not openly admit it, certain surprising traits drive men wild about women. 

And no, we're not talking about the obvious physical attributes here. 

We're diving deeper. 

From the little mannerisms she's unaware of to her innate sensibilities, the things men are attracted to reveal a lot about the male psyche. 

Let’s unpack some of the most alluring things men secretly find attractive in a woman – quirks she likely never realized were her superpowers when it comes to charming men.

What Makes a Woman Attractive to a Man?

It's no secret that men are visual creatures. 

But there's more to attraction than meets the eye. 

couple having coffee what do men find attractive in women

When it comes to what entices men the most, science shows it's a combination of qualities that most women actually possess but don't always flaunt. 

From your inherent femininity to your quirky personality, men are drawn to certain traits in women that speak to their instincts.

In general, here are some of the things that make a woman wildly attractive to a man:

  • Confidence and self-assurance: A woman who knows who she is and what she wants is magnetic to men. Quiet confidence is key.
  • Playfulness and sense of humor: Being fun and lighthearted is super seductive. Men love a woman who can make them laugh.
  • Mysteriousness and intrigue: Leaving some things to the imagination gives men something to be curious about.
  • Femininity: Embracing your female sensibilities and qualities entices men.

Now, let's get into the specific traits and behaviors men say they find irresistible in a woman.

What Men Find Attractive in Women: 19 Magnetic Traits He Loves

There are certain qualities that clearly stand out when it comes to what draws men to women.

Scientists have studied the specific traits that men say trigger attraction, and their findings reveal that some surprisingly feminine behaviors and characteristics tend to captivate the male mind.

Here are 19 magnetic traits that men can't resist in a woman.

1. A Playful, Lighthearted Spirit

Men are drawn to women who have a youthful, playful spirit. This doesn’t mean acting childish. It means being able to be silly at times and not always taking yourself too seriously. A playful woman knows how to laugh at herself and doesn’t get offended easily. 

Playfulness indicates creativity, intellect, and openness and conveys a sense of youthfulness, which men find highly attractive. Show your playful side by being adventurous, laughing at jokes, teasing him harmlessly, and maintaining a lighthearted outlook on life. Find the balance of being able to be playful and serious when appropriate. 

2. Quiet Confidence and Self-Assurance

A confident woman who believes in herself and knows what she wants is extremely appealing to men. Confidence indicates strength and capability, which are very feminine qualities despite what some may think. But beware of crossing into arrogance, which is never attractive. 

man helping woman to her feet what do men find attractive in women

Firmly acknowledge your self-worth and abilities without having to broadcast it to everyone or act superior. It also means holding your head high during challenging times and handling setbacks with grace. Men love seeing that you won’t crumble under pressure and admire a woman who faces her fears. 

3. Fierce Independence and Motivation

Men are attracted to independent women who are motivated and determined. Independence shows that you can handle responsibilities with competence. You don’t rely on others to meet your needs. Being financially and emotionally self-sufficient proves you won’t be a clingy or needy partner. 

You can nurture your independent spirit by pursuing your interests and hobbies. Don’t be afraid to do things on your own sometimes. And don’t forget to speak up for what you want and set firm boundaries. Earn your own income, and don’t take advantage of others. Your inner strength and resilience will be irresistible to men who want an equal partner, not a damsel in distress.

4. Passion and Purpose

Are you a woman who is passionate about her interests, career, or causes she cares about? When you feel genuinely excited about something, it brings out your inner radiance. Passion gives you a sense of purpose and vibrant energy. 

Figure out what matters most to you besides relationships and pursue it zealously. Be ambitious about your dreams. Dive into hobbies that light you up inside and support causes you believe in. Your passion will reveal your soulful and sensual nature. It will also indicate to men that you have a rich inner life beyond just a romantic relationship.

5. Sexual Confidence 

A woman who owns her sexuality and feels confident in her skin is extremely attractive to men. By sexual confidence, we don’t mean being over the top or trashy. It’s about understanding your feminine allure and feeling comfortable expressing your sensuality in subtle, classy ways.

These expressions might include wearing clothes that make you feel beautiful and moving your body in sensual, fluid ways. Hold eye contact for an extra beat or two. Embrace your curves. Attune to your cycles of desire and explore your pleasure. When you feel sensually awakened, it shows up as an irresistible, poised glow. Men can sense it instantly.

6. Intelligence and Curiosity

Most men find smart women who can hold thoughtful conversations incredibly attractive. Intelligence indicates an ability to problem-solve, understand complex ideas, and challenge a man's mind. But flaunting your intellect or acting superior is a turn-off. 

If you want to nurture your intelligence, try reading books on varied topics, keeping up with current events, and continuing to learn and grow your knowledge. When you have informed opinions, you can contribute to discussions rather than trying to show off what you know. 

7. Loyalty and Trustworthiness

Men deeply respect loyalty and find it very attractive in a woman. Being loyal conveys that you are someone who can be trusted. It also indicates that you won't be quick to leave when times get tough but will stick it out. 

You can show your loyal spirit by supporting the people you care about. Be trustworthy with secrets your man shares, and stand up for him when others criticize him. Keep your word and follow through consistently. Your steadfastness will prove to your man he's found a rare gem.

8. Kindness and Compassion for Others

Kindness is one of the most attractive and irresistible traits in a woman. Men admire women who are compassionate, considerate, and giving. It conveys your nurturing spirit. But beware of people taking advantage of your kindness. 

woman kissing man on cheek what do men find attractive in women

Reveal your kind nature through small acts like holding doors, being patient with strangers, and tipping generously. Check on elderly neighbors. Volunteer at animal shelters. Forgive mistakes. Offer encouragement. However, don't allow others to walk all over you – set boundaries with toxic people. True kindness means preserving your inner peace, too.

9. A Positive, Upbeat Attitude 

Do you tend to be a Debbie Downer or a woman with a positive attitude who sees the glass as half full? Having an upbeat view of life is a breath of fresh air to men and indicates resiliency and optimism. Your high energy brightens the mood. 

But balance your positive attitude with realism. Be encouraging, but don't minimize serious issues. You can find the silver linings without ignoring real problems. Express gratitude for what you have and try to focus on solutions, not complaints. Exude hope about the future. Men will feel recharged being around your can-do perspective.

10. A Classy Style

Men are attracted to women who dress and carry themselves in a classy, elegant way. This means not dressing overly sexy or sloppy. Your style should showcase your inner confidence.

Wear well-fitting, high-quality fabrics and styles that flatter your figure. Choose an elevated casual style for every day, but don’t be afraid to glam up now and then. Take pride in your appearance with flattering hair and makeup. Move with grace and stand tall. A woman with a tasteful style sends the message she respects herself. 

11. Vulnerability and Openness

Men are drawn to women who aren't afraid to let their guard down at times and be vulnerable. Appropriate vulnerability indicates emotional availability, trust, and a willingness to connect on a deeper level. Of course, oversharing or dramatic displays are unappealing. 

Men want you to feel safe revealing your vulnerable side by sharing your fears and insecurities – but don’t do it excessively. You can be open about any difficult past experiences that shaped you while still conveying resilience and strength. Express your emotions genuinely when appropriate, and ask for help when you need it. A strong yet sometimes vulnerable woman shows she is human with real feelings and desires for true intimacy. 

12. Nurturing Spirit

A big part of femininity is nurturing. Women who exhibit a caring, supportive, and giving spirit appeal deeply to men's instincts to protect and provide. Just beware of being exploited. 

Reveal your nurturing side by taking care of him when he is sick and supporting his career dreams. Compliment him. Create a warm, comfortable ambiance in your shared living space. Show interest in his passions. A nurturing woman brings out the best in her man, which makes him want to commit to and cherish her.

13. Affection 

Men crave physical affection and are drawn to women who lavish them with non-sexual touch like hugs, hand holding, cuddling, and goodbye kisses. It satisfies their longing for physical connection. 

Show affection often – but don’t smother the guy. Greet him with a hug and kiss and snuggle up close when sitting together. Squeeze his hand for reassurance when needed or touch his arm when conversing. Thoughtful, loving touch makes a man feel special and bonded to you.

14. Shared Values

Men seek women who share their values, as it provides a vital foundation of compatibility. Of course, you don't have to agree on everything. But similar ethics, morals, and principles are key.

Determine your must-have shared values like integrity, helping others, intellectual curiosity, and positivity. Ensure you agree on major issues like sex, finances, and views on marriage and family. Healthy conflict is fine but beware of seriously clashing values, which spell inevitable conflict. Overall, compatibility is about shared values at the core. This builds a solid foundation.

15. Listening with Attention

Men often complain women don't listen attentively. For men, good listening indicates caring, empathy, and trustworthiness. It also makes them feel respected. 

Become a better listener by maintaining eye contact, nodding, and facing him fully without interrupting. Reflect back to him what you hear him say, and ask thoughtful follow-up questions. Do your best to listen without judging or getting distracted. This simple skill draws him closer and conveys that you value what he says. 

16. Strong Intuition

Women tend to be highly intuitive, and men are drawn to women who embrace their sixth sense. Your intuition reveals your wisdom and deep insight into people and situations that logic can’t capture. Learn to trust your gut feelings and act on your inner knowing when it feels right. 

You can share your intuitive impressions with your man if they concern him without being paranoid or weirdly superstitious. Make intuitive decisions from a grounded, centered place balanced by your logical brain and experience. Your refreshing openness to your inner wisdom will be irresistible.

17. Attention to Health and Fitness 

Men admire a woman who takes care of her health and prioritizes fitness. This shows self-respect and that you'll still look and feel good years down the road. You don't have to be a supermodel – just show you care.

Show your guy how important this value is by eating nutritious foods, exercising regularly, managing stress, and getting enough sleep. Take time to pamper yourself as well with relaxing baths, massages, or whatever helps you recharge. When you care about your physical and mental health, your natural radiance shines through.

18. Sense of Adventure and Curiosity

Men love an open-minded woman who is eager to explore the world. A passion for travel and learning about other cultures reveals your curious spirit and zest for life. And who doesn’t find that attractive?

Read books about interesting places, try exotic cuisines, and learn foreign languages. Immerse yourself in varied experiences, from local cultural festivals to international adventures. Stay up-to-date on global affairs. Your thirst for global discovery and perspective will be contagious.  

19. Growth Mindset

You're excited to step outside your comfort zone and see challenges as opportunities to learn. This mental agility keeps things exciting and shows your guy you don’t want to stagnate or rest on your laurels.

Sign up for new classes, train for races, or join local groups to meet new people. Don't shy away from healthy debates or delving into new topics. Adopt a beginner's mindset without having to prove yourself. An expanding, curious mindset keeps your man enthralled and inspired to grow with you.

How Do You Know If a Man Finds You Attractive?

Determining if a man finds you alluring isn't always straightforward. However, experts say there are telltale signs that indicate when a man is captivated by a woman. Here are some of the top ways to know if a man is attracted to you:

He Makes Eye Contact

When a man is interested in a woman, he'll seek out eye contact and hold her gaze a beat longer than normal. Prolonged eye contact indicates attraction and connection. Of course, some shy men may glance away initially. But consistent, focused eye contact that lingers is a strong sign he's into you.

He Finds Excuses to Talk to You

A clear sign of attraction is when a guy goes out of his way to strike up conversations. He'll come up with reasons to chat you up, from commenting on the coffee you're drinking to asking an opinion on something. If he initiates conversation regularly, especially about deeper topics, it's a green light he wants to get to know you better.

He Points His Body Toward Yours

On a subconscious level, people point their shoulders and feet toward what interests them most in a room. If a man continually orients his body in your direction, this instinctual move says you have his interest and attention. Whether sitting side-by-side or standing across the room, note if his torso and feet angle toward you.

He Grooms Himself

When a man is trying to impress a woman, he'll unconsciously start grooming behaviors like smoothing his hair, straightening his shirt, or rubbing his chin. He wants to look his best around the woman he's seeking to attract. Subtle grooming gestures around you signal he's aiming to stand out.

He Gets Nervous

Men often get nervous around a woman they find captivating. Look for signs like fidgeting, stammering, sweating, blushing, or hands trembling. A few nerves indicate he feels pressure to wow you. It's a sweet sign you make him a tad flustered in an exciting way.

He Compliments You

Sincere compliments are a straightforward way men show interest. Telling a woman she looks nice or complimenting her personality reveals attraction. Listen for compliments on your appearance, talents, intelligence, or anything that impressed him. The more effusive the praise, the stronger his interest.

He Finds Excuses to Touch You

A man attracted to a woman will find harmless ways to initiate physical touch. These could be a hand on your shoulder, a pat on the back, “accidentally” brushing your knees, or hovering close. While inappropriate touching is off-putting, innocent contact reveals a longing to get closer. 

He Opens Up and Shows Vulnerability 

When a man is willing to let his guard down around you and reveal personal details, fears, dreams, or insecurities, it means he trusts you and wants emotional closeness. Don't take this vulnerability for granted, as it's a precious gift when a man feels safe enough to be transparent with you.


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What Is the Most Attractive Thing a Man Finds in a Woman?

When it comes to enticing men, one captivating yet uncommon trait rises above the rest: confidence. Not arrogance or presumption, but true self-assurance. Research shows men are intensely drawn to women who believe in their own worth and capabilities. 

Quiet confidence indicates resilience and inner strength – irresistible qualities to men seeking a partner who won’t crumble under pressure. While looks certainly attract initial interest, embracing your confident spirit sustains it.

What Little Thing Do Men Find Irresistible in a Woman? 

While some think men are drawn to flashy, bold behaviors, it’s often the small, feminine acts that truly captivate them. The simple act of smiling, for example. When a woman has a pleasant, kind, warm smile that she shares freely, it lights up a room and warms a man’s heart. 

Men are drawn to happy, positive women who smile with their eyes. This shows approachability, receptivity, and an optimistic spirit. Flashing a sincere, radiant smile indicates openness and self-assuredness. It’s an irresistible signal that a woman is confident, compassionate, and someone a man would love to get to know.

Final Thoughts

While mystery still surrounds much of attraction, one thing is clear: embracing your distinctive femininity is key. When you celebrate your womanhood in all its complexity – including its nurturing spirit, playfulness, wisdom, and grace – you become a magnetic force no man can resist.