Relationships are complicated, even when we work at them.
Unfortunately, sometimes partnerships take an unexpected turn, and we must let go of love.
Whether that love is profoundly romantic or feelings of solid friendship, it ends when it ends.
And then, we are faced with falling out of love, which is a challenge.
If you kept a journal during childhood, you probably shared some deep thoughts in its pages.
Journals for couples are intended to encourage two people to do the same thing.
The goal is to share intimate thoughts, hopes, fears, and memories, improving communication to help each partner learn more about the other.
These are ideal for couples who have been together for just a few months or partners who have been side-by-side for decades.
“Let it go!”
If anyone has ever spoken these words to you, you might’ve bristled at their implied assumption that you were just being stubborn and thick-headed.
But one of the most difficult challenges we encounter as humans is letting go.
Letting go of relationships, the past, our beliefs, the status quo, our fears, our hopes and dreams, our youth, and our sense of control.
Life is about change, and change is often scary and painful. We want to cling to what we have, even when we know what we have isn't what we really want or need.
Sometimes change is forced upon us, and we fight it tooth and nail until we've lost the battle.
Then we sit in bitterness and remorse, giving up the only real control we have in life — the ability to let go and begin anew.
What if we could simply accept that change is inevitable and that the only sane response to it is releasing our resistance to it?
I know it's not easy to simply let go, but once you do, you recognize how powerfully liberating it is.
You free yourself from pain, guilt, and regret, and you find a vast open space in which to move forward with your life.
Most of us enter a romantic relationship believing we've found a life partner to hold our hands through life's ups and downs and cherish us for the rest of our days.
In the honeymoon phase of your lives together, you are so close and connected that you can't imagine feeling any differently.
But fast forward a few years — after a few of those ups and downs, a couple of kids under your belt, and the inevitable waning of romance. Things aren't quite as blissful.
With time and normal life events, romantic relationships can fall into an autopilot routine.
Partners don't put in as much effort as they did when they first met to court one other or be attentive and present with their loved one.
Can you think of the last time you initiated conversation at a party or asked an acquaintance to go out for coffee?
If you can't, it might be time to put more effort into being outgoing.
A recent study found that being outgoing in your youth can lead to a greater sense of happiness as you age.
The results of the study showed that people who were friendly and sociable in their twenties ended up being happier with their lives over the following 40 or 50 years.
But how can you just change from being a reserved person to being more gregarious and socially skilled?
There are a few steps you can take to get started, which is the hardest part.
If you're wondering, “How do I stop being quiet” when everyone around you is engaged in lively conversation, help is on the way.
Being outgoing doesn’t come naturally to everyone, but putting yourself out there doesn’t have to be so scary.