You really like this girl.
And you don’t want to blow it.
You’ve texted a few times, but you want to be sure you say the right things to make her like you as much as you like her.
Texting has become our go-to method of communication, so it makes sense that you know the dos and don’ts of crafting texts that will pique her interest in you.
What is the best way to flirt with a girl over text and win her over?
Some people find it easier than talking in person, while others are overwhelmed by being unable to gauge physical reactions.
If you’re wondering what to text a girl, you’ll be glad you found the information we share here.
Is Texting a Girl a Good Way to Flirt?
Whatever your grandmother might say, texting is not lazy — it’s just modern letter-writing. So, in short, yes, it is an excellent way to flirt if you’re confident in how to do it.
Most people check a smartphone regularly, so texting keeps you in frequent communication.
Of course, that doesn’t mean that texting is the only way you should talk to the girl who interests you.
Ideally, important conversations should happen in person or over the phone. But younger folks prefer texting for most daily communication.
Some other benefits include the following:
- Convenience
- Communication without intrusion
- Availability throughout the day
- People can respond on their own time
Another benefit of texting is that it gives you space to consider your words. You might be surprised to find yourself smoother over text than in person!
How to Get A Girl to Like You Over Text: 7 Essential Rules
If you’re wondering how to keep a girl interested over text, remember a few rules.
These will help you establish your relationship while learning more about each other — and keep you from making embarrassing mistakes.
1. Include Details From Past Conversations
Did you have a great conversation the night before, and now you’re unsure how to start things again?
If you’re pondering what to send in your first text of the morning, reference a detail from a past conversation — especially if it was one where the two of you really connected.
Maybe you got excited over your shared love of Lord of The Rings or got into trouble with some super-spicy hot wings.
It doesn’t have to be something big. It shows that you’re paying attention and reminds her of that special connection.
2. Share Interesting Content
The internet has endless content to explore, and it’s a great way to start a conversation. If you’re looking for text messages to get her attention, consider sending her a link to something she might be interested in.
It could be a video or article on a topic you know she’s passionate about or something otherwise relevant to her life.
Maybe you saw an article about her hometown or a video about a hobby she pursues. It can be anything — the point is that something personal can spark a conversation. It always shows you’re paying attention.
3. Pay a Compliment
Want to make her feel warm and fuzzy? Bring up the things that you admire about her.
Let’s say she’s complaining about her boss treating her unfairly. You could say something like, “I’m sorry it was a rough day.
Don’t let it get you down. You deserve to be recognized for your hard work and talent!”
You could also pay a compliment at random by saying something like, “Can’t stop thinking about your adorable laugh when I spilled that soda on myself.” Don’t go overboard, though, and keep it sincere.
4. Pay Attention to Timing
Keep tabs on the timing of the day and text her during key moments.
That could be something like a sweet good morning text or a quick message before a big work meeting (“I know you have your evaluation at 3 p.m. You’re going to knock it out of the park!”).
Other examples include mealtimes, coming home for the day, and going to bed. Checking in at these moments makes you a part of her daily routine and shows that you’re thinking about her throughout your time apart.
5. Use Proper Grammar
Younger people are used to internet slang and texting shortcuts. There’s nothing wrong with using those occasionally, but generally, use proper grammar.
You come across as more intelligent, showing that you are invested in the conversation and can make a good impression.
The alternative can come across as lazy and juvenile, quickly making a conversation fizzle out. After all, is it that much harder to write “I don’t know” instead of “IDK”?
6. Stay Appropriate
Complimenting her appearance is always nice, but don’t do it too much, go on and on, or be overly fixated on her body. An appropriate compliment is, “You looked so pretty in your blue dress tonight.”
An inappropriate one would be describing parts of her body in detail, becoming overly sexual without invitation, or pressuring her to send pictures or give sexual favors before she is ready.
It might seem unnecessarily prudish to you, but consent is critical — and women are all too used to fending off overly forward partners.
7. Be Patient
There are natural lulls in conversations, and that’s OK. Don’t try to force the issue when this happens, and don’t try to overcompensate by texting her over and over again.
Be patient and recognize that sometimes, waiting is a part of the process.
Texting too much will make you look desperate, or even a bit creepy, so bide your time and know that good things come to those who wait.
What Not to Do When You Text a Girl You Like
So with all these things you should do, what are some things that aren’t a great idea? Remember that texting is a conversation. Both people are responsible for keeping the flow going.
That means avoiding short, one-word answers that put a burden on the other person.
That means you should avoid short, one-word answers that put the burden on the other person.
Other things you shouldn’t do include:
- Being too forward (including sending dirty pictures or prying into topics she’s trying to shut down)
- Sharing images or links without context
- Being overly complimentary of her body
- Texting too often or long blocks of text
- Giving short answers that shut the conversation down
- Veering off into strong personal opinions (rants rather than conversations)
- Being insulting about causes, hobbies, or passions she’s interested in
- Monologuing about yourself or your own interests without letting her share
How to Keep a Conversation Going with a Girl over Text
So what is the best way to keep a conversation going? Here are a few ways to keep a great conversation going without a huge effort.
Leave Her Wanting More
We’ve all had experiences of oversharing on a date. While you shouldn’t give one-word answers, don’t overwhelm her with long blocks of text, either.
Just because you have the buffer of a phone between you doesn’t mean you should share every detail of your life.
This also applies to starting a new text conversation. Start out with a sweet or friendly line, but don’t wax on and on, which can be unnerving.
If She Asks You about Yourself, Be Vulnerable and Share
Sharing and vulnerability are both vital parts of a budding relationship. If she asks you questions, be open and share.
Of course, you don’t need to answer things you don’t feel comfortable with — but regular getting-to-know-you questions are expected.
Don’t shut her down, which feels hostile. Instead, let her get to know you. After all, that’s the whole point of the process.
When You Learn Something About Her, Ask More Questions About It
Was she a state winner in a high school German dance competition, or does she collect thrift store frog art? When she shares a detail about her life, ask her follow-up questions.
Even if it doesn’t necessarily align with your personal interests, she shared it, which means it’s important to her.
And while you might not be interested in thrift store frogs, you are interested in her and her passions.
Ask Her Interesting Questions
If you’ve had many relationships that started over text or if you’ve dated online before, it can feel exhausting thinking of new questions to ask.
The good news about talking to someone over text is that you can plan out what you will say and build off of that. Don’t feel like you have to make a list and stick to it — follow the conversation naturally as it goes, too.
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These examples will help you get started — whether you’re texting for the first time, wishing her a good morning, or reaching out again after a date.
Timed Texts
1. The Good Morning Text
There’s nothing like showing her that she’s the first thing on your mind when you wake up. Keep it simple but personal.
Try this:
You: Hey, I know you have that big presentation today. I just want to wish you good luck, and you’re going to do great!
Her: Thank you so much! That means a lot!
You: Of course, I want to hear all about it when it’s over.
Much better than:
You: You busy today? Want to hang out?
Her: I can’t. I have a presentation for my job today. It’s a pretty big deal.
You: Okay, what about after?
2. The Good Night Text
It’s the bookend of the good morning text and the way to show that she’s the last thing on your mind as you fall asleep.
Do this:
You: I’m drifting off, but I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.
Her: Me too! Goodnight!
You: Sleep well!
Not this:
You: I have to work in the morning. Night
Her: Oh…ok. Night
3. The Train of Thought Text
When you’re crushing on someone, everything makes you think of them. Take advantage of that — she’ll think it’s cute.
For example:
You: I just started my lunch, and it made me think of our fantastic dinner on Saturday. This PB&J isn’t as fun as barbecue with you!
Her: Let’s do it again soon!
A bad example:
You: [picture of your lunch]
Her: Looks good!
After a Date
1. Bringing Up a Past Conversation
We mentioned that bringing up details from a past conversation is a great way to get communication going again. There’s never a better time to do this than after a date.
For example:
You: Hey, what are you up to? I’m about to watch that movie you recommended.
Her: Nice! I hope you like it. I’m just about to walk my dog.
You: I’m excited to watch it. I didn’t know you had a dog! What’s the breed?
A bad example:
You: Hey.
Her: Oh hey, what are you up to?
You: Nothing.
2. Sending a Link to Something She Likes
This is another way to pick up on a past conversation. Let’s imagine she was talking about a favorite band during your previous date.
Take a look at how this opens the door for another conversation.
Do this:
You: [Link to Band Tour Dates] Hey, I noticed your favorite band is coming to town. Want to get tickets?
Her: OMG YES! That would be awesome! Come over, and we can pick our section together.
You: lol, cool. I’ll be over in about an hour.
Not this:
You: [Link to a funny video]
Her: ?
You: Oh, I thought you would find this funny.
3. Talking About The Date
It’s always nice to mention that you enjoyed spending time with her. That being said, there’s a right and a wrong way to do it.
Do this:
You: You looked amazing in your yellow dress today.
Her: Wow, thank you, I noticed your hair cut too. It looked good. 😉
You: Lol, I wanted to look nice for you.
Not this:
You: You were so hot last night. You should wear that lipstick more often.
Her: Um, yeah, I don’t know.
You: Every guy had their eye on you at the bar.
4. Putting it All Out There
There’s nothing wrong with taking the old-fashioned approach: letting her know you had a great time and you want to see her again.
Try this:
You: I had the best time with you last night. You looked beautiful. I could have listened to you talk for hours.
Her: I had a lot of fun too. Are you free to get a coffee sometime soon?
You: I would love that.
Not this:
You: Wanna hang out again?
Her: Um, maybe.
You: I kind of need to know so I can make plans.
Starting a New Conversation
1. Asking an Interesting Question
Doing “conversation icebreakers” might feel cheesy, but it’s not silly if it works. This also shows that you actually want to have a conversation with her — no matter what it’s about.
Here’s an example:
You: Hey, random question.
Her: lol, okay?
You: What’s one thing you’ve done that you wish you could do again?
This works so much better than:
You: Guess what?
Her: What?
You: I’m bored.
2. Being Spontaneous
You don’t have to have a “reason” for texting her — in fact, just initiating a conversation shows that you’re interested in talking to her.
It will make her feel special knowing that you enjoy interacting with her and she is often on your mind.
Try this:
You: [Image of Flower] Isn’t this your favorite flower?
Her: Yes! I love chrysanthemums.
You: I’m going to pick a few for you.
Instead of this:
You: [Image of random dog]
Her: Is that your dog?
You: No. I just thought it was cute.
3. Telling a Joke
Girls love partners who can be playful and silly. Try opening with a joke, but make sure it is tasteful and not at anyone’s expense.
Here’s a good example:
You: So I’ve been reading a lot lately. Right now, I’m reading a book on antigravity.
Her: Wow, sounds educational.
You: Yeah…I really can’t put it down.
Her: OMG! LOL!
And here’s a bad one:
You: Have you heard the joke about the fat chick?
Her: I’d rather not.
You: Why?
4. Letting Her Know She’s on Your Mind
It’s always good to let her know you’re thinking of her. That said, it’s easy to overdo it.
Try this:
You: You were everywhere yesterday.
Her: lol, what does that mean?
You: Okay, so I was walking to work and noticed a car was playing your favorite song. I started singing it to myself, and then I saw someone walking their beagle. It looked just like YOUR dog, I swear.
And then, I noticed a flower bed of chrysanthemums in a shop window, your favorite flower. It was crazy, but it made me think of you all day.
Not this:
You: Yesterday was crazy.
Her: What happened?
You: Well…
You: I was walking through the park.
You: And I realized this girl was walking her beagle.
You: The beagle looked exactly like your dog Sparky.
You: So I asked the owner what the dog’s name was.
You: You’re never going to believe this.
You: Its name was SPARKY!!!
You: Can you believe it???
Getting Back to Her
1. When You’ve Been Waiting
Life is busy, and there are times when people fall off the map. But you should be gracious about it when it happens.
Here’s a good example:
Her: I’m sorry for not getting back sooner. Ugh, it’s been a busy couple of days.
*One Hour Later*
You: That’s okay. I understand how busy you can get. Don’t worry about it.
*One Minute Later*
Her: Thanks for understanding. Anyway, YES! I would love to see you tomorrow.
*One Minute Later*
You: Great! I’ll make reservations and get back to you soon!
And a bad one:
You: You haven’t responded in a while ☹
*One Hour Later*
Her: Sorry, I’ve been busy.
*One Minute Later*
You: I was just hoping we could hang out.
*One Hour Later*
Her: I’d like to, but I don’t know when I’m free.
*One Minute Later*
You: Can you make time?
2. When She’s Flirting More Obviously
When girls start to drop hints, there are still rules for how to respond — and for recognizing what is and isn’t an invitation.
For example:
Her: My friend is throwing a pool party. I can’t decide between my red or blue bikini.
You: My favorite color is blue, but I’m sure you’ll look lovely in both!
Her: I’ll go with the blue. 😊
Don’t do this:
Her: I’m just about to head in the shower. I’ll call you in a bit.
You: How about some pics of you in the shower? 😉
Her: That’s not funny.
3. When She’s Talking About Her Day
We all want someone to respond to us with attention, whether we’re sharing good or bad news. Pay attention to what she says.
For example:
Her: Ugh, I had the worst day at work. My boss made me feel like an idiot.
You: That sucks. Don’t let him get to you. You’re one of the hardest workers I know.
Her: That means a lot, thank you. 😊
You: Of course!
Don’t do this:
Her: My sister and I got into a fight. She said I’m a selfish person.
You: Just ignore her.
Her: I mean, I try, but it still hurts.
You: It will pass.
Other Situations
1. When You’ve Made a Typo
One of the challenges of texting is that typos can and do happen. But you can recover from them, especially if you rely on proper grammar.
Here’s a good example:
You: I don’t want to see you later. My sister is in town, so I want to spend time with her.
Her: Oh…okay.
You: I’m so sorry. That was an auto-correct. I meant to say: I DO WANT TO SEE YOU! But my sister is in town, and I need to spend time with her – want to hang out tomorrow?
And a bad one:
You: I dnt want two go there.
Her: Oh, were you thinking of another place?
You: Srry, I mean I wnt to go but cant.
Final Thoughts
Texting is a part of modern dating, but it doesn’t have to be intimidating. These simple rules will help you hit it off with the girl of your dreams.
Be thoughtful, be courteous, and be yourself. Everything else should fall into place.
