There was a time in my life when I didn't believe in myself. Having grown up in your average dysfunctional family, I found myself in the role of peacekeeper and people pleaser from a young age.
I believed if I was compliant and accommodating, I could keep everyone happy and prevent the wackadoodle behavior going on around me.
On a deeper level, I was afraid of being emotionally abandoned. When my efforts didn't work, I tried harder.
Needless to say, over time I trained myself to stuff down my own feelings for fear I'd rock the boat further.
In certain areas of my life, this pattern continued into young adulthood. During confrontational situations, I either backed down quickly or avoided engaging altogether.
Although I was “rewarded” for being a pleaser, eventually my self-esteem began to waiver.
I had false beliefs that I wasn't good enough if I didn't comply to the wants and needs of others.
This mindset was unsustainable and soul crushing.