6 Ways To Deal With The Silent Treatment In A Relationship

Silent Treatment

I once knew a man who seemed to be everything I wanted.

He was good-looking, well-mannered, and articulate.

He had an opinion on every topic under the sun and wasn’t afraid to speak his mind. As someone who valued intellect and honesty in a partner, I couldn’t help but be captivated by him.

So when he gave me the silent treatment for the first time, I chose to ignore it.

It was the first anniversary of our relationship, and I wanted to go someplace special. Since there was already a venue I had in mind, I decided to simply inform him of the particulars (date, time, meeting place) and take him there.

But when we arrived at the venue, I noticed he was tense. I thought he was just tired from our travels, so I told him to relax and enjoy.

The tension never melted away, though. He hardly spoke during the vacation, and even when we were ordering at a restaurant, he refused to say a single word. Instead, he’d either grunt or gesture using his hands.

Knowing him to be a talkative man, I knew something was wrong. I decided to save the questions until the end of our trip, since I didn’t want to add to the tension. It was only when we left for home did he say, “I didn’t want to come here, you know.”

Naturally, I was surprised. "So why didn’t you tell me?" That was what I wanted to say, but instead I replied, “I see. I’m sorry I didn’t ask you for your opinion before the trip.”

Ever since, he would use the silent treatment more and more. He’d keep his lips sealed and refuse to talk whenever I did something he didn’t like, or if I refused to do something he wanted.

Sometimes he even gave me the cold shoulder for no apparent reason. He would just stonewall me when I would ask him what was wrong.

Finally, I had enough. When he came to visit me one day, I chose that moment to meet him at the door and tell him it was over between us. I was glad to be free of him at last.

From that relationship, I learned that silent treatment isn’t something I — or anyone else — should ever have to put up with.

Why do people use the silent treatment?

(more…)

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