I was talking with a friend this week who was telling me about some encounters with a relative.
My friend is one of the kindest, most loving, self-aware people on the planet. But the member of her family treats her atrociously.
Of course, it is extremely painful for my friend.
She has spent a lifetime trying to win her mother's love and approval, but her efforts are consistently met with coldness and disapproval.
I have another friend whose father had a borderline mental illness. He was sane enough that he appeared “normal” — but he really had the emotional maturity of a teenager.
He was manipulative, self-absorbed, and often inappropriate. My friend could barely stand to be in his presence.
My own father (now deceased) could be a very difficult person. He had very poor relational skills, resorted to passive-aggressive behaviors, and couldn't communicate his feelings well.
Sometimes he resorted to anger and stomping around the house in a grown-up version of a toddler tantrum.