Ask yourself this: why did you get involved in your love relationship in the first place?
Were you looking for someone you could have a good fight with when you felt like it?
Were you hoping to have someone handy who would meet all of your needs?
Were you looking for someone to have around the house to observe you pouting or withdrawing?
I know these are silly (but telling) questions. Of course we get involved in our love relationship because, well, we fall in love. And attached to those powerful, chemically-driven feelings are the more practical desires for companionship, emotional intimacy, and a sense of belonging and security.
Being in a relationship is a good thing. People who are in a committed relationship live longer, are happier in general, and tend to accumulate more wealth. But if that's the case, why are relationships so difficult? Why do we argue, belittle, and disengage from the one person we're supposed to love most? (more…)