I remember him, that little boy with curly hair. He’d sit quietly in class, fiddling with his fingers all the time.
One day, it happened. It started as a small argument between him and the girl sitting next to him over an eraser, and before we knew it, it escalated quickly. The boy punched the girl repeatedly until her nose started bleeding. He said, “Boys can hit girls.” After that day, I never saw him again.
Back home, I could hear our moms talking about how the poor kid was from a broken family, and how he had probably picked that notion from his father who would beat up his mother regularly. I didn’t understand what that meant then, but now I do.
Being in an abusive relationship is scary.
The person who is supposed to love you the most, protect you from the world, and shower you with attention and kindness is the person who is now hurting you physically and emotionally.
It’s frightening, hurtful and confusing all at the same time. But then, you put up with it because you keep hoping it will change.
But the dynamics change when there are children in the picture.
For someone in an abusive relationship, calling it quits and parting ways becomes a different ball game because of fear about the impact it would have on their children.
It’s true that kids from broken families suffer some pain and difficulty dealing with the end of their parents relationship. This is especially true if the divorce or break-up is acrimonious.
However, growing up with parents who have an abusive relationship isn’t going to do them a world of good either. In fact, it does much worse.
So, here’s the thing. Children are better off with separated parents than being raised in an abusive environment. The impact this kind of an atmosphere has on the minds of children is extreme.
So, if you have children, and you live in an abusive relationship, for heaven’s sake, do yourself and your children a favor. Get out of it!
If you're staying with your partner for the sake of your children, you need to be aware of how it's impacting them.