It's like the air has been punched out of you.
Even if you saw it coming.
Even if you initiated it.
Breaking up with your romantic partner is one of the most painful life experiences you'll ever have.
The longer the relationship and the more intertwined your lives have become, the more agonizing the pain.
You loved this person. You had hopes and dreams about your future together. He or she was your companion, confidante, and lover.
There is a chemical bond that occurs between two people who are romantically connected, and it's hard to dissolve that -- even if it's the best thing for both of you.
If you initiated the breakup, you might feel guilt, confusion, sadness, anger, regret, and loneliness. You might also feel a huge sense of relief if the relationship was going south, but even the relief is tinged with grief.
Most healthy-minded, compassionate people don't enjoy causing pain to someone they care about.
If you were the one broken up with, well, you may just want to go crawl in a hole and die. It feels like an assault to your very being.
You might wonder, "Am I not lovable? Am I not desirable? What's wrong with me that he/she doesn't want to be with me anymore?"
You will likely go through the typical five stages of grief and loss:
- Denial and isolation
Loss is a natural part of life, and even thought it is incredibly painful, it can teach us many lessons if we choose to accept them.
It's hard to see those lessons during the initial tsunami of emotions that come with splitting up. But once the emotional chaos calms a little, you'll do yourself a favor by approaching this painful life passage with mindfulness.