Today is the Thursday before Mother’s Day, and if your mom is still around you probably have a note on your calendar or a mental note to send her a card, call her, buy a gift or take her out to lunch.
Even though you have three whole days before you officially need to acknowledge your mother, take a moment right now and think about her. Pull her off your calendar page and see the unique person who happens to be your mother.
“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” ~Elizabeth Stone
My mom is deceased, but I still think about her a lot, especially as I’m parenting my own children. Hopefully your mom is still around and you enjoy a good relationship with her. But even if she’s gone and/or you have mixed reviews about your relationship, your mom has offered you some pretty profound life lessons.
As Mother’s Day approaches, maybe it would be a very good thing to step back from the Hallmark, obligatory holiday hoopla and reflect on the lessons and gifts you’ve received from the woman who brought you into the world and raised you. Some of these lessons were uplifting and inspiring and some were hard and disappointing, but there’s no doubt that they all contributed to your growth as a person.
“The child in the decisive first years of his life, has the experience of his mother, as an all-enveloping, protective, nourishing power. Mother is food; she is love; she is warmth; she is earth. To be loved by her means to be alive, to be rooted, to be at home.” – Erich Fromm
Here are 25 Important Things to Know About Mom:
1. Childbirth is scary and painful, but the joy that you brought your mom when you came into the world makes the pain a vague memory.
2. Someone can still love you unconditionally even when they have to take care of all of your needs and sacrifice sleep and sanity to do so.
3. When you are sick, she is really the only one who makes it better.
4. Mom is the one person in the world who will be completely honest with you about your appearance, your behavior, your choices and your hygiene — whether you want to hear it or not.
5. Nobody cooks better than mom, even if she’s a lousy cook.
6. Up until age 11, your mom knows everything. After that she’s a complete idiot, until you have your own children. Then she’s pretty handy.
7. No one has the power to embarrass or humiliate you more than mom, especially when she tries to behave like anything other than a basic mom.
8. Your mother is many things including a basic mom. That’s a hard lesson. She is a human who was or is someone else’s child, just like you.
9. Your mom can screw up and still be a good mother.
10. Every mother wants their child to be better than they were, to make up for their own deficiencies. That’s not always healthy but it’s true.
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” ~ Phyllis Diller
11. Your mother wants nothing more than to feel she has done a good job as a parent. Everything else pales in comparison.
12. If you are a man, you probably see reflections of your mom in your spouse or partner. These can be good or bad qualities, but your mom profoundly impacts your choice in a romantic partner.
13. If you are a woman, your husband or partner sees qualities of his mom in you. Hmmm.
14. It doesn’t matter how old you are or whether you and your mom get along — you will always want her approval.
15. Ain’t nobody gonna be happy if momma ain’t happy.
16. Your mom is the keeper of traditions. Many of your own traditions are learned from her.
17. Your mother will forgive you and still love you no matter what.
“The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.” ~Honore’ de Balzac
18. Some mothers don’t forgive and that teaches you the value of forgiveness.
19. Your mother offers you the gift of interests and inspiration. It can be around books, cooking, art, teaching or anything that she loved and modeled for you.
20. You can be mediocre or very bad at trombone, ballet class, baseball, or singing, but your mom will cheer the loudest, clap the hardest and pronounce that you were the best.
21. The hardest thing your mom has done is to allow you to fail. The best thing your mom has done is to allow you to fail.
22. When you left home, your mom had a hole in her heart and her life. It has probably healed, but she still needs to feel needed by you on occasion.
23. If you were wounded by your mom as a child, forgive her. She was doing the best she knew how. You are an adult now.
24. As a daughter, you may not want to become like your mother. Oddly, that happens in spite of yourself.
25. The best gift you can give your mother is to let her know she did a good job.
So this Mother’s Day, why don’t you do that?