10 Reasons Why You Need to Buck the Status Quo

iStock_000016738475Small

All of my life, I’ve been a good doobie.

I was a rule follower.

I was the compliant child.

The pleaser.

I grew up in a household with more than its fair share of turmoil. Everyone around me was breaking the rules and creating havoc. So it became my job to keep the peace. That was my role, reinforced by the comments and expectations of those around me, and I played it well.

As I became an adult, that role clung to me like a bad rash. Stepping out of line or doing anything controversial made me highly uncomfortable or downright anxious. When faced with a decision or choice, I generally picked the safest and most conventional route (with the notable exception of moving to New York in my 20’s).

This learned behavior, reinforced by bad feelings and bad reactions from others any time I tried to step out of it, did exactly what it was supposed to do.

It kept me safe and secure.

It kept people happy with me.

It provided a sense of normalcy that I didn’t have growing up.

But it also did something else. It kept me confined. It limited my potential and tethered me to a world that was perfectly fine, but not all it could be. Not all I wanted it to be.

What unlocked the cage for me was reaching midlife. I began to have regrets about opportunities missed and fears about what the future held for me. I counted the number of days I likely have left and realized that it’s now or never. I started, in small ways, to buck the status quo. That gave me the courage to buck it in some bigger ways.

For so long, I had let fear set the limits on my life. Now I am actively creating my life and doing things in spite of fear. Once I do them a few times, I no longer have fear around them. I realize how big the fear had become and how simple the reality really is. It’s almost laughable. Even the most painfully scary things are survivable, especially if there’s a reward at the end.

Right now I’m reading the book by Chris Guillebeau called The Art of Non-Conformity: Set Your Own Rules, Live the Life You Want, and Change the World. (Don’t you love the title?) If you haven’t read this book, you must, must, must read it. Chris has done incredibly adventurous things with his life, and in the book he shares his insights and practical strategies for bold and fearless living.

One of the amazing things he wrote that jumped off the page for me was the inspiration for this post:

“When faced with uncertainty about taking a leap of faith, take the leap. You’ll regret the things you didn’t do much more than anything you did, so you might as well try new things.”

His words made me cringe, because for too many years, I didn’t take that leap of faith. I didn’t have faith that I’d be “safe” — in fact, I didn’t know that leaping was even legal!

Now I want to shout from the rooftop to anyone who will listen:

Leap! Leap! Leap!

  • If you want to reach your fullest potential, leap!
  • If you want to feel really alive, leap!
  • If you want to conquer fear, leap!

What does leaping mean?

It manifests in different ways for different people, but in general, it means bucking the status quo. Challenging old ideas and authority. Defining life on your terms rather than another persons. Doing something out of the ordinary. Trying something new. Taking a risk.

So why would you want to buck the status quo?

If you stop and think for a minute, you can likely come up with a list of a dozen things you wish you had done or could do.

Here’s why you should try them:

1. Personal empowerment. When you take matters into your own hands and decide to do the thing you’ve been wavering about, you feel powerful and in control of your own destiny. Win or lose, succeed or fail, YOU are making the decisions here. And that’s empowering.

2. Vanquishing fear. Hand-in-hand with personal empowerment comes the grace of vanquishing fear. I say grace because it is almost a religious experience when you can overcome fear to do the thing that frightens you. The realization that you can do it in spite of fear is amazing. And the icing on the cake is that fear generally dissipates once you face it.

3. Wild enthusiasm. When you start living life on your terms, you will be filled with an enthusiasm and excitement that you may never have felt. Suddenly the world is your oyster. You are making choices from a pupu platter of all of your favorite things instead of waiting for someone to serve you scraps.

4. Focus and clarity. When you make the decision to buck the status quo, so many choices open up to you. This forces you to prioritize and focus on what is most important at any given time. You can do anything you want, but you can’t do them all at the same time.

5. Relationship refinement. Bucking the status quo may mean upsetting the apple cart with people in your life. They will either adapt and stick with you or move in a different direction. This narrows your field of relationships to those who love, support, and respect you for who you are and what you choose for your own life. I’d rather have a small group of amazing relationships than a large group of naysayers, gatekeepers, and control freaks.

6. Adventure. Part of bucking the status quo should include some wild adventures. Allow your new freedom to touch all areas of your life. Travel to unexpected places. Reach out to different types of people. Learn something totally out of character. It will make you more interesting to yourself and others.

7. Self-respect. When you start living life on your own terms rather than adhering to the status quo, you begin to view yourself in a different light. This is part of the empowerment mentioned above. You stand up straighter. You speak out more often. You like who you are.

8. Opportunity. As you become more confident and enthusiastic about life, more and more opportunities will come your way. You will be more attractive to others, your enthusiasm and positive attitude will foster creativity, you will notice things around you that you once ignored.

9. Meaning and fulfillment. As you open yourself to the world, you will discover that a good chunk of enjoying this new life comes from serving others rather than just doing things for yourself. You will find meaningful ways to spend your time in service beyond being neighborly or serving in the soup kitchen.

10. Passion. When you give yourself room and freedom to explore all that life has to offer, you may just bump into something you feel really passionate about. You may discover a career, business, or hobby that feels like fun. Your passion for it will give you energy and creativity you didn’t know you possessed.

Where in your life could you buck the status quo?

How are you allowing other people to set the rules for you?

What assumptions are you making that you could challenge?

What material things are you clinging to that aren’t serving you?

Where is fear holding you back?

Where are you faced with uncertainty about taking a leap?

If you have done your due diligence, why don’t you close your eyes and take the leap. An amazing life is waiting for you at the bottom!

You might be interested in more of Chris Guillebeau’s amazing resources for bucking the status quo and creating life on your own terms.

Comments

  1. What a FANATASTIC post!
    Thank you for sharing and encouraging all of us to take the LEAP!
    Have a MORSELICIOUS day!

  2. Doctor Cris says:

    I believe the place to look first is my routines. Sometimes, out of the blue, a new and improved way to doing something I have been doing for years, hits me—and I think, why hasn’t this occurred to me before? Sometimes, I find myself in automatic, instead of being in the present moment and enjoying life.

    • Barrie Davenport says:

      You and me both Cris! It is easy to fail into automatic. We don’t notice until we start to pass out from boredom. That’s the perfect time to leap. :)

  3. Hey Barrie,

    Terrific post! Love the enthusiasm and encouragement to leap, dammit, leap!

    I don’t know about you, but I love this new perspective that middle-age brings. It’s a combination of the reality of time passing and the experience of having fallen flat on my face in the past and knowing I get up each time a bit wiser for the wear. So, when I ask myself, “What’s the worst thing that can happen if I leap?” the answer is usually, “I might fall, but I’ve done THAT before and survived.”

    Here’s to a passionate, courageous life of leaping!

    • Barrie Davenport says:

      Amen to that Bobbi! Midlife brings about a certain level of fearlessness because we’ve had enough bad things happen to know they won’t kill you.

  4. Excellent, excellent post, Barrie! Very timely for me as well. Thank you for sharing information about Chris’ book. I’ll definitely check it out.

    • Barrie Davenport says:

      Hi Marianne,
      I’m so glad it came to you just at the right time. You will love Chris’s book. It is eye-opening. I wish I’d had his fearlessness at the same age.

  5. This is more like it Barrie,
    I don’t like the ‘old rules’…I do like to create my own…your post here is right up my alley, thankyou.
    be good to yourself
    David

  6. Gorgeous, gorgeous work. THANK YOU for this. I know it, but I need to read it every day to remember. Things are getting REALLY real these days, and the thrill of that makes me want to hide in the closet — at first. And THEN I remember, breathe, pray, and LEAP!!!!!! Go, beautiful YOU!!!!

  7. A rule follower that’s me. Somehow I still manage to pursue my own goals even if people don’t think it’s a good idea.

    For me, it goes deeper – knowing that I can be different and still have contact with those important to me (even when we disagree/see life different). To define ourselves even in the face of our own fear is one hurdle, but define ourselves in the face of others fear is the real hurdle (but so worth it)!

    • Barrie Davenport says:

      So well-stated Marci. It comes down to the fear of being unloved. But what good is love from others if you can’t be yourself, right? Thank you for your insightful comments.

  8. I have always been considering the “black sheep” of the family. No one could understand why I questioned life so much, but I was just not willing to believe life should be so boring!

    Great great reasons to step up and live your life passionately!

    My fav is Adventure! A lot of fun can be had, by starting off on a new adventure.

    • Barrie Davenport says:

      Hi Lori Lynn,
      Good for you for going for it in spite of other people questioning you. Yes, we must step up. No one is going to push us!

  9. I *love* this post Barrie…if I haven’t said that already! I’m reminded so much of this:
    “Come to the edge, he said, we’re afraid. Come to the edge, we’ll fall. Come to the edge. So they came and he pushed and they flew.”

    Encourage one another.
    Elle.

  10. appanraj says:

    This is a very nice letter.It gives me new strength to cross the barriers of ascent.But at the same time the very old fear emerging to stop me going further.Please help me Barrie ! thank you!

  11. Hi Barrie,
    Thanks for a great blog post. It speaks volumes to me.

    I’m currently working through your Discover your Passion course and from what I’ve done so far the disconnect between where I am and where I might like to be is massive. I’m committed to making changes but am still working through which direction to go in.

    My heart is saying “quit your job and let the Universe offer you opportunities” but my head is still on the board saying “don’t be silly, you have children and responsibilities and haven’t worked out a direction”. It’s an internal battle!

    I am on the edge of the cliff plucking up courage to leap. Wish me luck!

    Kindest regards,
    Matt

    • Barrie Davenport says:

      Hi Matt,
      I think listening to your heart and your head is a good way to go. Your heart will guide you to what you love, and your head will help you get there in a way that doesn’t jeopardize family and responsibilities. A little creative thinking helps too. Have you read the 4-Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss? This is a great book to help find the balance between head and heart when seeking your passion.

Trackbacks

  1. […] down everything on paper, making two columns with the pros and cons of your present status quo and your future life if you take […]

Speak Your Mind

*

Create Habits For Life. Sticky Habits Course Registration Is Open. Learn More