100 Ways To Show Your Love To Her


“Compliment what she does. Send her roses just because. If it’s violins she loves, let them play. Dedicate her favorite song, and hold her closer all night long. Love her today. Find one hundred ways.” ~from the song “One Hundred Ways” by Quincy Jones

Gentlemen, if you have a love in your life, I have something for you here that you might want to print out, fold up, and store in your wallet. (You might wait until the readers here add their comments and other ideas.) And lest you feel slighted, I have a list of way for women to show him love in my next post, so please come back and add your thoughts.

The way I see it, a good and loving relationship is like a prized garden. If you want the flowers to grow and bloom, you must carefully tend to the garden every day. You must place it in a sunny spot, water it daily, keep away predators, and pull the weeds. Even plants thrive with loving words and appreciation. Your relationship needs and deserves your attention every single day.

If you are a man over the age of 25, you’ve probably learned that women want expressions of your love beyond just saying those three magic words. As Quincy Jones writes in his beautiful love song, “Love her today, Find one hundred ways.”

If you need some inspiration or ideas for showing your beloved how much you care, here are 100 ways to express your love to her.

1. Ask her directly what makes her happy. Listen, remember those things, and give them to her regularly without being asked.

2. Tell her she is beautiful and always will be in your eyes. Do this often.

3. Write a love note and leave it on her pillow.

4. If she’s a mother, remind her what a wonderful parent she is and how much you appreciate that.

5. Sit next to her when you are watching TV. Put your arm around her or hold her hand. Let her hold the remote.

6. Buy her some sexy lingerie, a bottle of champagne, and hire a babysitter to take the kids out for the evening if necessary.

7. Read out loud to her at night in bed from a book you both enjoy.

8. Handle one of her daily chores for her without being asked.

9. Listen when she needs to talk — without offering solutions.

10. Plan a weekend getaway to a romantic destination and handle all of the details including childcare.

11. Learn and apply healthy and mature relationship behaviors, especially when the going gets rough.

12. Bring her coffee or tea in bed in the morning.

13. Contact one of her best friends from out-of-town and arrange to have her visit for a weekend as a surprise.

14. Clean the house before the best friend arrives.

15. Talk about how wonderful and beautiful she is in front of her and a group of other people. Always speak highly of her in front of others.

16. Brush her hair.

17. Get tickets for the two of you to go to a show she will love, even though it might not be your favorite.

18. Slow dance with her at home for no reason.

19. Stop what you are doing if she needs to speak with you and give her your attention — or ask her to wait until you can give her your full attention.

20. Eat breakfast with her.

21. Ask her about the details of her day, her work, even some of the boring minutia.

22. Show genuine pride in even the smallest accomplishments.

23. Be silly with her. Find ways to make her laugh with you.

24. Solicit her input and ideas, even in areas that aren’t her expertise. Include her in decisions.

25. Ask her what she likes in bed and give it to her.

26. Tell her what you like in bed and ask her for it.

27. Show real intimacy and connection in bed through loving words, tenderness, and touch.

28. Be respectful to her parents and kind to her siblings.

29. Give her a back rub or foot rub without being asked.

30. If you have children, be a kind, loving, and active father.

31. If you are going to be late, call.

32. Take a bath or shower with her.

33. If she is sad, scared or insecure, hold her and tell her it will be OK and that you have faith in her.

34. Be an old-fashioned gentleman. Hold the door. Help her with her coat. Offer your seat.

35. Stay in shape. Take care of yourself.

36. Find a balance with your work and home life. Don’t let work take precedence over your relationships.

37. Go parking.

38. Take her for a long walk and just talk.

39. Create a scrapbook of photos and memento’s of your favorite occasions with her.

40. Take her to a photo booth and make crazy faces for the camera.

41. Go to an amusement park and ride a roller coaster together.

42. Find a secluded place where you can go skinny dipping.

43. Don’t sit and watch sports all day every Saturday. Turn of the TV and go do something fun with her.

44. Suggest enrolling in a fun class together — ballroom dancing, pottery, golf or tennis lessons.

45. Be patient when you are teaching her something new that she doesn’t understand.

46. Baked some cookies and bring her one fresh from the over with a glass of milk.

47. Take the initiative to invite friends over for dinner, and help prepare it and clean up after it.

48. Go for a his and her massage.

49. Rent an erotic video and watch it with her.

50. Manage your own stress so that your worries don’t impact your relationship. Figure out how to do this before you get overwhelmed.

51. Get up early with the kids and let her sleep in.

52. Make up the bed a few times a week.

53. Develop good male friendships and encourage her to spend time with her friends.

54. Don’t stonewall. Speak honestly and reveal yourself to her.

55. Apologize when you should.

56. Exercise together.

57. Invite her to create mutual goals and a vision for your life together.

58. Have a passion. It makes you more attractive.

59. Don’t flirt with other women, especially in front of her.

60. Allow her to do it her way, even if you think your way is better.

61. Write her a song and sing it to her.

62. Buy her something she admired in a store and surprise her with it.

63. Wrap it.

64. If you need her to stop doing something or to do something differently, ask her kindly without put-downs.

65. Have a dream together — for a great vacation, a new home, whatever. Plan and work toward it together.

66. Don’t make big purchases without consulting her.

67. Bring her a single red rose.

68. Put together a CD of her favorite songs to listen to in the car.

69. Get her car washed for her.

70. Reminisce with her about wonderful events and occasions from your past.

71. Be willing to try new things that she suggests.

72. Suggest new things yourself.

73. Invite her to a baseball or football game with you.

74. Remember her birthday, your anniversary, and Mother’s Day and do something special for her, even if it’s small.

75. Write down 100 reasons you love her and send it through the mail.

76. Paint her toenails.

77. Surprise her with a real adventure — a hot air balloon ride, a white water rafting trip, a snorkeling trip.

78. Go to a museum or art gallery with her.

79. Be creative with your sex life. Try something new, in a new place, at a different time.

80. Buy her a pair of beautiful dressy shoes.

81. Take her to a champagne brunch.

82. Say yes when you’d rather say no.

83. Learn to manage your anger if you have a problem.

84. Be appropriately generous with your friends and family. Pick up lunch or dinner on occasion.

85. Dress nicely. Pay attention to your appearance and hygiene.

86. Light candles.

87. Be the first to make up.

88. Put the lid down.

89. Turn off the TV and play some great music instead.

90. Call her once or twice a day just to say you are thinking about her.

91. Show interest in her ideas and interests.

92. Let it go sometimes. It’s probably not worth fighting about.

93. Have a beautiful photo taken of the kids or the two of you and give it to her framed.

94. Buy her a book by an author she loves.

95. Hold her hand in the movies and when you walk to and from the car.

96. On road trips, stop the car as soon as possible if she needs to go.

97. Initiate real communication and sharing with her regularly.

98. Be willing to be vulnerable with her.

99. Smile at her when you see her, the way you did when you first met.

100. Show her you love her in some small way every single day.

Whether you are a man or a woman, if you have some ideas for ways men can show love to their beloved, please share them in the comments section.

Comments

  1. Great list Barrie. I’d like to think my wife is getting a lot of this already, but there’s always room for improvement, right?

    Consider this bookmarked.

    • Barrie Davenport says:

      Hi Joe,
      Glad you liked it Joe! Your wife is lucky. 🙂 Keep an eye out for the post I do for women. Maybe you have some thoughts to add.

  2. So should us women make sure our husbands/boyfriends see this post? As a very obvious hint? A great list of ideas! And for real, so many men don’t know what their lady likes. This is a good list to start with!
    Bernice

    • Barrie Davenport says:

      That probably wouldn’t be a bad idea Bernice. And I’m writing one for women too — so please come back and get your dose of medicine. 🙂

  3. Wow. Your list brought me to tears. I left my abusive husband more than 2 years ago and he didn’t do a single one of those things, ever. I have my eyes open for a different kind of man now!

    • Barrie Davenport says:

      Hi Julie,
      Sometimes when we discover what we’ve been missing, it can touch a really raw spot. I am so glad you found your way out of that relationship and on to something much better. Thank you for having the courage to share this.

  4. Hi Barrie,

    This is indeed a great article and something that we guys would do well to bear in mind if we really have that someone special. I doubt I have much to add to your pretty comprehensive list. But I do what to point out that a big part of showing our love involves knowing what our partners want and giving it to them. There is no point doing a large romantic gesture which falls flat because our partner does not like it. If we can remember to love that someone special the way they want to be loved, all will be well. The only way of knowing what they like is by asking and observing. Also, being her support and pillar of strength and comfort is also a great way to show love.

    Thank you for this fantastic list! 🙂

    Irving the Vizier

    • Barrie Davenport says:

      Hi Irving,
      You sound like you are a very loving partner to a very lucky girl! Listening, asking, and observing — those small efforts have such a huge pay off in a relationship. Thank you for your thoughtful comments. 🙂

  5. Moshe Sharon says:

    The word “Stress” actually relates to wear and tear as when the rubber meets the road on a tire or the brake pads pressing up against the rotor in the wheel. The term as it applies to living organisms was first introduced by Hans Seyle in the 1930’s who defined it as the consequence of the failure of an organism (human or animal) to respond appropriately to emotional or physical threats, whether actual or imagined. Thus stress symptoms are the manifestation of a chronic state of responses to stress triggers that are actually benign. Even a thought can set off the same response mechanism that would be in play while standing in front of a hungry lion. Hence, Seyle’s definition still reaches to the heart of stress management; the idea of the response being inappropriate and engaging in a process of altering ones misperception of pending disaster or imminent danger.

  6. Great list! I’m always looking for ways to be a better husband (as well as other roles), though a few of those may be considered an invasion of boundaries at times (yes, I’ve done or tried most of the list LOL).

    I’d also like to expand on number 33–sometimes negative feelings may come out as anger. It’s important to respond, rather than react, and find out what’s behind the aggression. It could be fear, stress or sadness.

    I’m putting this in my Google Calendar to review every 90 days or so 🙂

    • Barrie Davenport says:

      Hi Paul,
      I’m sure I am preaching to the choir with my enlightened group of readers here — but you are right, a reminder is always good. Great point about #33. You are absolutely right. Thanks for adding that.

  7. This list has a lot of applicability for all sorts of couples — but it’s both surprising and disappointing that you are assuming all of your readers are heterosexual. Maybe re-title the blog post so gay guys like me won’t bother to click. (But that would lose the lesbians.) Or better yet, think outside the usual boxes, alternate pronouns, and realize that many of the items on your list would benefit the guys, too – gay, straight, bi, or anything in between.

    • Barrie Davenport says:

      Hi Tom,
      So sorry! I didn’t mean to exclude you, and I’m delighted you are a reader. Many of these actions can apply to any loving couple. And I’ll add more that women can do for men. I guess I’m writing from my own personal perspective, so thanks for the gentle reminder that we aren’t all the same! Ho9pe you visit again.

  8. As a woman, I loved these ideas. Most of them such small gestures that go so far. If couples could only understand how easy it is to create a good solid relationship. I am looking forward to the ideas that a woman could use, and I will incorporate those into my life.

    • Barrie Davenport says:

      Hi Karen,
      I’m so glad you enjoyed the post. The small gestures can make or break a relationship.

  9. My husband, bless him, already does many things on this list (my favorites are telling me I’m beautiful and showing me he loves me everyday). But I’m still printing this out for him. 🙂 There are some good ones on here! Thanks.

    Many of the things on this list are things I put on my “what I want in a man list” I made before I attracted my husband, and he does all the things I wrote on that list! These lists have power!

    • Barrie Davenport says:

      Hi Ande,
      They sure do have power. Just bringing these thoughts to the forefront of your mind is a great reminder of what we need and deserve in a relationship. You are fortunate to have found your great guy!

  10. Great list! I particularly enjoyed the “east breakfast with her” 🙂

    Keep up the great work!

    • Barrie Davenport says:

      Hi Ben,
      Yes, an East breakfast is far tastier than a West breakfast! 🙂 Thanks for catching that. I’ll fix it.

  11. A lovely list….I wish some gorgeous man would come along and do some of those things for me!

    I just wonder….sometimes when I am in a relationship, and I try to do nice things like the ones in your list for someone e.g. always bringing him a cup of tea in bed, I find that I’m sometimes the one who ends up doing all the giving and he seems quite happy to be the one doing all the taking. There has to be a balance between giving and taking with both people doing a mix of both but it’s so difficult to achieve! Or have I just not met the right man yet?

    • Barrie Davenport says:

      Hi Jen,
      Sometimes you have to tell your guy exactly what you want and need. Some people need a little nudge and guidance. However, if you’ve done that and still get no response, then yes, you may not have met the right man. A balance is necessary for a healthy relationship.

  12. What a list! If all men got this list before marraige, they would have saved a lot of heartaches and enjoyed a heathier marraige/relashionship!
    Thank you.

  13. carla of dc says:

    As I sit and read the list I started to cry with joy, you just don’t know how overwhemeled iam my true love does every single thing on this list he is truly god sent and his favorite song is “Find hundred ways” that is amazing I will forever love him I have five children none with him and he treats us with nothing nothing but great love and respect I wish that I could get james ingrham or someone who could sing the song like him to sing for my baby birthday he will be so happy please god answer my prayer I love this man so much and I just want to keep him happy at all times

    • Barrie Davenport says:

      How lovely Carla. You are truly blessed to have someone like this in your life. And I’m sure he is equally blessed to have you!

  14. I send many message to she, but she have not one message back to me,dear Barrie Davenport,could you help me?Thanks very much.

  15. Well done! I especially like the very last one. I think one of the biggest pieces is to focus on doing something every single day – it keeps you thinking of her first and genuinely communicates your attention to her. That’s exactly what my blog is about.

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