People Pleaser? How To Release The Need To Please

People pleaser

When I was a younger woman, I wanted everyone to like me.

I was motivated by the positive reinforcement I received when making others happy, and I felt my worthiness was connected to pleasing.

Disappointing people, making them angry, or going against what other’s deemed acceptable was deeply uncomfortable for me. So I tried hard not to do those things.

In addition, I had a very low tolerance for conflict. I would often acquiesce to the wishes of the other person when it came to making a decision or choice — even if I didn’t agree. I would act against my own desires rather than provoke a conflict.

It took years for me to break free from people pleasing. Eventually the pain of diminishing myself became greater than the pain of disappointing others or encountering conflict. I began to feel resentful and empty. I knew I had to change. As I grew in self-confidence, I no longer felt drawn to the need to please or inhibited by the fear of conflict.

People pleasing can be addictive. You become addicted to the approval and good feelings that come from making people happy and comfortable, as you tend to their needs over your own. You ultimately crave this acceptance in order to feel validated and worthy. You keep giving and giving to get your fix of approval and self-esteem. (more…)

15 Negative Thoughts Holding You Back From Health and Happiness

Negative thoughtsPut a rubber band around your wrist.

Throughout your day, when you notice the rubber band, stop for a moment and examine the thoughts you were just thinking. Were they positive, neutral, or negative?

As you examine your thoughts, also pay attention to how you feel. Are you calm? Agitated? Anxious? Irritated? Energized?

Take a… Continue Reading…

20 Things Confident People Never Do

Confident peopleHer heart was pounding.

A dozen pairs of eyes were staring her way.

The only thing between her and complete nakedness was a thin robe. And she was about to drop the robe, step up on a platform, and stand before all of these people without a stitch of clothing.

The instructor looked at her, letting… Continue Reading…

How To Rekindle Your Relationship And Fall In Love Again

relationship problemsStop reading for a moment, and think back to the first few weeks after you met your spouse or love partner.

Actually try to visualize an early date where you were cuckoo for CoCo Puffs about this amazing person. And they felt the same about you.

Remember how it felt falling in love, how happily… Continue Reading…

Positive Habits: 5 Small Changes To Dramatically Upgrade Your Life

positive habitsSometimes it’s the smallest changes that make the biggest differences in our lives.

Look back over your life and consider the little tweaks you’ve made that led you to be happier, healthier, or more fulfilled. At the time you initiated these changes, you may have felt little impact. But in retrospect you see how… Continue Reading…

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